Talk:Nest of Angels/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 16:46, 2 November 2012 (UTC)Reply

  • I don't know if it is necessary to cite the title in an article about the title. We're using the episode itself as a reference for that. Also, if you must keep Ref. 1, fix the parenthesis in the parenthesis. It looks funny.
  • Intro: "Brenton and the producers made the episode with much research to provide a balanced view towards Islam, as well as the nature of the plot" -> "Brenton and the producers researched elements of Islam in order to o provide a balanced view towards the religion, as well as the nature of the plot"
  • Intro: Comma needed after "however"
  • Plot: I'm not sure, but I think "west" should be capitalized in the plot section.
  • Plot: disired -> desired
  • Plot: "Tom is okay" Maybe a bit too colloquial. How about "Tom is unharmed".
  • Writing: "after the audience watch the episode" should be either "after the audience watched the episode" or "after the audience would watch the episode"
  • Writing: "He included characters who were innocent Muslims who oppose the extremists from their religion, and a "Muslim hero" to thwart the terrorists." -> "He included characters, such as innocent Muslims who opposed the Islamic extremists, as well as a "Muslim hero" who would thwart the terrorists."
  • Writing: "The ending was written to be melancholic, a conclusion that there were no winners." -> "The ending was written to be melancholic, in which there were no winners."
  • Casting: "The episode included a guest appearance from Alexander Siddig, who was well known as playing regular character Julian Bashir in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, played the "Muslim hero" Muhammed Ibhn Khaldun." -> "The episode included a guest appearance from Alexander Siddig, who played the "Muslim hero" Muhammed Ibhn Khaldun. Siddig was already well known as playing regular character Julian Bashir in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine."
  • Casting: "The producers thought Siddig as a "noble" actor when playing the character." -> "The producers thought of Siddig as a "noble" actor when he was playing his character."
  • Casting: "It also sees" -> "The episode also marks"
  • Filming: "The episode was directed Bharat Nalluri, he" Either put a semi-colon instead of the comma after Nalluri, or add 'and' in there
  • Controversy: "members of the broadcasters believed that viewers realises" -> "members of the broadcasters believed that viewers realised"
  • Controvery: "drama about this - it is topical" & "suicide bombers inside - kill the bombers" Change the dash to an en-dash (–)
  • Are there any critical reviews? Usually, those are important for an episode article.
  • References: You use parenthesis inside parenthesis quite a bit. It's OK just to say "Spooks Series 2"
  • References: Every appearance of the show should be italicized

That's all. On hold for seven days.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:23, 13 November 2012 (UTC)Reply

I've addressed the above issues, hope this helps. Thanks for the review. -- Matthew RD 16:03, 14 November 2012 (UTC)Reply
Looks good. I will pass. Congrats!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 05:49, 15 November 2012 (UTC)Reply