Talk:New Brighton Park
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PEER REVIEW
Looks great - I especially like the information about the expansion and connection project. My comments are as follows:
- The initial reference to Creekway Park and the proposed connection is abrupt and unclear. You have linked (or will) to explanatory sections but a small bit more detail such as "linked because of current City of Vancouver expansion project currently underway" would be helpful.
- The plaque is interesting but not legible in this photo. Either include a better photo that can be read or include the copy.
- The image of the dog park boundary should be legible especially since you reference it. Crop photo to only include boundary map you reference.
- The sloped entry to the pool is likely for wheel chair access as well. Confirm and reference this too.
- Who recommends comfy stuff to sit on? - source.
- Pricing is currently capitalized. Should be lower case.
- Sewage overflow information is important but placement it awkward - last think I want to hear about after reading about the pool! You could ease the transition by starting with the second sentence New Brighton Park...
- There has also been a great deal of controversy in the area over the past 10 years, you may have choses not to include this because its not the park, by the development is certainly linked. Check out this link for a couple of conversation starters. http://viaducteast.ca/tag/new-brighton-park/
You've give me lots of ideas of how to improve our page. Thanks! User:paulajgill — Preceding undated comment added 01:48, 26 March 2014 (UTC)
Editing Suggestions
Hey guys,
Overall, it looks like you guys have put in a lot of work and the page is really informative. Here are a few edits I thought of:
- phrase "waterfront space" sounds like advertising; perhaps change to "location with water and mountain views" - you could add in the actual plaque phrases into the article - sentence is a fragment: "This is between Windermere Street and Nootka Street, and E Waterfront Road" - in the Sewage Overflow section, I suggest starting with the sentence "New Brighton Park is one of the many locations in Vancouver, Burnaby, and New Westminster, that sewage outflow occurs." to give it context from the very beginning. (I was confused why this section was here at first). - is the sewage overflow a health or environmental concern? - consider adding categories section - Hastings Park Sanctuary - can you be more specific with what plants and animals are there - typo of repeated word: "This project, which completed completed it's first stage in September of 2013" - broken link to Vancouver City Council page - is there any criticism of any of this development?
Nice work! - Laura Lauraje (talk) 05:09, 25 March 2014 (UTC)
BIOL 345-WIKI REVIEW Hi Guys,
First off I would like to say making a page for New Brighton Park is a great idea, and the park deserves it! I thought there were a few things that you could change or edit to make it more aesthetically pleasing: 1. Sentence: "New Brighton Pool is a public outdoor pool that is usually open from May to September. [5]" Please make sure the reference is before the period particularly in that sentence.
2. I found your format of having two pictures on both sides of the page making the contents in between quite squished. Possibly just have one picture on one side and alternate?
3. I liked your pictures as they were very important and displayed the beauty and monuments of the park - however they were abit small. Possibly make them all quite larger. Particularly the picture of the inscription so that it is readable?
4. I liked how you offered external links like "New Brighton Pool prices" and " New Brighton Pool details". However, it might be better to link them to their own pages using wiki-unique coding such as: "
" - it has the "wiki formatting" style
5. There are two pictures that you labeled as “the sanctuary” it would be great to gain better description of what the particular pictures portray.
6. You can work on Formatting the paragraphs and layout - ex. the external link "Hastings Lake Master Plan" is awkwardly on the side- move to the middle.
There were also a few things I thought you could add to make your page that much better:
1. It would be very helpful if you were to Ad links from the Hastings park and Creek park to your page
2. More details about the habitat of the park - animals, the wildlife.
3. The Sanctuary sounds like a major portion of the park -research more info about the Sanctuary ex. the types of fish within the river that runs through the park
4. It would also be helpful to the reader to learn about a) possible recreational activities at park b) Spots to relax at the park
5. One major thing I think you should discuss are the beaches that surround the park. It would really elevate your page.
Let me know what you guys think!
Aabundo (talk) 03:56, 19 March 2014 (UTC)
This will be a good website to find codes to make the wiki page look more appealing. http://snippets.wikidot.com/
Fcheng62 (talk) 09:42, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
Creekway Picture Uploaded.
Fcheng62 (talk) 04:10, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
uploaded another picture
Fcheng62 (talk) 04:05, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
Here are the 5 Pictures we want to put into our page.
Keep in mind we can always change the description.
Fcheng62 (talk) 03:54, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
I basically moved your part into its own sectionGeoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 03:51, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
Yes I think that would be a good idea! Let's see if we have enough History so it does not overlap with other park history. Fcheng62 (talk) 03:48, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
Think it looks good to have the History part as a section? Or make it a part of the introduction?
Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 03:34, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
just added a little on the history of the park, but still looking for more that is relevant to New Brighton. Also looking at habitat information about the park itself, but all I'm getting right now is more about the habitat at the Sanctuary. I'm thinking about expanding the Pool section to make it a recreation section, but seeing if there's enough information to do so.
Fcheng62 (talk) 21:30, 11 March 2014 (UTC)
I don't think we should have everything on one page. I talked to Rosie about it last week and she said it would be fine to have a New Brighton page, a Creekway Park page, and add a section to the Hastings Park page. Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 06:31, 11 March 2014 (UTC)
Hey,
Just checking on the dog walking time and I've just fixed the references for the entire thing so all the links should work! I think we can add the creekway part on this wiki page actually, and I found an awesome site for that http://vancouver.ca/home-property-development/hastings-park-pne-master-plan.aspx Fcheng62 (talk) 16:39, 10 March 2014 (UTC)
Just realized that the dog walking time frame doesn't include the month of April. I can't open the link for some reason. Just double check that it isn't supposed to be April 30th.
Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 07:53, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
Started a sandbox for the creekway project through my account. I don't know how to set up another one for the part that we will add to the Hasting Park page. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Geoffreymckendry2243/sandbox
Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 01:12, 6 March 2014 (UTC)
Also, I changed the size of the photos to make them fit the sections. I don't know if it really looks good or not...You can play around with it where the file for the picture has the |125px|
Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 22:02, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Hey Fabian,
I added some stuff to our New Brighton page. What do you think about providing links to the pool websites? Some of the information such as prices and class schedules change year by year, so I thought it might be better to give links.
Geoffreymckendry2243 (talk) 22:02, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Hi Geoff,
I think we can just write all the information we want on those in this sandbox and figure out the format at the very end because that's shouldn't been too hard!
Fcheng62 (talk) 02:34, 23 February 2014 (UTC)
Here are the links to the pictures
Fcheng62 (talk) 21:11, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
BIOL 345 ADAM'S WIKIPEDIA PAGE REVIEW
Hey folks, awesome page! This definitely deserves a page and you've done a great job showcasing the park! Here's my feedback.
First heading “New Brighton Park” should be surrounded by “==_==” so it will show up as a heading. Grammar correction in first sentence, New Brighton Park is (a) waterfront space. Re-wording is needed on how “it is the original area in which Vancouver began.” Great section, the first sentence just needs to be re-worded. Dog-Walking section: why are dogs only allowed to be off leash from May 1st to September 30th. Every little section doesn’t need to have a big heading, you could group Dog Walking + the New Brighton Pool sections into the same section titled “Park Services” or something like that. In 2nd to last sentence under “Hastings Park Sanctuary” the word “completed” is used twice consecutively. A section about how the community interacts with the park could be inserted, possibly towards the end of your page. --Adamberson510 (talk) 19:23, 22 March 2014 (UTC)
Comments from Ruth
editGood page and great photos, although there are a few things you need to think about:
- Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Include province and country (and make each a link) Don't forget these pages are for a global audience
- ”For local residents, New Brighton Park provides a proximal location for activities similar to those that are enjoyed at Kitsilano Beach in more distant parts of Vancouver.” I am not sure this sentence telling us anything. Isn’t it just saying that New Brighton Park is like Kitsilano Beach Park and that people who live close to NBP will go there instead of Kits Beach?? Make your point clearer or remove the sentence.
- You use some quite flowery language i.e. “lounge beside the pool”. Simplify some of your wording.
- Your whole New Brighton Pool section sounds like an advert rather than an encyclopedia entry. Reword to avoid this.
- Replace all the times you use the word many with numbers and include a reference
- Instead of having pages for all those different things could you change your page to “Hasting Sunrise Vancouver Parks” or something similar and have the different parks as sections within that page? Otherwise you have to make sure that your separate pages work as standalone pages with sufficient background and introduction, which they don't have at the moment.
- I like that you talked about sewage, but could you include more information?? What are the consequences of having sewage overflow etc?
With these improvements this will make a great page that will encourage many people to visit New Brighton Park. In fact it makes me want to go an visit!!
Feedback from Rosie
editThe peer-reviewer comments are excellent - you should address them in your revisions. I think it's OK to keep the organization you plan, though you can do what Ruth suggests if you think that would be better. I like the photo of the map - it makes up for not having an actual map as part of the page.
'plaque', not 'plague' in the photo caption! Replace 'proximal' with 'nearby' if that's what you mean.
Travelling from Beaver Creek Yukon over the next few days heading ti NEW Brightin Park on my way to Seattle Washington and then on to Pensacola, Florida!! Looking forward to an amazing "road trip!" ~ RC
editHoping to send a package to New Brighton Park and grab it along my journey?? ~RC Robin Cash (talk) 17:20, 24 August 2017 (UTC)
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