Talk:No Man's Land (Koda Kumi song)/GA1

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:16, 30 March 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 02:16, 30 March 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• The single cover image needs an alt.
• I don't think that the cover image is acceptable here; it wasn't made specifically for "No Man's Land", so this cannot be the official cover, even if it was used for the promotional CD singles or whatever it was used for
• Change the genre from 'Rock music' to 'Rock'
• The track listing's numbers are messed up; it skips from 13 to 3...?
• Remove the "Miscellaneous" part from the infobox

Lead

Paragraph 2

• If 'heavy metal' is mentioned here, shouldn't it be mentioned above as well?
• "lovers life." → "lover's life."
• "favourable to mixed" → "mixed to positive"
• You need a period (.) at the end of the final sentence in this paragraph

Paragraph 3

• "Because it was released digitally, "No Man's Land"..." → "Due to "No Man's Land" being released digitally, it..."
• Shouldn't the semi-colon be a colon?

Background

• Remove the semi-colon after "main record labels"
• Remove "has" after "Mr. Blistah..."

Composition

Paragraph 1

• Nice addition of a sample!
• If she herself described the song as "Heavy metal", it should definitely be included in the genre(s) above in the infobox

Paragraph 2

• Remove "online store"
• Insert "the" before "English and Japanese language"
• Insert "s" after "English and Japanese language"

Release

• You could probably add this entire section to 'Background' and change the section title to 'Background and release'
• What do you mean by "Because Japonesque was released in Taiwan, the song and its music video was released on all formats?"; I don't see the relationship between the two
• "the song and its music video was released on all formats" → "the song and its music video were released on all formats"
• "same released date" → "same release date"

Critical and commercial responses

• Rename as "Critical reception"

Paragraph 1

• "Upon its release," → "After its release,"
• "favourable to mixed" → "mixed to positive"
• You use "commended" and "commending" a lot; you can also use "appreciated", "enjoyed", etc.
• Remove the link to Asian Junkie; it will be perfectly fine without one

Paragraph 2

• You can remove this entirely; it's too short to warrant a separate paragraph and it only charted in one country–see my point?

Music video

Background and synopsis

Paragraph 1

• Why is the text centered in the picture to the right?

Paragraph 3

• "cited it" → "declared it"

Release, controversy, and ban

• Unfortunately, I am not fluent (or even near fluent) in Japanese. And I do not know of how to contact a Japanese Wikipedian; since you are right about the original research part, I would remove the section entirely, and from the lead as well; let me know what you decide to do!

Live performances and other inclusions

• Remove this: "The performance at Kanagawa Arena on September 8 received positive remarks from music critics;" (It's unnecessary since each performance is the same.)

End of GA Review:

Another very good article; just some tidying up needs to happen. The music video controversy section should be removed so it doesn't include WP:OR. Thanks again! Carbrera (talk) 03:00, 2 April 2016 (UTC)

@CaliforniaDreamsFan: Are you done with this yet? I reread this and it looks fantastic. Carbrera (talk) 02:23, 4 April 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: Give me a few more ticks (minutes) to re-read some areas just in case it doesn't cross over into the WP:Original research category. I'll let you know once I'm done re-reading it. Cheers, CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:26, 4 April 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: Done and dusted! CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 03:30, 4 April 2016 (UTC)