Talk:Northern Illinois Food Bank
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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
editThis article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 27 August 2018 and 5 December 2018. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Clare.mckeown, Alafra21, El Shinobi de Zaloya. Peer reviewers: ExploreTheJourney, Chiching2018, DjJackie1, Jinxxgnome.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:42, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
Jinxxgnome Peer Edit
edit- This organization sounds like it does great things!
- I liked how they have many different pantries and centers in many different counties
- The organization in this was very good!
- In the History section, it is mentioned that the woman who created the food bank created it in DuPage County...where in DuPage county was it created? That might be something to put in.
- Why did the woman create this food bank? Maybe a little information about her as well?
- It's mentioned that the pantry receives "damaged food", is the food still good to eat? Clear that part up a little bit.
- In the programs section, "Spartan Food Pantry" is mentioned. Mention more about how this relates to the Northern Illinois food bank.
- For the events, are there any notable celebrities you can mention that were apart of it?
- https://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/elgin-courier-news/news/ct-ecn-ent-volunteer-graziano-1021-story.html this was an interesting article I found about why a woman helps and volunteers there. Maybe mention something about volunteers and what they do?
Toma Talpa Peer Review
editI like this article as it covers some interesting info about an issue that is still affecting a lot of people nowadays. The lead is easy to understand even though it needs a little editing. The structure of the article is clear, but more details are needed since the coverage is not balanced. It’s a neutral content and reliable sources talking about the organization.
Intro: First sentence needs to be break down in two and is tricky at the end as it can be considered as plagiarism. The first sentence should be about the organization and its goal to give an idea of what the organization mission. Also, the wording needed to be changed a little to be clear avoiding the narrative style.
History: Why Sister Rosemarie Burian wanted to create the food bank out of DuPage County? In what city? Did she lived there and experienced the hunger issue? Or it was because she saw people dealing with hunger while being at church? Also, the last sentence seems a little biased as it tells damaged food was coming from grocery stores and corporations giving the feeling that those who partnered with them didn’t care. Why the food was damaged? The source specifies that the food is slightly damaged and cannot be sold.
Partnerships: Nice description of their partners and a good history of what their contribution was.
Distribution Centers: Good informative news about the opening of a new center. The last sentences are not cited, and we don’t know from where that information comes.
Programs: Programs can be described separately in a form of a list. Also, what are the six locations in Aurora. The link cited is a general one. The source also informs that during the meal there are some activities people do through Northern Illinois Food Bank’ partnerships with Aurora Public Library’ bookmobile and Fox Valley Park District Neighborhood Art Program. Some articles on these partnerships would be informative. For the Holiday Meal Box-when the 200 volunteers help? What year? Also, look more into programs as they are more, like “Go Orange”.
Events: The event is very interesting and had some characteristics about auction that you could include like what items are included in the auction.
Awards: The awards section needs to be edited as it’s not clear.
Others: This could be putted in the partnerships probably.
The article is a good one, full of good sources that you need to carefully read and take as much detail as you can, especially the programs as they have a bunch of them. I like how you opened different sides of it, including events and programs. I could do the same for my article as well.
Toma Talpa 11/3/2018 (ExploreTheJourney (talk) 23:51, 3 November 2018 (UTC))
Jacqueline Walker Peer Edit
edit- They have a good amount of sources which shows they have a wide array of information to pull from. The structure is also nice which makes it a easy read. — Preceding
- They give a decent amount of info in which I can get the gist of this nonprofit and the structure helps as well.
- They need to expand on there page but that could just be because they haven't received info back from their nonprofit. Also they are not staying neutral when it comes to their wording. This sentence " Thanks to its partnerships and donors, it allows for more than 71,000 people to be feed each week through different feeding programs. [1] Northern Illinois Food Bank activates in 13 counties surrounding Chicago." The use of the word "Thanks" is too emotional and needs to be worded more neutral. I will correct to show how it should look.
- Those changes would follow the requirement to making a good Wikipedia page. Wording is important so you won't be edited for biases or seen as a biased page. I would also look at crains, tribune, etc to get more info.(Ex.https://www.chicagobusiness.com/custom-media/giving-guide/2018/northernfood.html)
- Expansion and tone check are the two most important. Because you will be come a better Wikipedia writer and understand how to word unbiased.
- I will defiantly be adding this structure to my Wikipedia.
unsigned comment added by DjJackie1 (talk • contribs) 14:32, 7 November 2018 (UTC)
Chiching2018 Peer Edit
edit- I made quite a bit of edits already. But I just wanted to mention that I believe a few more citations are needed in the distribution section.
- Northern Illinois Food Bank is saving lives. Great org to capture!