Talk:Not All the Beautiful Things
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GA Nomination checklist
editBased on the points stated at Talk:Not All the Beautiful Things/GA1, I will be creating a checklist here to mark off completed tasks.
- Lead and infobox
- Please add ALT text for the infobox image.
- References are normally discouraged for the lead and infobox unless it is controversial information. None of the information currently cited in the lead and the infobox is particularly controversial, and it all should be included in the body of the article with the appropriate citations.
- The information on the genres should be cited in the body of the article. Same goes for the record label.
- In the infobox, you say that the album was recorded between the years 2014 and 2018, but it is not included or cited in the body of the article. If this information does not have a citation, then it needs to be removed. Already cited in background, album took four years to make
- The article on What So Not refers to it as a “musical project”, but the opening sentence of the lead makes it sound like “What So Not” is just an alternative name for Emerson. Wouldn’t it be better to revise the opening sentence of the lead to the following (Not All the Beautiful Things is the debut album by Australian music project What So Not, which consists of Chris Emerson.) to clarify this matter? I am just confused about this for most of the article. I would also make the second half of the sentence on the release date and record label into its own sentence.
- For this sentence (Emerson began his work on the album after completing an intense six-year long global touring period, which had left him unable to commit fully to a studio album.), I would remove “his” from “his work”, and I would make “intense six-year long global tour period” to “six-year global tour period”.
- For this sentence (His frequent travels influenced the sound design of many tracks in the album, including "Beautiful" and “Us”.), you can just say “sound” instead of “sound design”.
- I have two comments about this sentence (The record's title was named after the "important" things which are ignored by people who focus only on their grandiose ideas.). Please clarify who is saying this; was this something that Emerson said, someone else who worked on the album, or a critic? I would also paraphrase the “important” quote. Phrase "simple pleasures" highlighted in ref 3
- For this part ( It featured collaborations with a wide range of artists), I would say “features” as the album will always feature these collaborations and thus should be in the present tense.
- I have two comments for this sentence (The album received generally positive reviews from music critics who praised the featuring guests and production quality.). Please put a comma after “critics” and I would say “features” or “featured artists” rather than “featuring guests”.
- I would see if you could divide the lead into two paragraphs as it is an awkward length right now.
- For this part (The record included three singles), I would use “includes” rather than “included”.
- Background and development
- Please link “What So Not” on the first time that you mention it in the body of the article.
- When you first mention “extended play”, please add (EP) after its first use to make the acronym clear to an unfamiliar reader.
- I am a little confused the chronology of the first paragraph. I have never heard of this album or group prior to reading this article. I think that moving this sentence (Emerson had previously released four EPs under What So Not, three which was co-produced with Australian artist Flume before his departure from the project.) to the front would be helpful.
- I am not sure if all of the quotes in the first paragraph are necessary.
- You use the word “encounter” twice in the context of cultures. I would revise this to avoid it.
- The prose for this section could use work. I would put in a request for a copy-edit here. I think that this section as a whole needs work to read more cohesively.
- I do not really see how the Toto quotebox is relevant to this article. It is not really about the album at all.
- Comment: The track stands out within the album, so I thought it could use some background behind it. If not, I'll remove it and add it as text to the single section.
- Promotion
- This section is only about the tour so I either rename it to “Tour” or add more information about other promotional strategies done for the album.
- Critical reception
- I would give more a structure to this section as it currently appears like a rather random assortment of critics and their opinions. I would look to Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections for information on how to do this. , can still be improved.
- Commercial performance
- You will need to include information on the album’s commercial performance in the prose as either a separate “Commercial performance” section or combine it with the “Critical reception” section for a “Reception” section.
- No coverage on commercial performance and sales, on Billboard or any related sites.
- The song charted so you need to have that information present and cited in the prose. The above statement is also untrue, as it charted on a Billboard chart so there would be coverage on that. Aoba47 (talk) 19:12, 4 October 2018 (UTC)
- Trueee, I can include the charting info regardless since it appeared on Billboard, though it might not be long. Thanks!
- This information needs to be present in the prose in some form. Aoba47 (talk) 22:14, 5 October 2018 (UTC)
- References
- Avoid WP:Shouting for Reference 3.
- External links
- I would add a link to the discogs page. Unreliable source
- From my experience with album articles in the GAN and FAC process, this is a norm. Aoba47 (talk) 19:12, 4 October 2018 (UTC)
- See WP:ALBUMAVOID though, Discogs is known to be USER:G and is therefore unreliable.
- Comments
- Should I add the peak chart position to the lead? The album only reached number 8, so I'm not sure if it's an achievement.
- @Aoba47: I'm resubmitting the nomination with all your suggestions taken into account, do re-review the article whenever you're free! Before you do though, I hope you can look at the comments I've made on some of the suggestions to see if they can be rectified by any chance. :) aNode (discuss) 15:58, 4 October 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for the ping, and good luck with the article. I unfortunately do not have the time to review the article again; either way, it would be more helpful to you to have another perspective anyway. Aoba47 (talk) 19:12, 4 October 2018 (UTC)
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Not All the Beautiful Things/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Shaidar cuebiyar (talk · contribs) 04:39, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
Starting the review
editI will be going through each of the criteria below, in order. I reserve the right to return to earlier comments or sections and revise or add to them until my review is finished. Unless otherwise indicated, maintain existing wikilinks and formatting. The review process should take about a week. I will allow an additional week for any requested changes to be made before making my decision. I have no problem with editors starting to fix up the article before I have finished, but caution them that I may not see their improvements until late in my review process: I may refer to problems that no longer exist.
Check the toolbox for any immediately actionable problems.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:39, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
Criterion 1
editIt is well written.
- a. the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct; and:
- b. it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
- Infobox
- Add {{Use Australian English|date=December 2018}} Just below use dmy dates 'plate.
- | alt = should be in Australian English: grey not gray (in any case, is "chrome" a better descriptor?), palette is a noun: don't verbalise it. Alt should acknowledge any text on the cover, e.g. Artist's name is written below the image in block capitals and highlighted in blue.
- For | released = use {{Start date|df=y|2018|3|9}}
- | studio = is empty: where was it recorded? Some locations are described in the main text but not named.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:46, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Bass music > [[Bass music|Bass]]
- Counter Records > Counter
- MoS: Stuck in Orbit
- New infobox
- Remove Records from Counter Records
- Where is [[Warner Music Australia|Warner]] ?
- Is Sweat It Out mentioned in the main text?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:28, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Lead
- Try to get ¶¶ more equal in size.
- delink common terms e.g. Australian
- which consists of DJ and producer Chris Emerson > which is the performance name of DJ and producer, Chris Emerson Also be consistent through the article, where ever possible refer to What So Not in preference to Emerson.
- a range of artists, notably > a range of artists,
- I don't think the Lead adequately summarises the rest of the article. This is a big problem.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:36, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- New lead
- You've improved this a lot: ¶¶ sizes are better, better summary of rest of article.
- Remove "uncredited" from list of uncredited co-writers,
- MoS again: "Stuck in Orbit"shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:44, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Background and development
- Start section with: Not All the Beautiful Things was issued by Australian electronic music project, What So Not Reword the rest of the article to refer to the project name, What So Not, unless unavoidable. Clearly distinguish usage of What So Not, Chris Emerson/Emerson or Emoh Instead/Emoh. Also reduce overuse of the artist's name (in whichever form); currently: Emerson (46×), What So Not (37×).
- Reduce over use of terms: the album; tour/touring
- who subsequently left the project. > who left in February 2015. Check that the ref covers this time line or add another ref to do so.
- Delink common terms: Sydney; song writing
- MoS: Not All the Beautiful Things ; Divide and Conquer
- There's a lot of repetition in this section
- Concise? The album took him a period of four years to produce and record while touring, from 2014 to 2018 > It was recorded from 2014 to 2018, in between touring. By the way, 2014 to 2018 is five years.
- Check endings of direct quotes: e.g. to personal relationships". ; by a certain point". Its a MoS thing.
- Try to avoid using "produce" unless referring to record production. e.g. song demos were produced for the album > song demos were made for the album
- Reduce redundancy: that fit Emerson's ethos, narrative and story were used.; perhaps go with that fit the artist's narrative were used.
- Trim: On 31 January 2018, Emerson announced the album's release date of 9 March 2018 on Counter Records, > In January 2018 the DJ announced its release date as 9 March via Counter Records,
- Australian English: publicised
- Caution: almost every ¶ gives a direct quote by Emerson. This may affect Criterion 4.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:30, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- Quotebox: and Rolling Stone actually tracked meshaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:37, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- New background
- This section has improved too.
- For the new photo, add alt text.
- MoS: check endings of direct quotes: e.g. on tour for almost six years". > on tour for almost six years." There are others.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:03, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Singles
- The singles don't have their own articles: so a ¶ for each seems reasonable.
- Specify: Critics described. It's actually David Klemov who is being quoted here.
- A better descriptor is required: with producers Slumberjack. Maybe with music and production duo, Slumberjack or similar. Also give their names (Morgan Then, Fletcher Ehlers), first time.
- Trim: Daniel Johns was walking by the studio > Johns was walking by; prompting him to invite Emerson to his Newscastle studio to work on a collaboration. > he invited What So Not to collaborate at the singer's [[Newcastle, New South Wales|Newcastle]] studio. Note: changed pipe.
- Additionally the single has vocals by What So Not: is this a first for the otherwise, instrumentalist? (see here)
- Johns co-writes this and two more tracks.
- "Stuck in Orbit"
- Replace "the album's" with "its" in as the album's second single
- Remove sentence that starts with The tracklist and release date for This has already been mentioned up in Background and development. Note: its track list: if used elsewhere.
- Give Buoy's name (Charmian Kingston), first time.
- Wikilink Jagwar Ma. Note this is a trio not an individual. However does the commentary refer to a group member, Jono Ma? This needs to be clarified.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:40, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Delink 2nd time for Nicaragua
- Give Winona Oak's name (Johanna Ekmark), first time. Is Evergreen Oak another alias for same?
- Delete "from the album" in final single from the album.
- Clarify the song was put together in a Nicaraguan camp: where does Captain Cuts fit in this explanation? By the way, name them if all three are the song's co-writers.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:46, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- New singles
- Improve expression: his first vocal performance on his tracks. too many "his", maybe try his first recorded vocal performance.
- Adjust font style, e.g. the ' in the project’s earliest > the project's earliest Fix others.
- At the end of ¶1, add Eblen also provided the cover art (see above).
- Fix a jam with Jagwar Ma Should be Jona Ma: the other two members were not involved in the jam session(s) according to Kat Bein (current ref [24]). Note: another studio is described here.
- Clarify Nicaraguan camp Was Oak attending the same song writing workshops as What So Not?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:37, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Tour
- A single ¶ sub-section: content should be moved to one of the other sub-sections.
- Trim On 16 January 2018, Emerson announced a 2018 worldwide tour > An international tour was announced in January 2018; for his album titled the "Beautiful Things World Tour". > , the Beautiful Things World Tour. Note: remove quote marks for tour name.
- Change "producer" for a better descriptor in brought the producer
- Trim was announced on 27 February 2018. Emerson played at Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane in June 2018. > took in Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane in June 2018.; The tour included Emerson's newly launched touring rig, which featured a large chrome horse and chariot setup. > He used a new touring rig, which include a large chrome horse and chariot set-up. Note: "chrome horse" here resonates with putting chrome horse up in infobox alt text.
- Critical reception
- The sub-heading may have to be retitled Reception after incorporating the single ¶ from Commercial performance.
- Adjust ¶ sizes to be more equal.
- Delink common terms: music critics
- Check attributions, refer to the author not the magazine/website for with Nylon writing; Exclaim! felt or similar.
- New Reception
- Delete the sub-Headings Critical response and Commercial performance as the latter is far too thin for its own section (or sub-section).
- Clarify The songs in Not All The Beautiful Things received particular attention from music critics: Is this stating the obvious? If you're a music critic what should you give particular attention to in an album's review?
- The lead-in sentence should provide a brief summary of critical opinions. Why not start with an echo of the Lead statement? e.g. something like Music critics were generally positive for Not All the Beautiful Things, most praised the collaborations and production values; although some felt parts were too predictable.
- MoS and The Music's Emma Italicise any newspaper/magazine/website names. Also fix in review table (wikilink it there, too).
- Clarify US Dance/Electronic Albums, it should mention Billboard, as there are other Dance/Electronic Albums chart in the United States.
- Provide variety for "peaked at" (3× in two sentences).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:15, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Commercial performance
- At two sentences, this single ¶ sub-section can easily be incorporated in the previous one.
- Between number and 14 place a hard space; number 14 Note: check wiki-code for usage. Do the same for similar occurrences.
- Fix sentence: peaked for two weeks on the ARIA Albums Chart at number 14, > peaked at number 14 on the ARIA Albums Chart, The "two weeks" bit is incorrect: it was in the top 50 for those two weeks.
- Additional Australian information for component charting is available at this archive, specifically Issue No. 1464, 1465 and 1466; which show the album at No. 25 on the ARIA Top 100 Physical Albums, No. 8 on the ARIA Digital Albums, No. 4 on the ARIA Australian Artists Albums, and No. 2 on the ARIA Dance Albums charts. As for singles (and related material), see Issue No. 1450 for "Be Ok Again", No. 1473 to 1480 for "Beautiful" (Volac / Zeke Beats / Kaz James mix) What So Not Feat. Winona Oak.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:05, 6 December 2018 (UTC)
- Track listing
- As before, use Australian English: Tracklist > Track list
- Note: AllMusic is not reliable for song writers. Where possible use "Warlord" (and other titles) at Australasian Performing Right Association (APRA) / Australasian Mechanical Copyright Owners Society (AMCOS) search engine. If not, use ACE Repertory for What So Not at American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) search engine.
- Delete sentence, All tracks are produced by Chris Emerson. This is dealt with at Personnel below. In any case, the statement is incomplete: as other people co-produced certain tracks?
More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:46, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
- New track listing
- Provide full name of ASCAP, APRA, AMCOS, first time they're used.
- In the Writer(s) column provide the actual name of each, not the performance name(s) (this is probably a left over from AllMusic's usage?) If there is a disparity between two sources use the presiding authority i.e. APRA|AMCOS for Australasian writers and ASCAP for American ones.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:37, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Personnel
- Why are composers included? Haven't we got all these already in the previous section?
- How is "Technical" different from "Recording personnel"?
- Since Creative credits has only one entry, combine it with the rest.
- For each individual give real name not just performance alias(es). Wikilink any individual with an article. e.g. [[What So Not|Chris Emerson]] – ({{abbr|p.k.a.|performer known as}} What So Not, Emoh Instead)
- For individuals working on only a few tracks, specify. e.g. Daniel Johns – arrangement, melody arrangement, vocals (tracks 2, 8, 11)
- New personnel
- I don't see any credits at the ASCAP directory. Perhaps you should use the album's liner notes via a Template:Cite AV media notes? This may identify which tracks some performers were on.
- You haven't dealt with dot point four.
- Use Australian English.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:48, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Charts
- Replace this entry line: Australian Albums Chart with {{albumchart|Australia|14|artist=What So Not|album=Not All the Beautiful Things|accessdate=3 December 2018|rowheader=true}}
- Do similar for following entry.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:33, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
Criterion 2
editIt is verifiable with no original research:
- a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- b. all in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons:
- c. it contains no original research: ; and
- d. it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism: .
- References
I will be checking all the references and each comment below is under their number as they existed at [1]. The order in the article may change from this numbering as refs get moved, added or deleted. Newspapers, journals and other works are generally italicised but publishers are not. Use dmy dates for date, archive date and retrieved date. Every effort should be made to identify author(s). Any bare urls or dead urls should be fixed immediately. Where multiple tabs are placed, check their numerical order.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Fix title: italicise album/EP name. Note article refers to the artist as What So Not (and briefly as Emoh/Emoh Instead) but does not mention Emerson at all. Confirms nearby content.
- Fix title: use sentence case. Note article mostly refers to artist as Emoh but does mention Chris Emerson/Emerson and uses What So Not. Confirms content at first two usages: at 3rd usage try, "all works to a satisfying extent" as it is in the original.
- Fix title. Second usage misrepresents What So Not's actual statement: "The way I approached this album was by not putting any pressure on myself, at least in the onset, to have it done by a certain point,"
- I have trouble with the archived copy: it does not appear to be stable. I checked the original instead. At 2nd usage: does not give a year range, note: "for the past four years" means 2015 to 2018 inclusive. Other content is supported. Consider using WebCite for archive of the Forbes url (this is not compulsory).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Ref format okay, content supported.
- Fix title: sentence case & italicise album name. Content supported.
- Fix title: sentence case & italicise album name. Author name? I found Matt Torres. Content supported.
- to [11] Are four refs (including two from the same author!) necessary for this sentence? Pick the best one(s). Make sure they confirm the content.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:25, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Fix title. Content supported. Note: mentions being in the studio, in Nicaragua.
- Fix title. Supports content.
- Fix title. Supports content.
- Fix title. Supports direct quote. Final part of sentence, "it originated during a studio session in 2017 with producers Slumberjack" is not supported here. Ref [13] does not support claim that "Be Ok Again" began with Slumberjack jamming in a studio. This needs to be clarified.
- Fix title. Delink previously linked website. Exact date of video's release is not specified. Furthermore, the source suggests a change: produced with Australian film > co-directed with Australian film
- Fix title. Delink previous. Verifies features Buoy. Does not mention Jagwar Ma.
- Does not mention Jagwar Ma.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:34, 3 December 2018 (UTC) This needs to be verified.11:37, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Fix title. Ref may be redundant as is the sentence it verifies.
- Fix title. Delink previously used magazine. This ref tab is needed to address Jagwar Ma issues above: it confirms that you should be talking about Jono Ma (of Jagwar Ma) and not treat Jagwar Ma as a sole individual. The sentence just before the currently tab one needs clarification and a tab.
- Fix title, when cited or inside double quote marks: 'single name' uses single quote marks. Supports content.
- Fix title. Delink previous. Supports content.
- Fix title. Delink previous. Supports content.
- Fix title. Delink previous. Supports content.
- Supports content.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:37, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- Problem: url seems dead. Fix or find a new one.
- Try this (consider finding/creating an archiveurl). Also note: add in | author = staff writer to attribute the unnamed individual.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:17, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- Fix title. Name author. Adjust |website=[[Allmusic]] > |publisher=[[AllMusic]] Content at 'a', 'b' & 'c', verified. For usage 'd', AllMusic is not reliable for song writers (see above). A better source is required. Note: same source is used for credits at Personnel but why is a different ref tab supplied there?
- Fix title. Fix quote: use "capitalizing" not "capitalise" (when direct quoting you use the author's English). Note: "Opens with promise" refers only to first two tracks: the rest (ten tracks) is "predictable". This point is not clearly represented. Other content supported.
- Fix title. Fix ref Example text not Example text. Also fix its usage in main text.
- Content supported.
- Content at a is not verified: "peaked for two weeks on the ARIA Albums Chart at number 14," This is an incorrect representation of the source. Fix ref: this is not published by ARIA (although it is based on information supplied and approved by ARIA) and only gives top 50 positions on standard Albums (or Singles) charts. Whereas at b, "Australian Albums Chart" sounds too much like "ARIA Australian Artists Albums Chart", change this.
- Replace "his" with "What So Not's". Fix ref, use publisher=[[Australian Recording Industry Association]] (ARIA) instead of website. Author name? I find Ian Wallace.
- Fix title. Delink previous. Content verified. Note: other appearances on same chart for the artist is available at that source.
- Fix title. Content verified.
- See [27]
More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 21:07, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- New references
Another run through based on this version.
- refers to Emoh Instead/Emoh but the article does not mention this alias. Since the name is seen in other sources it should at least be acknowledged.
- Good work: I like this. Consider the following: "over the last couple of years, Emoh Instead has been carrying the majority of the What So Not touring on his own." The photo adjacent is suitable to highlight the formalisation of the amicable split.
- Done
- Done
- Fix accessdate: equal to or later than archivedate. Check other archive/access clashes, if any.
- Fix title, use from
- Done
- Fix title. The > the
- Fix title. ditto
- Fix title. ditto
- Wikilink |website=inthemix per |website=[[Junkee Media|inthemix]]
- Remove wikilink from already linked term(s) in the refs section
- Done
- Done
- Place wikilink on work
- Done
- Done
- Change website = Triple J > |publisher = [[Triple J]] ([[Australian Broadcasting Corporation]] (ABC))
- Done
- Adjst wikilink for work: remove here, but place it at ref [15] (first appearance in refs list)
- Done
- Done
- Done
- Delink previously linked
- Done
- Done
- Done
- Done
- Done
- Move AllMusic to publisher
- Done
- Done
- Done
- and [40] are same source. Try: <ref name="AUS Charts Alb">{{cite web | url = https://australian-charts.com/showitem.asp?interpret=What+So+Not&titel=Not+All+The+Beautiful+Things&cat=a | title = What So Not – ''Not All the Beautiful Things'' | work = Australian Charts Portal | publisher = Hung Medien | last = Hung | first = Steffen | accessdate = 18 April 2017 }}</ref>
- Done
- Fix title. Also add in Chart History
- Done
- Add | publisher = [[American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers]] (ASCAP) Remove website. I can't see how this ref is suitable for Personnel section.
- Try <ref name="APRA Warlord">{{cite web | publisher = [[Australasian Performing Right Association]] (APRA) | [[Australasian Mechanical Copyright Owners Society]] (AMCOS) | title = 'Warlord' at APRA search engine | url = http://apraamcos.com.au/search?searchtype=works&keywords=warlord | accessdate = 11 December 2018 }} Note: For additional work user may have to select 'Search again' and then 'Enter a title:' &/or 'Performer:'</ref> (Aside: check wikicode for correct display of separator line between (APRA) and [[Australasian, otherwise the ref won't work).
- See [34] above.
- Delink
- Done
- Done
- Done
Extra ref for ARIA Reports: <ref name="ARIA Report 1464">{{cite journal | date = 19 March 2018 | archiveurl = http://pandora.nla.gov.au/pan/23790/20180321-1343/Issue1464.pdf | title = Week Commencing ~ 19th March 2018 ~ Issue #1464 | last = Wallace | first = Ian | work = The ARIA Report | format = PDF | publisher = [[Australian Recording Industry Association]] (ARIA) | issue = 1464 | pages = 2, 5, 7, 10, 15–17 | url = http://www.aria.com.au/pages/documents/issue1464.pdf | archivedate = 24 November 2013 | accessdate = 11 December 2018 }}</ref> Note: if publisher has already been linked then delink here (and any subsequent).
Have fun.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:08, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
Criterion 3
editBroad in its coverage:
- a. it addresses the major aspects of the topic: ; and
- b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style): .
- A major aspect of an album is where it was recorded. Specific information of recording venues is missing. Another aspect is alternate formats/releases: no mention of 2× LP format, remixes version(s), record labels in other markets: Sweat It Out! is not mentioned in main text, Warner Music Australia (as distributor) does not appear at all.
- Staying focussed is a bigger problem. The worst section is Background and development where we're told the same basic information over and over again: the artist toured extensively, it took a long time to record, he collaborated with other artists. 7× ¶ and a quote box is overkill.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:36, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
Criterion 4
editNeutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each::
- What So Not, usually referred to as Emerson, is over-quoted (especially in Background and development).
- What do his collaborators say about working with him?
- Do we have tour review(s)?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:47, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
Criterion 5
editStable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- Acceptable at this criterion.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:54, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
Criterion 6
editIllustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
- a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: ; and
- b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: .
- Infobox image has an appropriate licence.
- It has no caption.
- The complete article has only that one image! Additional images, especially of the principal artist could be added.
- Consider the use of sound files for a range (say three) of its tracks. This is optional.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:14, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
Overall
editOverall:
- Pass/Fail:
@ANode: You have seven days to address any outstanding issues raised in this review. Have fun.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:14, 3 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Shaidar cuebiyar: Thank you for your very clear and consise article review. I'll attempt to settle all raised issues within the timeframe. aNode (discuss) 03:28, 4 December 2018 (UTC)
GA Review 2 comments
edit- For the lead, |studio is to be left empty since there are no sources which explicitly name the studios used to produce the album. The closest I have is Daniel John's home studio with a source mentioning it here, but I rather not put it into the text since it might count as original research. aNode (discuss) 01:01, 5 December 2018 (UTC) Preceding signature was added by shaidar cuebiyar.
- I've moved your comments here, as they are part of the review. Don't forget to sign them with ~~~~. For the | studio entry, you have sufficient for Daniel Johns home, [[Newcastle, New South Wales|Newcastle]]. Newstead (ref [13]) has: "...an invitation from Johns to work out of his Newcastle studio where he...". This is not original research as the location and owner are given in reliable sources. Similar can be supplied for other known locations.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:24, 5 December 2018 (UTC)03:36, 5 December 2018 (UTC)
- More studio info: see here where What So Not was in Nicaragua attending Neon Gold Records song writing workshops and also recorded there.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:59, 7 December 2018 (UTC)
- I think I'll leave the tour section where it is, not sure if it can be fit into the other sections. Also, I'll keep the recording personnel in the personnel section, it differs from technical credits in the sense that the former are involved in the actual studio recording of the album, while the latter is more involved in writing and creating an individual track. Referenced from [2]. aNode (discuss) 05:25, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- @ANode: Tour is a very short section (four sentences) and can be incorporated into the final ¶ of Background and development.
- Related question: Was the new touring rig (chrome horse etc) only used on the Australian leg of the tour?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 00:14, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- The ref states: "The tour will include What So Not’s newly launched custom touring rig, featuring a massive chrome horse and chariot setup.", so it can be assumed that the custom rig was used throughout the whole tour. I'll clarify the sentence. aNode (discuss) 07:20, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Perhaps place the sentence, on the chrome horse rig, before mentioning the Australian leg?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:10, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- The ref states: "The tour will include What So Not’s newly launched custom touring rig, featuring a massive chrome horse and chariot setup.", so it can be assumed that the custom rig was used throughout the whole tour. I'll clarify the sentence. aNode (discuss) 07:20, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Since What So Not is not a very famous artist, there are not too many open-sourced pictures available of him performing in the web. For now, I can only provide the album's cover pic, but I'll attempt to look around for any available pics and add them to the page as time passes. aNode (discuss) 06:02, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- You could use [[File:What So Not Wikipedia.png]], &/or upload this from Flickr Creative Commons.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 00:14, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Ooo, excellent find! Thanks for the share :) A note, the pic was published in 2014, thus it was before the album was ever produced. May not be the best fit, but I'll put it in regardless to show his face. aNode (discuss) 07:20, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- I have no problems with that. In fact its before Flume left. Aside: is Flume visible?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:10, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- (Answering own question). No, Flume did not perform live for What So Not for some time before the official split. See info above.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:35, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Ooo, excellent find! Thanks for the share :) A note, the pic was published in 2014, thus it was before the album was ever produced. May not be the best fit, but I'll put it in regardless to show his face. aNode (discuss) 07:20, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- You could use [[File:What So Not Wikipedia.png]], &/or upload this from Flickr Creative Commons.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 00:14, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Shaidar cuebiyar: I wanted to ask, what else can I add to the lead to make it more complete? I normally have the most trouble with this section, but I feel that I've included a summary of every section and paragraph into the text currently. aNode (discuss) 15:32, 8 December 2018 (UTC)
- Possible additions/changes for Lead:
- Genre/styles? Maybe something from "signature trap and future bass sound, while encompassing bass music, hip hop, dubstep, and house" with appropriate wikilinks. This reinforces summary in infobox.
- Move last sentence of ¶1 to ¶2. Reword to specify the nature of collaboration (song writing, production, performance or all of the above?)
- Provide an actual quote from one of the "generally positive reviews".
- (Month year) for the singles.
- Fix It charted in the United States and Australia, peaking at number eight and fourteen respectively. Specify and wikilink to the actual charts being described. Currently it is misleading and implies the US chart is Billboard 200 (not its component Dance/Electronic Albums chart).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 00:14, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Shaidar cuebiyar:, Alright I am more than 80% done with the GA edits (Criterion 3 and 4 left), but the work is more tedious than expected thus my working speed was a bit slow. If it's alright, may I have 2 more days to work on this article? Thanks! aNode (discuss) 16:28, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- @ANode: Take your two days. I'll check over the new stuff and give feedback.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:20, 9 December 2018 (UTC)
- Awesome, thanks mate! aNode (discuss) 02:59, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- A report of my progress, I've covered everything except for the commercial performance section. For criteria 4, I'm afraid that the only tour reviews I could find are from 2 student newspapers, thus unreliable. I couldn't find any comments from other collaborators about Emerson too, all statements in the sources seem to come from him only. I'll keep looking though. aNode (discuss) 05:46, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Possible additions/changes for Lead:
- Some additional sources:
Keep looking.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:13, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Don't forget to recheck the new comments per Criterion 1 up above. I'm going to have another look at the refs.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:10, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Will do! I've covered the commerical performance section and am generally done. Should I include the extra Aussie charts in the charts section? There's 4 more to be added I think. As for the two refs you've provided, I've seen Broadway World before and am reluctent to use it since it's very promotional in tone and not a very reliable source. The second source looks sketchy, but since it includes a quote by Johns I'll use it. aNode (discuss) 16:14, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- I'll go with your opinions here.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:35, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- I've also seen your comment to remove "records" from Counter Records, can I keep it in the rest of the text (outside the infobox) too? aNode (discuss) 16:16, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- Yeah, in the infobox you minimise visible content, in the same way for genre you have house instead of house music. The full Counter Records is allowed outside of it. Don't forget to add /Warner Music Australia in main text (to signify that it is the distributor).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:35, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Shaidar cuebiyar: Alrightyyy. As for Jono Ma's studio, I'm having trouble determining which studio is his. I've settled on Jagwar Ma's North Aussie's studio in Crescent Head [3], and Jono Ma's specific post processing studio in Sydney called Sonar [4]. Which one should I go for?
BTW, I've completed all the tasks, except for two things. 1) I'm not sure how to remove the Billboard hyperlink from ref 48 since its built into the template. 2) I have difficulty obtaining the album's liner notes for the personnel section, so I posted a link online asking for it (no promises actually getting it though). If needed, I can remove the section until I obtain the notes, then re-add it. aNode (discuss) 14:42, 11 December 2018 (UTC)- @ANode: Go for the Sonar one. Looks like we'll have to keep the Billboard linked. Keep the Personnel section, use the AllMusic Credits for the moment. Add in a cite AV notes template and fill it as best you can, the url can remain empty (until someone finds a usable on-line link).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:49, 11 December 2018 (UTC)
- Will do! I've covered the commerical performance section and am generally done. Should I include the extra Aussie charts in the charts section? There's 4 more to be added I think. As for the two refs you've provided, I've seen Broadway World before and am reluctent to use it since it's very promotional in tone and not a very reliable source. The second source looks sketchy, but since it includes a quote by Johns I'll use it. aNode (discuss) 16:14, 10 December 2018 (UTC)
- @Shaidar cuebiyar: Finally added Sonar and a hidden AV ref in, I think everything should be done by now. Do go through the whole article one more time to see if its finally ready for the GA status. :) aNode (discuss) 05:46, 12 December 2018 (UTC)
- @ANode: the article passes. Well done. I've enjoyed working with you.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:10, 12 December 2018 (UTC)
- Wow man, I'm really happy to hear that... Thanks for being so patient with the whole review and answering all my questions, it's definitely appreciated. I had a good time working with you too, hope we can meet up again in future projects! aNode (discuss) 07:20, 12 December 2018 (UTC)