Talk:Oathbreaker (Game of Thrones)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk · contribs) 09:57, 11 September 2016 (UTC)

• Grabbing this for a review shortly. Miyagawa (talk) 09:57, 11 September 2016 (UTC)

• Sorry, forgot I'd grabbed this already. Reviewing now:

• Beyond the Wall: Who played Howland Reed?
• "he killed him in the fight when the injured Howland Reed" - pop a comma in after "fight" otherwise how he actually killed him sounds like that was part of the explanation.
• In King's Landing: The description of the little birds - ""little birds" (street children who act as spies and messengers)" needs to be moved up a paragraph to the first mention of the ones under Varys.
• "re-animated Ser Gregor Clegane" - honestly unclear if in the TV show whether we refer to him as Clegane or as Robert Strong per the books.
• In Braavos: The Waif is first mentioned a sentence earlier - so move up the link and the actor mention/link.
• Does the Hound have an article to link to?
• Writing: The mention of the book references at the end of the first paragraph is uncited.

I can't find any sources, should I remove it or try to look harder? AffeL (talk) 14:40, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

• "In the "Inside the Episode" feature for the episode" - change the second "episode" to "Oathbreaker" to avoid the repetition.
• "co-creator and showrunner Weiss" - drop "co-creator" as you've said that in the previous paragraph.
• Casting: First paragraph is uncited.
• Filming: "As a result of a rock slide that occurred on the set of where Castle Black is staged, Magheramorne Quarry" swap out the comman with "at" since the set is at the Quarry rather than the Quarry is the actual set.
• Ratings: I'd throw the channels in. Mostly because then you'll have the broadcast on HBO cited for the appearance in the lead.
• Critical reception: Is there anything you could expand here? Just that there's 49 reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, but you've only used four sources here - and one of those is a single quote. I would say it needs a lot more - just another paragraph added of similar length to the second paragraph.
• Lead: Having read the article through, there's no identifiable part of it that is improved by the fair use image in the lead. Since they can't be used for illustration, it'll need to be dropped. You don't need it anyway, you've got a good couple of images already in the article and that one of the Castle of Zafra looks exactly how I remember the Tower of Joy from the episode. Heck, I doubt they did any CGI work to it at all. Just a shame about the crane appearing in the bottom left of the image.

Is there any other image I could upload?, like maybe something with the final scene. AffeL (talk) 14:40, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

Ok, that's the lot. You know the drill. Miyagawa (talk) 13:13, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

@Miyagawa: Except for those two i mentioned above. I have fixed everything else. AffeL (talk) 14:40, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

@AffeL: For the first one, I don't think you need to cite that those elements from the episode were in the books, only that those elements were in the books. The fact they were in the episode should be inherent from the plot (and therefore the episode itself). Regarding the image, there's nothing in the production section which lends itself to needing a screenshot, so I think you're just better off without it. Miyagawa (talk) 18:20, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

@Miyagawa: All done, and I removed the image. AffeL (talk) 18:51, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

• One further point from the lead - there's no much from the production section in there - just the mention of the writers/director. Could a couple of sentences be added just to summarise the main points from the overall section? Miyagawa (talk) 18:20, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

I added some thing from the production section in there. AffeL (talk) 19:02, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

Great, happy to promote. Miyagawa (talk) 21:53, 15 September 2016 (UTC)