Talk:Organic Cocoa Production and Export Cooperative
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A fact from Organic Cocoa Production and Export Cooperative appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 30 October 2024 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
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Did you know nomination
edit- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by JuniperChill talk 19:34, 22 October 2024 (UTC)
- ... that the largest chocolate factory in São Tomé and Príncipe cost over 464,000 euros to build?
- Source: Sebastião, Sita (21 July 2022). "São Tomé inaugura terceira fábrica de chocolate e vai apostar na exportação" [São Tomé opens third chocolate factory and will focus on exports]. Forbes África Lusófona (in European Portuguese). Retrieved 30 September 2024. English source: "São Tomé: New organic chocolate factory to put profits into local community". Macau Business. 21 July 2022. Retrieved 30 September 2024.
- ALT1: ... that the Organic Cocoa Production and Export Cooperative built a chocolate factory on São Tomé Island that cost over 464,000 euros? Source: Same as ALT0.
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Yuan Shikai coinage
- Comment: ALT1 is more direct with the article title.
Yue🌙 08:36, 30 September 2024 (UTC).
- Everything looks good in terms of meeting the criteria for DYK but the hooks are lackluster (€464,000 isn't that fascinating a sum for a major chocolate factory). I recommend you look to a different aspect of the topic for the hook. ~ Pbritti (talk) 03:41, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Pbritti: How about:
- ALT2: ... that in 2018 thieves stole 40 percent of the cocoa produced by the São Toméan Organic Cocoa Production and Export Cooperative?
- Source: Carlos, Maximino (23 May 2018). "São Tomé e Príncipe : Economia do cacau prejudicada" [São Tomé and Príncipe: Cocoa Economy Damaged]. Radio France Internationale (in Portuguese). Retrieved 30 September 2024.
- ALT3: ... that the São Toméan Organic Cocoa Production and Export Cooperative claims to represent 3,000 farmers from 42 smallholders' associations?
- Source: "Actividades e Realizações" [Activities and Achievements]. CECAB-STP. Organic Cocoa Production and Export Cooperative. Retrieved 30 September 2024.
- Yue🌙 04:51, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- New hooks are solid. Good to go! ~ Pbritti (talk) 16:08, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Pbritti: How about:
Random factoid
editThe article had a paragraph reading, in its entirety:
- In May 2018, CECAB President Aureliano Pires stated that the cooperative's losses from cocoa theft had reached 40 per cent of total production.
I tagged this one-sentence paragraph with a "discuss" tag and noted that "this apparently random factoid needs discussion". I termed it "apparently random" because it had no thematic connection with the prior or following paragraphs. All I called for was discussion of the assertion: background, more depth, etc.
@Yue reverted, asking "Which policy does it violate and where's the discussion on the talk page? A cocoa producer lost a significant amount of cocoa in a particular year—you consider that trivial?"
I made and make no claim that a written Wikipedia policy was violated, just an English composition rule that writing should have a theme and an organization, and not be simply an unorganized collection of facts. I did not expostulate on what a proper paragraph is (a collection of sentences on a common theme, built around a topic sentence and either building to the topic sentence or expostulating on it); it should be known.[1] Nor do I or did I claim that the cocoa loss was trivial. It's just that the paragraph is unmoored from the rest of the article. It would appear that @Yue took this criticism to heart, adding another sentence to the paragraph and giving the lone sentence a bit of background. It could use some more, but that's a start. JingleJim (talk) 01:14, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
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