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"Meanwhile, the Roman general and triumvir Marcus Licinius Crassus had made an attempt to extend his share of Roman territory by eastward conquest, and in the event had been decisively defeated and killed in 53 BC, in the Battle of Carrhae, along with his son and with the loss of most of his army, by Orodes' general Surena." Woah there... that's a lot for one sentence.
"Then, the next year they invaded Syria, but with little success, for Surena, whose achievements had made him too dangerous, was killed by Orodes, and Pacorus I, the son and heir of the king was defeated by Cassius in 51 BC." Could this be split as well? It just isn't reading right for me.
"he had either died of grief due to Pacorus' death, or of old age" remove had, remove the comma, and change the age thing to "or as a result of old age".
