Talk:Otokonoko Zuma/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Mujinga in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 19:16, 31 March 2022 (UTC)Reply

Review

edit
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed
  • earwig copvio check is 0% (but then all sources are in japanese)
  • pic has an adequate free use rationale and is relevant
  • sources appear reliable and article is neutral and stable, no original research

Comments on prose

edit
  • "Premise" could be titled synopsis or plot, then split out from that the themes into its own section. then the references could be in themes - what do you think? I can see you have several GAs in this area already
  • Chapter 1–14 = Chapters 1-14
  • "Nico Nico News described him as attractive and full of what makes otokonoko characters charming, with the contrast between his gender and his appearance,[10] and NLab appreciated how characters respect Yuki's gender and treat him as a man regardless of his femininity and how he is the wife.[3]" - too many "and"s, suggest breaking sentence up
  • What is NLab for those who don't know? A magazine, a website?
  • Shogakukan is a company so "its" not "their"
  • " volumes in 2017–2020" suggest "volumes between 2017 and 2020."

Overall

edit

Overall this article seems pretty good but lacking some structure per Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Anime_and_manga and as opposed to other manga good articles such as Classmates (manga), Samurai Champloo and Cobra (manga). For example, these all have a section on characters which would be very useful here since the volume synopses are otherwise quite confusing for me eg i wondered who is Kido on first mention. Perhaps a theme section would be helpful as mentioned above.

That's all I got on a first sweep. I'll put the review on hold Mujinga (talk) 19:35, 31 March 2022 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.