Talk:Otro Día Más Sin Verte/GA1

Latest comment: 9 years ago by AJona1992 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:21, 5 July 2015 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • I'm curious about the translation, it looks like a literal one, whereas the English song itself was translated as "Just another day without you", worth mentioning I think.
  • I am not a Spanish speaking person so I asked one of my friends here on Wikipedia who gave me the literal translation. There are no sources out there for the translation of the album title. jona(talk) 21:32, 7 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • " who got the idea" clunky and unencyclopedic, particularly as you already said "The idea to..." earlier on. Rephrase.
  • "market potential" quote needs reference.
  • "becoming the first Latin artist to do so" no, something like "making Secada the first Latin artist to achieve the feat".
  • "Secada became the first Hispanic artist of color to have a number one song on the Hot Latin Tracks chart." shouldn't this fact come when you first talk about number ones on the Latin Tracks chart?
  • "was the backup vocalist for" she only had one? Or do you mean "was a backup vocalist"?
  • "Secada became close friends with Gloria..." -> "He became...
  • "The recording made up of" ->" The recording was made up of" or perhaps "The recording comprised"
  • "According to Secada written in his autobiography," -> "According to Secada, writing in his autobiography,"
  • "and wanted him to be a crossover" replace him with Secada for certainty.
  • "Emilio met up with the" no need for "up with".
  • "recognized the market potential" needs direct ref.
  • " Behar requested Secada to record his first Spanish-language album to the head of EMI Records, Charles Koppelman, who accepted the proposal" -> "Behar suggested to the head of EMI Records, Charles Koppelman, that Secada should record his first Spanish-language album; Koppelman accepted the proposal." Or similar.
  • "be comfortably fine with" -> "be comfortable with"
  • "She also told them " who is "them", do you mean "him"?
  • "The album peaked at number four..." -> "Otro Día Más Sin Verte peaked at number four" to be sure which album you're referring to.
  • "John Lannert of Billboard called "Angel" a "dramatic love ode",..." shouldn't this be after the description of "Angel", not "Cree En Nuestro Amor"?
  • "as rock ballads " no need for "as".
  • "Chuck Taylor of Billboard called Secada's new Spanish offerings as "tailored, uptempo Latin vibe."[17]" bad grammar, maybe "Chuck Taylor of Billboard called Secada's new Spanish offerings as having a "tailored, uptempo Latin vibe."[17]"
  • "Seada became " typo.
  • Weekly charts sorting messes up - suggest you just make it unsortable.

Quite a few issues, mainly in the prose, so I'll place on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:56, 5 July 2015 (UTC)Reply

@The Rambling Man: I have fix most issues you found. Thanks for the review, jona(talk) 21:32, 7 July 2015 (UTC)Reply
Nearly there. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:24, 8 July 2015 (UTC)Reply

Ok, I made a couple of format tweaks, but I'm happy this is GA quality, so passing. Good work. The Rambling Man (talk) 20:40, 8 July 2015 (UTC)Reply

Thank you =) jona(talk) 20:41, 8 July 2015 (UTC)Reply