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Talk:Overdrive (Shonen Knife album)/GA1

< Talk:Overdrive (Shonen Knife album)
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Carbrera in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 8 years ago41 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 23:03, 21 June 2016 (UTC)Reply


Infobox

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Lead

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Paragraph 1

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  • Please remove the link to "studio album"
    Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "It was released in 2014 on April 14 (U.K. and Europe), April 15 (North America), April 16 (Japan), and April 18 (Australia and New Zealand)." --> "It was released on April 14, 2014 in Europe, and on April 16, 2014 in Japan." (This is better because you should always list the first release date, followed by the release date of the group's respective country, if the date is separate of course.)
    Good point! Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • ", inspired by bands like Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Bad Company, Deep Purple, Judas Priest, Boston, ZZ Top, and The Doobie Brothers." --> Unnecessary and overly long; please remove
    Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Lyrical topics for this album include green tea, fortune cookies, tennis, and cats." --> "The album's lyrics cover a wide array of topics, from green tea, fortune cookies, and cats."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Now, please link "Green tea", "fortune cookies", and "cats" to their respective articles
    I did the first two, but isn't linking to 'cat' kind of bordering on WP:OVERLINK?

Paragraph 2

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  • "who is also known as "Solmania"" --> Too trivial; please remove
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "...there different color variations were released, with each corresponding to Japan, North America, or U.K./Europe.[1]" --> "...three different color variations were released, with each corresponding to either Japan, North America, or Europe.[1]"
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "The album received moderately positive reviews from critics. Many applauded the band's dabbling in more harder rock, whereas others were critical of the album's musical and lyrical simplicity." --> "The album received moderately positive reviews from critics, with many applauding the band's dabbling in more harder rock, whereas others were critical of its musical and lyrical simplicity."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply

Production

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Paragraph 1

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  • "While Shonen Knife's usual sound is Ramones-inspired pop punk, for Overdrive, the band branched out musically and listened to harder rock bands—such as..." --> "While Shonen Knife's usual sound is Ramones-inspired pop punk, the band branched out musically and listened to harder rock bands for Overdrive, such as..."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "I Am Tuned Up has described the album's sound as a combination of "edgy guitar riffs with psychedelic 70s-esque enchanting nostalgia."[3]" --> "IAmTunedUp.com described the album's sound as a combination of "edgy guitar riffs with psychedelic 70s-esque enchanting nostalgia".[3]" (Period after quote and removal of "has'.)
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Naoko Yamano reasoned that, because that Free Time (2010) was heavily influenced by punk rock, and Pop Tune (2012) explored a more pop-oriented sound, Overdrive represented an opportunity for the band to explore harder rock." --> No source
    It's the source for the following sentence (both lines are derived from sections of the interview). Yamano says, "Our previous albums, “Free Time” is a punk album, “Pop Tune” is a pop album. And now it’s time for 70’s rock."--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Naoko Yamano reasoned that, because that Free Time (2010) was heavily influenced by punk rock, and Pop Tune (2012) explored a more pop-oriented sound, Overdrive represented an opportunity for the band to explore harder rock." --> "Naoko Yamano reasoned that because Free Time (2010) was heavily influenced by punk rock, and Pop Tune (2012) explored a more pop-oriented sound, Overdrive represented an opportunity for the band to explore harder rock."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "In fact, the album's name is a reference to the overdrive pedal, which, in Yamano's mind, conjured up images of 1970s rock music.[3]" --> "Because of the band's exploration, the album's name references the overdrive pedal, which, in Yamano's mind, conjured up images of 1970s rock music.[3]"
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply

Paragraph 2

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  • Photo caption: "All of the song's lyrics were written by Naoko Yamano." --> "All of the song's lyrics were written by band member Naoko Yamano."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "until we book recording studio..." --> Grammatically incorrect; is this how the actual quote appears in the interview?
    That's what the quote says. I added [sic] to cover it.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "The first song was inspired by Yamano fondness for eating a fortune cookie after a meal of Chinese food in America; after learning that the cookies were actually invented in Japan, Yamano decided to pen the song." --> No source
    <ref name=vice/> covers that whole section.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "The first song was inspired by Yamano fondness for eating a fortune cookie after a meal of Chinese food in America; after learning that the cookies were actually invented in Japan, Yamano decided to pen the song." --> Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, so this statement is false
    The modern cookie was first served in California, but the origin of the cookie dates back to a tradition in Kyoto. Should I put something like "the cookie's predecessor"?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply

Paragraph 3

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  • "Other lyrical themes include tennis ("Jet Shot") and cats ("Like a Cat")." --> No source
    <ref name=vice/> in the middle of the paragraph covers that.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Other lyrical themes include tennis ("Jet Shot") and cats ("Like a Cat")." --> "Other lyrical themes include on the album include tennis in "Jet Shot", and cats in "Like a Cat"."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Regarding the former, Yamano expressed in an interview that she had always wanted to write a song about tennis, but felt that, being a sport, it did not fit well with the style of the band's music. However, while watching a tennis match featuring Kei Nishikori on television, the announced called a move he had made a "great jet shot".[4]" --> "Regarding the former, Yamano expressed in an interview that she had always wanted to write a song about tennis, but felt that, being a sport, it did not fit well with the style of the band's music; however, while watching a tennis match featuring Kei Nishikori on television, the announced called a move he had made a "great jet shot".[4]"
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply

Critical reception

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  • "NME awarded the album a 7 out of 10..." --> "NME awarded the album 7 out of 10 stars..."
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • Please italicize "NME"
    Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "Houle, however, was critical of the band's penchant for bordering closely on copying other artists' music; he argued that "Bad Luck Song" and "Black Crow" are strikingly similar to Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back in Town" and Kiss's "Black Diamond", respectively. With that being said, he felt that "the album gets better as it goes along".[8]" --> "Houle, however, was critical of the band's penchant for bordering closely on copying other artists' music; he argued that "Bad Luck Song" and "Black Crow" are strikingly similar to Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back in Town" and Kiss's "Black Diamond", respectively, but felt that "the album gets better as it goes along".[8]"
    Changed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply

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End of GA Review:

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I felt this album's article needed a copyedit, so I performed one while reading it. After these changes, I believe it will pass the GA–review process. Great work and please contact me here (@PING me) with any questions, comments, or concerns. Thanks and good luck! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 02:54, 23 June 2016 (UTC).Reply

@Carbrera: I have a handful of questions, but other than that, I believe I fixed all the issues that you pointed out. How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:39, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
@Gen. Quon: I believe I answered everything. Lemme know if you need anything else before passing. Carbrera (talk) 19:47, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
@Carbrera: OK, that all makes sense. Is there anything left to do?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 20:24, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
@Carbrera: Nope! Ready to pass, thanks for being so cooperative! Carbrera (talk) 20:31, 23 June 2016 (UTC)Reply
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