Talk:Paddy Morgan/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:38, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- I would move the "born in Belfast" to become the start of the second sentence in the lead, and adjust the current second sentence to accommodate that.
- You link Belfast and not Coventry?
- "world open billiards championship" why isn't this capitalised, like all the other similar tournament names?
- "2,404–3,0555" probably one too many 5's in there...
- "at the world cup of snooker each year from 1979 World Challenge Cup to 1982" reads odd, did you mean to pipe the 1979? An why isn't it "World Cup"?
- "His professional career ended with" maybe "He made his final professional appearance in..." because this could be misconstrued that he'd won it.
- "the junior snooker championship" which one?
- Amended the article per the points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- "He represented Ireland..." I wasn't aware that these tournaments for individuals meant players "represented" a country?
:*Pending. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- It was a bit different to the professional tournaments. According to Morrison's Encyclopedia of Snooker (Revised edition, p.159), "The host nation used to be responsible for stating how many representatives (one or two) from each country may take part", with the host nation and the nation of the defending champion both allowed one additional representative each, a system that was changing for the 1986 tournament. There are othere sources that are in line with the current wording (IMO) too: Belfast Telegraph, 3 September 1968: "Pat [Morgan], who is representing Eire in the championships"; Liverpool Echo, 1 October 1966 p.19 "John Spencer ... will represent England in the world amateur snooker championship"; Newcastle Evening Chronicle, 5 November 1963 p.12) "Owen ... will represent England in the first ever World Amateur Snooker Championship". I'm not strongly opposed to rewording. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:40, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- No, I think it was just news to me, I'm not suggesting we change the facts of the matter. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:29, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- Although sources talk about players representing a country (or in, some cases, representing a national billiards and snooker association), they show participants and winners in the form "David Taylor (England)" not "England (David Taylor)". As mentioned already I'm happy to reword. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 08:43, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
- "lost 3-8 to" en-dash.
- Satish Mohan not notable enough for a red link?
- "2,404–3,0555" again.
- "defeated 1972 World Snooker Champion Alex Higgins in" no need to capitalise Champion.
- And link Higgins, first mention since the lead.
- "Centre, Blacktown by winning" comma after Blacktown and certainly worth noting where that is on the planet.
- "next 7 frames" seven.
- "lost 6-15" en-dash.
- "his quarter final and" consistent hyphenation for these rounds.
- "New South Wales to" comma after Wales.
- "snooker's world championship" could put snooker's inside the pipe.
- Amended the article per the 11 points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- "equalize" which variant of English is being used in this article?
*Pending. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)- I've gone for Australian English as he was perhaps best-known globally when Australian. Had a look through the Australian English page and I couldn't see any other changes needed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 08:43, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
- "led 7-5 and later 13-11" en-dashes.
- "He exited from the" "from" is superfluous.
- "eventual champion Fred Davis in the " link the first time.
- "competition, he lost" new section so "Morgan lost".
- "What turned out to be " bit chatty/colloquial.
- "billiards championship quarter" official tournament title??
- "1,021-639" en-dash.
- Amended the article per the 7 points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- "having moved back to Australia" well how long was he back in the UK? Less than a year??
:*Pending. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- I couldn't find anything more specific in sources than "a couple of years ago" in Ireland's Saturday Night for 7 December 1986. Looks like for 1984–85 he entered a few UK-based tournaments but withdrew from everything except the World Championship, so it seems likely that he returned to Australia fairly soon after the 1984 World Championship. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 09:53, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
- "the Snooker world rankings 1976/1977, the" no need for capital S.
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- Not sure how ref 47 backs up "until at least 1997" as it appears to have a publication year of 1986?
- I've unbundled the references. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- Why all the blank cells in the tables? Would be better to say "unknown" or something, nature abhors a vacuum.
:*Pending. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- Added some billiards scores; removed the column from snooker as I couldn't find any further info. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:40, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- You should be consistent with the linking, all opponents in the tables are linked, but that's not the case when you mention them in the prose.
- Looks like the sortname automatically links them, so I added redlinks in the prose. Shelley may be notable (link), but I don't know about the others. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- If memory serves, you can get the sortname template to unlink them if you believe they're not notable? The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 17:38, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- I've learnt something. Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 09:53, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
- Normally I'd expect ISBNs to be consistently formatted.
- No billiards categories for this guy?
- Added two. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:32, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
That's about it on a first quick review. On hold. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 16:29, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
- Many thanks, The Rambling Man. I've replied to everything above. Let me know if anythign else is required. Regards, 09:53, 2 May 2022 (UTC)