Talk:Pakistan Idol/GA1
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Mediran (talk · contribs) 07:37, 31 December 2013 (UTC)
I will review this. BTW, to stall, there is a disambig link present in the article, please fix that. Also, most of the sections is poorly or not sourced, please add to it, otherwise I may quick-fail this. Please also watch the reference section as the date format is inconsistent. Thanks. Mediran (t • c) 07:37, 31 December 2013 (UTC)
Review
editFirst, thanks Arunreginald, Smsarmad and Umais Bin Sajjad for working on the article since I posted here. BTW, here's the review. Also, For everything here, your short response is welcome.
- Infobox
- Fix unnecessary caps in "Interactive Talent Show". It's all common.
- No need for a zero in "01" and "08".
- Use en dash (–; w/o space) in "54 - 105 minutes"
- What makes Survivor Pakistan and Kya Aap Banaingay Crorepati? related to this show? If it is irrelevant, please remove it.
Done Fixed above mentioned issues. UBStalk 04:46, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Lead
- Italicize "Idols" in "part of the Idols franchise".
- I think you forgot to add a space in "British seriesPop Idol".
- Done Italicized and spaced. UBStalk 04:48, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- History
- "...inspired by Popstars, TV Show..." was it me or the comma there should be a period?
- You have to provide a source about "(which at the time was already in use in shows such as the Eurovision Song Contest)".
- "...and was a big success with the viewing public." Please verify this with a reliable source.
- You have to introduce what is "Geo Television" first for those unfamiliar.
- What is "Junoon"?
- Was it really anthem because it is like referring to a national anthem or to "a specific form of Anglican church music". Please rewrite it or replace it with "theme music".
- Done All the issues fixed. UBStalk 15:53, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Judges and hosts
- Please link the names to their respective articles (this is not overlinking).
- Are there available images of these personalities at Commons? If there are any, please add them to the article.
- Done All linked. UBStalk 05:00, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Selection process
- Great writing but where are the sources? This section may constitute WP:OR. You can add source from an episode or news release.
- Most sentences in this section are resembling to that of the American version article. I think this should be rewritten.
- Please rewrite "fifteen to 30 years old" to either 15 to 30..." or "fifteen to thirty..." It should be consistent.
- "like Original series procedure, Pakistan Idol..." What do you mean by this? Please rewrite it.
- "via sms subscription lines open for audience." "sms" → "SMS"
- en dash "12-13 contestant..."
- Is the "Idol Stage" referring to "The American Idol Experience"? Fix this if not.
- "For a 8-hour period". "a" to "an".
- "PK time zone". Fix this and link it.
- Change "Semi - Finals" to "Semi-finals".
- Add a "the" in "At grand finale"
- "the First and second runner..." Capitalize the "t" in "the" and uncap the "F" in "First".
- Please fix this section as you can to improve it.
- Done All done!! UBStalk 15:34, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Series overview and season synopsis
- Again, most of the statements are unsourced. For example, the show has just broadcast eight episodes and I think is far from the finals but why is "The season reaches its climax in a two-hour results finale show where the winner of the season is revealed" stated here. What if this version of the Idol exceeds the "two-hour" show or become less? I may be talking nonsense (as it is known that it is two hours) but a source will make this acceptable.
- Provide a source to this: "The show broadcast its first episode on 6 December 2013, and is airing its auditions. The auditions in the first two cities which have been broadcast show tremendous reception and great public interest. In the Lahore audition people arrived in large numbers and the production team had to extend the date of auditions for two more days, similarly in Karachi and Islamabad."
- Also, what is meant by the "first two cities"? What are those "first two cities"?
- Done Information re-arranged and sourced. UBStalk 15:53, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Geographical, ethnic, and gender bias
- Is this section really necessary? If not, remove it.
- Did the management or production say that the show "offers no racism"? If not, remove the section.
- Also, "cities and those people who haven't any medium" Please avoid contractions.
- Done Section removed. UBStalk 10:07, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Controversy
- So what is about the Indian nationals? You should say that they are "under-cover agents" as the source confirms.
- "on the 16th November to participate". Please Change "the 16th November" to "16 November"
- Link "visas".
- Italicize "Pakistan Idol" in "Pakistan Idol becomes..."
- Rewrite "Pakistan Idol becomes household identity and gets lionized, Show has been already reprobate and animadvert on regarding to its copyrights and authentication from original production authorities because of first kind of such platform ever enters in Pakistan at such level." The "gets lionized, Show has" phrase there is vague. Etc.
- Unlink "Geo TV".
- "content, they claimed that, the songs which are owned by Saray Gama are used on the websites of Clear Shampoo, Q Mobile, Pepsi and Mobilink for which they had no legal rights. Further more, the notice they issued demands response in 48 hours and said that Saray Gama’s authorised representative in Pakistan is Digital Entertainment World who can be approached for requisite licence. Source and media haven't any approach to Geo TV about this notice as Channel itself is unable to give any response." This should start with "They claimed that the..." and the "which are owned by Saray Gama" should be enclosed be commas.
- Done Re-written and other issues fixed. UBStalk 10:05, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- Critical reception
- Again, this section has few sources and is some what a WP:OR. For example the statement "In people views and young generation it is such platforms can help them to achieve their dreams but due to the lack of such opportunities and stage they couldn't reach their goal with ease, that's why people are admiring for this effort of Geo." This should be written in WP:NPOV and please avoid contractions.
- Rewrite "Upon announcing the audition of Pakistan Idols, across the country, 30, 000 plus people per city went out for audition in different cities, the show receives immense critical acclaim before on-airing its broadcasting." Maybe it could be "Upon the announcement of the auditions in each cities, more than 30,000..." Also fix on where the sentence should end. For example, "cities, the show receives immense critical acclaim before on-airing its broadcasting." This should be another sentence like "The show receives immense critical acclaim before on-airing its broadcasting." Of course, this statement is needing citation. And is the article accurate in saying that over 30,000 people participated in the auditions, while the statement is not supported by a source?
- This "The Pakistani social media criticized the show with a petition seeking apology from the show's administration for humiliating attitude of the judges towards the contestants." sentence is interesting. I think this should be expanded.
- Done Section compressed by removing irrelevant, unreferenced content.
- Revenue and commercial ventures
- Source them.
- "partners for the reality show". "for" → "of".
- Done Sourced & fixed grammar mistake. UBStalk 08:30, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- References
- Ref 2: Italicize "The News International"
- Ref 3: Same as the issue in ref 2
- Ref 5: Italicize "Dawn" and add the publisher as "Dawn Group of Newspapers"
- Ref 10: Same as the issue in ref 5
- Ref 12: Italicize "The Times of India" and add "The Times Group" as the publisher.
- Ref 13: Same as the issue in ref 2
- Ref 17: Italicize "The Daily Telegraph"
- Ref 19: Italicize "Pakistan Tribune"
- Ref 20: Provide the publisher, author and date of work (if available).
- Ref 21: Change " fashion central" to "Fashion Central"
- Ref 22: Same as the issue in ref 20
- Ref 26: Italicize "The Express Tribune"
- Ref 27: Italicize "Pakistan Times"
- Done All issues with references fixed.
- External links
- Italicize all the "Pakistan Idol".
- Done External links Italicized. UBStalk 05:00, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
For now, this is my review. I know you can do it and pass this article to GA status. I'm putting this article on hold for 7 days. If the issues are not fixed by that time, I'm afraid but I have no choice but to fail it. Thanks. Mediran (t • c) 03:25, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
The article also needs ratings data. How many households do you think viewed the premiere or a regular episode? Do you have any available sources about this? Thanks. Mediran (t • c) 09:52, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
User:Mediran, First of all I thank you for your co-operation/contribution to Pakistan Idol. According to your above mentioned review I tried my best along with other editor fellows to fix issues and improve the article. Please take a look & review it again so that we can sought it out further. Thanks! UBStalk 15:58, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
Part II
editThis is actually not part II but I want a new section so here it is. BTW, the article is better now. My only problem on passing it is the "Selection process", "Series overview and season synopsis", and "Reception" sections because they are too short and some are lacing sources. Please add statements mentioned in the lead to the body.
- Selection process
- Great but all it needs are sources. I know WP:COMMONSENSE may apply here but it really needs verification. Its subsections also need expansion. The problem is that the show has only broadcast 8 episodes and we can only expand (eg the "Finals" section) when the final show premiered. I'm still thinking about this. But you can improve this.
- Series overview and season synopsis
- Just like what is above, this section is too short and the show has only one season. The "series overview" itself is not an overview because there is currently only one season. A series of 41 episodes are planned for the first season with special behind-the-scenes episodes which will be aired during the finals week, which is mentioned in the lead, should be added here. BTW, let's say that the show has been completed and will only have a season, I would recommend you to look the format of the article Philippine Idol, w/c is a GA.
- Reception
- This section is OK. However, the criticism of the humiliating attitudes of the judges should be expanded because this is something worth learning or knowing. Also, the article needs info about the show's ratings. Please add this. I have this Nearly 50,000 hopefuls attended initial auditions held across the country from conservative Peshawar to the cultural capital, Lahore. "We've seen everything from a street sweeper in Multan to the son of a landowner and politician in Faisalabad," said Mr. Mujeeb. This I think is a good addition to somewhere (if you agree).
I may ask second opinion in reviewing this if the issues are not yet resolved in time. Thanks. Mediran (t • c) 04:33, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
- References
- What makes these sources WP:RELIABLE? Mediran (t • c) 08:15, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
- http://myipedia.blogspot.com/2013/10/clear-last-chance-auditions-for.html
- http://myipedia.blogspot.com/2013/12/qmobile-e95-for-pakistan-idol-tvc-2013.html
- http://saudramzan.blogspot.com/2013/11/pakistan-idol-got-recieve-10000-entries.html
- http://www.pakimag.com/music/pakistan-idol-karachi-auditions.html
- http://thegigaweb.com/2013/10/mobilink-introduces-mobile-auditions-increase-outreach-pakistan-idol/
- http://aarpix.com/9765/pepsi-brings-memories-back-with-its-pakistanidol-tvc
- I think these sources contain self-published content, not involved in copy-cat text. That's why make them reliable. Is it must that a source should be like from official sites or some newspaper site? UBStalk 04:10, 6 January 2014 (UTC)
- Final thoughts
Finally, here I am concluding this review that I opened last December 31. It is almost a month and I'm proud of the improvements since. However, there are still more issues to be resolved and I think those weren't sorted out given that there was weeks available to work this. Regarding th sources, some are actually unacceptable. I enumerated some (above) and they are still not removed. Those sources are WP:SPS. There is also the unsourced statements. I'm doubting the use of File:Pakistan Idol - Judges & Host.jpg because it seems non-free yet it is tagged "Own work". I don't know if the uploader (UBS) took those photos of the judges and hosts. That is rather questionable. I will fail this for you to have more time to address and fix the issues. Mediran (t • c) 08:05, 25 January 2014 (UTC)
