Talk:Panzer Dragoon Saga/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AdrianGamer (talk · contribs) 08:35, 3 February 2016 (UTC)

• developed by the Sega studio Team Andromeda. - rephrase it to "developed by Team Andromeda, published by Sega"

 Not done But don't we need to make it clear that Team Andromeda was part of Sega? This was developed by Sega, not just published by Sega. I've added the information that Sega was the publisher, though. Popcornduff (talk) 08:47, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• traditional RPG elements with elements from the previous games - unclear, what are the "elements from previous games". The lead as it stands now is not long enough so more information can be added to it. use "role-playing" instead of RPG

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 08:47, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• after which Sega disbanded Team Andromeda. Several staff joined Sega's Smilebit studio and went on to develop the final game in the series, Panzer Dragoon Orta, released for Xbox in 2002. - This should become the last paragraph of the lead. More information regarding the actual game's development would be great as well.

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 08:47, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• In 2007, 1UP described Panzer Dragoon Saga as "the greatest RPG you've never played. - unnecessary. You have mentioned it before already

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 14:11, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• The screenshot in the story section does not have a strong fair use rationale. I suggest you to remove it.

I added the screenshot because I've seen other GA articles using screenshots in story sections; for example, the Metal Gear Solid article. Do you think such screenshots are unjustified? If you feel this strongly, then I'll accept it and remove it. Just checking first. Popcornduff (talk) 07:06, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• The gameplay section should be the first section, followed by the story section.

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 08:47, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• Paragraphs are too short in both the gameplay/development section. Try to expand them.

 Done - gameplay section Popcornduff (talk) 05:35, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

 Done - development section Popcornduff (talk) 05:50, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

OK, I just stumbled on this, which seems to be a translated interview from the Japanese strategy guide: http://shmuplations.com/panzerdragoonsaga/ It looks like a great resource, except I'm not sure it cuts it as a reliable source. What do you think? Popcornduff (talk) 14:22, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• GameSpot described it as an "innovative hybrid" of RPG elements and elements from the previous Panzer Dragoon games. - Simply turn it to something similar to "It mixed both elements from RPG elements and elements from the previous games in the series together". What are these elements?

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 05:35, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• A targeting reticle is used to interact with interactive elements such as non-player characters and objects - simply "elements" is enough. What kinds of interactions are there?

 Not done Can't find any sources describing the types of interaction in detail, which kind of suggests it's maybe not important? Popcornduff (talk) 14:11, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• with three gauges that charge in real time. - What are these gauges?

 Done - I hope I've explained how the gauges work sufficiently. If I haven't, I've no idea how to expand it more. Popcornduff (talk) 05:35, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• [1] This may be useful for the development section.

 Done Thanks - I've incorporated some extra information from this source. Popcornduff (talk) 05:35, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• Saga was the hardest Panzer Dragoon game to make. I had no idea it would be so challenging. Making areas in full 3D with free movement and full voice - that sort of thing didn't really exist then. We had to figure out how to integrate the shooting elements into a different sort of game - Should be paraphrased.

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 10:27, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• designed by Katsumi Yokota, and have the story "mean something" - Does the source mention how, or what kind of story it actually is?

Not really - this is a bit of a vague claim from the director. I've rewritten it to hopefully make it a bit less woolly. Popcornduff (talk) 07:10, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• Unlike the original Panzer Dragoon (1995) soundtrack, which was orchestral, Panzer Dragoon Saga's music is mostly generated via PCM by the Saturn’s sound hardware, as with Zwei - don't use short form "PCM". Don't need to compare this game to the first one actually. Only comparisons with Zwei is necessary.

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 08:47, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• The reception section is made up only of quotes. All of them should be paraphrased.

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 06:57, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• You should use Template:video game reviews

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 13:14, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

• It is too short as well. I believed that most reviews you can found in GameRankings can be used.

 Done

 Done Extra reviews added. Popcornduff (talk) 14:11, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

• No mention of Panzer Dragoon Orta?

It's mentioned in the lead and the development sections... 'Futatsugi left Sega and joined Konami,[1] while other staff moved to Sega teams including Smilebit, which went on to develop the final Panzer Dragoon game, Panzer Dragoon Orta (2002), for Xbox.' Popcornduff (talk) 08:47, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

This should be moved to the legacy section (after the game's development)

 Done Popcornduff (talk) 14:11, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

It is a well-written article, but I am worried that there may not be enough content. Paragraphs are too short, and the reception section needs a complete rewrite. Lead should be expanded as well. I appreciated the efforts you put into the article. It is reaching the GA status, but there is still a lot of room for improvement. AdrianGamer (talk) 06:14, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for this thorough review. I'll spend a few days reviewing your comments and seeing what I can improve. Popcornduff (talk) 10:24, 6 February 2016 (UTC)

OK, I've tried to address your concerns as best I can. Let me know what you think. Popcornduff (talk) 14:11, 8 February 2016 (UTC)

The screenshot shouldn't stay. Showing me the face of a character isn't of vital importance, or help help readers to understand the game more. AdrianGamer (talk) 01:22, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

OK! It's gone now. Popcornduff (talk) 04:13, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

The article looks great now. The lead can be slightly longer but in its current shape it will not stop this from promoting. Panzer Dragoon Saga is now a . Congratulations! AdrianGamer (talk) 05:48, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for your hard work! Based on your extra feedback I've added some more gameplay information to the lead. Popcornduff (talk) 07:12, 10 February 2016 (UTC)