Talk:Parischnogaster striatula

This article was really well written and contained a very broad range of information. I deleted the link to P. alternata since the link was non-existent, as it showed up in red. In the general overview section, the article mentioned two facts that were unique to Parischnogaster striatula; however, I think to make it more strong connected to where it is mentioned again, it may be better to use the same wording when discussing the glandular secretion. I also agree with the previous editor, the colony cycle section may benefit with additional information. Yangjennyh (talk) 16:05, 19 October 2014 (UTC)

Consider the following changes

• Clarification: In the “Description and Identification” section, it would be helpful to clarify what a small nest size entails. Although it is explicitly stated later that the nests contain approximately twelve individuals, it would be helpful to have this information when it is first mentioned. The last sentence in the section also needs a citation. I was also confused by the last sentence in the "Colony Cycle" section: “Social interactions are more frequent during the middle of the day, between off-nest activity peaks, when many females return to the nest.” I suggest changing it by adding the word ‘and’ between peaks and when. I did not make this change because I am not sure if the new sentence still has the intended meaning.

• Small changes: My first alteration was linking out to the P. alternata Wikipedia page. As I contributed to this particular page, I realized that our information about the taxonomical relatedness between the two species aligned very well. I changed “looked” to “look” in the third sentence to maintain verb tense consistency. I also erased the comma in the last sentence “…the largest ovaries, becomes…”

• Additions: Under the “Colony Cycle” section, it would be helpful to include more details. For instance, are the colonies annual or seasonal? Consider defining the behavior of “dropping flights” that you mention under the “Defense” category. If there is any available research about specific predators and the diets of P. striatula, I would suggest including this information on the page.

Jazdeb (talk) 05:03, 18 October 2014 (UTC)

Some Suggestions

One thing I really liked about this article was the expansive section on mating. I thought the section about how this wasp uses abdominal substances when it rears and handles the eggs was particularly interesting, especially the part about how the female will actually leave the nest with the eggs in her mouth if threatened. However, I feel as though this article can be benefited with a few additions and changes. For instance, it would be nice to see some sections added regarding diet and predators under “Interaction with other species.” You actually do refer to some predators, such as hornets and ants, in the “Defense” section; maybe split the information into two sections and expand upon them. The opening paragraph to the article could also serve to summarize the article as a whole more effectively. Also, it would be nice to have your sources linked in the References section. The “Colony cycle” section could also use some expansion; the section is currently limited to a discussion about the activity of the colony in the short term. It would be nice to see how the colony functions over the long term. Is it seasonal, or does it remain in a nest for more than one mating season? Finally, I also added a few more links to other pages, as your article is still an orphan. Overall, the article as well written! Great job! RJPet (talk) 04:09, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Well written article! I agree with some of the previous suggestions regarding expanding the "Colony cycle" section. In addition, I added a few links to other Wikipedia pages, fixed a couple sentences with passive voice, and broke up the "Description and identification" header to clarify the difference between the wasp and the nest. Dkrinock (talk) 012:52, 20 November 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

I worked to add a few sentences to the "lead section" to extend it in length so that it would give a more accurate summary of the articles main points. I also went through and removed excess citations that were put after each sentence even though the entire paragraph came from the same source. The behavior section was extremely well covered, so I only looked to edit any grammatical errors. I couldn’t find a creative commons licensed photograph of the wasp so my main suggestion would be to get a photograph of the wasp species online so that the reader can see how this wasp relates in appearance to other wasps they’ve had experience with. The article could also benefit from expansion on “Colony Cycle” if that information is available, but great job overall. Samontenegro (talk) 03:20, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Comments

The first edits I made were corrections of a few miscellaneous grammar and punctuation errors that the writer and the previous editors did not notice. Though I am not certain about the proper structuring of texts under headings and subheadings, I think the page would look more organized and aesthetically pleasing if there was not text after a heading and then text after a subheading. For example, under “Description and identification,” there was text describing the morphology of P. striatula under the heading, which was followed by the subheading and text for “Nests.” The edit I made was adding a subheading for “Morphology” so that all of the information for this section is organized under a subheading. I would also recommend fixing the first paragraph of “Brood rearing” because the information there seems disjointed. Sydney Joyner (talk) 16:23, 20 November 2014 (UTC)