Talk:Patricia Mancilla/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by SpaceEconomist192 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: SpaceEconomist192 (talk · contribs) 09:35, 17 August 2023 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Discussion

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@Krisgabwoosh: Hello, long time no see! Just to let you know that the review is done and the article is on hold. SpaceEconomist192 10:55, 17 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Because there was only one followed up suggestion, I went ahead and did it myself to save us both time. I'm passing the article. SpaceEconomist192 07:41, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Lead section

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  • Add wikilink to «trade unionist» in ...Bolivian politician and trade unionist...
  • «La Paz» → La Paz Department. La Paz might confuse the readers into thinking that it refers to the city instead of the department.
Alright. SpaceEconomist192 07:39, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Was Patricia independent or was she representing a party when she was a member of the Chamber of Deputies? It does state in the following sentence that she is a member of MAS-IPSP, but it makes it seem like it was only during her time serving the Cairoma Municipal Council.
Alright. SpaceEconomist192 07:39, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Remove wikilink from «trade unionism» in ...Mancilla played an active role in regional trade unionism...
I suggested to remove it here because there is a first-instance of the word already linked. SpaceEconomist192 07:39, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • It would be good to add that the Bartolina Sisa Confederation is a peasant women trade union. I suggest something like this, «...holding positions throughout the 1990s within the Bartolina Sisa Confederation, an agrarian and women trade union».
  • ...held positions within the party's internal structure. Any prominent position she held?
Okay, no problem. SpaceEconomist192 07:39, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • She was elected to a seat in the Chamber of Deputies in 2009, representing the La Paz Department. This doesn't seem to add anything new to what was already said in the opening paragraph. I suggest its removal.
Maybe you can rephrase it to something like, «As a member of the Chamber of Deputy, Mancilla launched...» SpaceEconomist192 07:39, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply


Early life and carrer

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Early life and education

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  • It should be stated in this section that the Araca Valley is within Asiento Araca, otherwise this sentence, The predominantly Aymara-populated Araca Valley... is confusing for the reader.
  • «precluded» → prevented
  • What is popular communication? Is it possible to add a wikilink to that?
  • I'll be honest with you, I spent a solid amount of time looking through various papers and reports to try and parse what exactly "popular communication" means. I just could not figure it out. No articles came up in either English or Spanish Wikipedia that matched descriptions I saw. Krisgabwoosh (talk) 00:45, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Career and trade unionism

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Chamber of Deputies

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Election

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  • Here're some suggestions for a more accessible and plain English: «forayed into» → entered; «myriad» → multiple; «engulfed» → overwhelmed; «squabbles» → arguments; «hemorrhaging» → hemorrhaging; «fledgling» → new; «culminated» → resulted.
  • The abbreviation given in the parenthesis for the Movement for Socialism is MAS-IPSP, all instances of MAS should be replaced with the full abbreviation.

Tenure

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  • The above suggestion should also be applied here.
  • ...antiquated Penal Code... shouldn't the red link be only on «Penal Code»?

Commission assignments

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  • Everything looks good.

Electoral history

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  • Everything looks good.

Reference check

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  • All references number are of this version.
  • Checked reference #3, #6, #10, #16, #17, #18, #22 and #23.
  • I got an «access denied» message when trying to enter source #22 and #23. Can the nominator transclude the content to my sandbox? Thanks.
The archive links worked, thanks. SpaceEconomist192 07:39, 20 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • It is stated that source #16 is in Spanish, yet its written in English.

Copyvio check

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  • Earwig's Copyvio Detector points to 12.3% (all sources, expect two, are in Spanish).

Images check

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  • Checked image, it has an appropriate copyright status, it's relevant and it has a suitable caption.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.