Talk:Paulo Francis/GA3

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 20:06, 20 November 2014 (UTC)

Lead

• Locations of birth and death shouldn't really be mentioned in the opening sentence in the form of "*location of birth*, *date of birth* – *location of death*, *date of death*. An infobox would be more appropriate for such listings.
• Any particular reason there isn't an infobox with an image of Francis? It would be helpful for the article
• This doesn't adequately summarize the article per WP:LEAD. Should be 2, maybe 3, paragraphs longer.

Early life and career

• "Francis tried his hand as an actor"..... inappropriate tone
• "his actual talents"..... that is not a neutral description
• Add a comma after "Eventually" in "Eventually he dropped out from Columbia"
• "material basis for social change,something he expressed"..... needs a space after the comma
• "He preferred the swift and witty commentary"..... vague and could use better tone
• "intellectual" shouldn't be italicized
• "he remained noted for"..... known for

The middle years

• I'm not sure "The middle years" is a suitable for a section title
• "In the climate of heady political debate that characterized the early Cold War era in Brazil"..... reads awkwardly. I'm also guessing this was supposed to say heavy political debate
• I'd add a comma after "there" in "There he advocated for"
• Something about "i.e." doesn't seem appropriate to use
• "In short" is unneeded detail and unencyclopedic
• "Francis earned a living during the late 1960s mostly as a freelancer, penning contributions for Abril monthly Realidade, acting as a consultant for Editora Civilização Brasileira, editing Revista Diners (a house organ distributed free of charge to Brazil subscribers of the Diners Club credit card) and writing for various minor papers and magazines, especially the satirical weekly O Pasquim and the daily Tribuna da Imprensa"..... doesn't read very well, particularly "earned a living" and "penning contributions". It is also one of many excessively long sentences.

The later years

• I'm not sure "The later years" is a suitable for a section title
• It would help readers to establish what "WP" stands for
• Is "snubbed" the best word choice in "caused him to be snubbed"?
• I'm really concerned about the tone of "In short, Francis' leftism was but a tool for Westernization", and it is missing a citation
• "Francis had behaved condescendingly towards" → "Francis condescended"
• "Francis' columns were intellectually worthless, but made nevertheless good propaganda" is not a neutral statement
• "Francis' views were actually very simple"..... inappropriate tone
• "Bigot" isn't really a neutral term and is discouraged per WP:LABEL
• Using the term "racist" is also discouraged per WP:LABEL
• "In a 1990s column, he would write"..... wrote

TV celebrity

• The tag should've been resolved for "Francis left the Folha during 1991 and began writing his column for the O Estado de São Paulo" prior to this review

Final disputes and death

• ’ should be ' per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
• Add a space after "US" in "US$50 million"
• Is "to no avail" the best word choice?
• Why was his marriage to Sonia Nolasco not previously discussed before this section?

Legacy

• "specially in the way"..... especially
• "his late conservative friends and admirers"..... is "late" referring to deceased friends? If so, it's not really appropriate tone.
• "in short: his public persona"..... not really needed, and the tone is concerning
• "They downplayed his more controversial statements"..... "controversial" can be POV, and is discouraged per WP:LABEL

Selected works

• Any "selected" list is not neutral as this is a form of cherry-picking
• The works listed here should be italicized

Overall

• Well-written?: Definitely the article's weakest point- this fails MoS and needs a thorough copyedit
• Verifiable?: Two unsourced statements and seven dead links
• Broad in coverage?: Looks good
• Neutral?: Not quite
• Stable?: No major edits lately
• Illustrated, if possible, by images?: Licensing is OK and image used is relevant, though it would be nice to have a solo image of Francis, particularly for use in an infobox. The caption is rather long for the one currently used, just keep the focus on where Francis himself is located.
• Pass or Fail?: I'm failing this and not putting it on hold for extensive prose concerns. Take this to the GOCE and perhaps peer review before renominating.