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This is a good start, Ed. I think it may help to try and add in some more of your own language, with the goal of being neutral, of course. Right now the formal definition of peer contagion is so formal that I'm not sure how well it would translate to a broader audience, so some sort of more basic wording might help.
One of the next steps you should take is working on formatting the references according to the Wikipedia guidelines, which means they'll appear as footnotes rather than in the usual APA style. You may want to re-watch the tutorial on how to do this; if there's time, I'll also try to go over it quickly in class.
Finally, a brief outline of where you're thinking of going next for this contribution may help me provide you with some additional feedback. --Joanna Jml4bw (talk) 00:59, 1 April 2014 (UTC)
Joanna's feedback on page so far
editHi Ed, first, I sent the fix for references via email because when I include it here, it actually formats my writing as a reference so you can't see the syntax. Essentially, it's just a matter of having all of the carrots, backslashes, etc. in the correct place. The term "ref" either on it's own or with another term, is always between two carrots < >. At the end of the ref, there's a backslash before the closing carrot />. You also have to be mindful of spacing, etc. I fixed the ones in the first section- see if you can fix the others (if not, we can go through it together).
In terms of content, I think you've included appropriate subtopics; however, I still find the definition of peer contagion in the first paragraph to be a bit unclear. I think it would help if you could "translate" the Dishion quote into more "laypersons" terms- it should be clear in this first paragraph that peer contagion refers to the transmission of deviant behavior from one adolescent to another (you can use/modify this language if you want- but you may need to beef it up). You should also note somewhere that peer contagion generally focuses on negative/antisocial/deviant behavior rather than prosocial behavior (at least I think this is the case based on my current knowledge of the topic- something you should verify).
I'm going to assign your page to another student for peer review. You should let that person know that they'll be able to see more content once you fix the references (or tell them to view as an "edit"). -Joanna Jml4bw (talk) 14:09, 15 April 2014 (UTC)
Eden's Feedback
editHi Ed, thank you for your comments on my page. They are very useful. First, you suggested that I should rewrite the first sentence of the second paragraph, do you mean this one "Imaginary Audience is a term that Elkind used to describe the phenomenon that an adolescent anticipates the reactions of other people to him-/herself in actual or impending social situations?" Second, as to your confusion on the stages, actually Elkind thought no new mental stages would develop after formal operational stage - the stage here refers to the cognitive development stages that were addressed by Piaget. The other stage that is related to the passing of personal fable refers to Erik Erikson's psychosocial development stages. Hope this helps.
The following are the comments for your article:
1. I think the information provided in your article is useful. Peer contagion is an interesting phenomenon for researchers and practitioners to look into.
2. The neutrality and reliability of your article are adequate.
3. Subtopics are appropriate and closely related to the concept. They help to explain "what" and "why" of the phenomenon.
4. I agree with Joanna on modifying the opening sentence with your own interpretation, which might be easier for a normal reader without professional background to understand.
5. You mentioned four processes of deviancy training - labeling, communication, cultural norms and reinforcement. The way I see it, some concrete examples for each process may help readers to better understand these terms in this specific context. Actually, I'm going to add some concrete examples to explain imaginary audience and personal fable to my own article as well. By doing so the readability of the article may improve.
6. I'm going to link my page to the page of "Adolescence" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescence) in "See also" section. Probably you could do the same.
I enjoyed reading your article and I've learned useful things from it. Thank you for composing! Edenads (talk) 17:54, 30 April 2014 (UTC)