Wikipedia

Talk:Pennsylvania Turnpike/GA1

< Talk:Pennsylvania Turnpike
Latest comment: 12 years ago by Bob1960evens in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 12 years ago85 comments2 people in discussion
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Bob1960evens (talk · contribs) 17:05, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

I will review. I will work through the article, reviewing the lead at the end. Please respond to any comments below each comment, so it is easy to see what has been done and what is still to do. Bob1960evens (talk) 17:15, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

Route Description

edit
Western Extension
  • "begins ... in Lawrence County, where it continues west" might be better as "... beyond which it continues ..." as the continuation is not part of this road.
  • "which marks the west end of the ticket system." Suggest "the west end of the section which uses a ticket system" or somesuch.
Irwin to Carlisle
  • "I-70 follows an at-grade portion of US 30 with traffic lights and businesses" What is an at-grade portion?
  • Can I suggest that you wikilink to At-grade intersection then, as it is not a term that all readers will understand.
  • "before resuming south on its freeway alignment" needs clarifying, as I can't understand it.
  • "as it approaches the western suburbs of Harrisburg" could probably be "as it approaches Harrisburg", since the western suburbs are mentioned two junctions later.
  • "The road coems to an interchange with PA 72." Spelling of "comes"
Delaware River extension
  • "before reaching the Mid-County Interchange. The Mid-County Interchange ..." doesn't read well. Suggest "This interchange ..."
  • "controlled by the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission. The Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission ..." Suggest "The commission ..." to aid flow.

Features

edit
Toll system
  • "tolls were proposed to be $1.50". Suggest active voice rather than passive. So "the proposed tolls were $1.50" or somesuch.
  • "used to pay off bonds to build the road". Needs expansion. "bonds obtained to finance the construction of the road" with wikilink to Bond (finance) or somesuch.
  • "tolls continue to exist due to the money required to build extensions along with improving the road" doesn't read well. Suggest "tolls continue to be charged to raise the money required to build extensions and to make improvements to the road" or somesuch.
  • "as called for by Act 44" needs some context. There is no acticle about Act 44, so we need a few words to introduce it.
  • "The tickets along the Pennsylvania Turnpike were originally handed out by person." Can by person be reworded? It sounds awkward.
Reworded. Dough4872 16:59, 14 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • "In 1990, an electronic toll collection system was proposed for the Pennsylvania Turnpike". I don't think we need "for the Pennsylvania Turnpike", as it is mentioned in the previous sentence.
  • There are too many "E-Zpass"es in the rest of that paragraph. How about "In 2001, it was expanded west to Carlisle,[43][44] and on December 15, 2001, was extended to include the entire length of the Pennsylvania Turnpike.[45][46] Commercial vehicles were allowed to start using the system on December 14, 2002" to add a little variety?
  • "the Turnpike Commission [verb?] other automated options to pay for tolls." Verb missing, I think.
  • "It would save the turnpike commission $65 million." Suggest changing "would" to "will" as it is in the future.
Emergency assistance
  • "The turnpike has a callbox at each mile." Suggest "has a callbox every mile"
Service plazas
  • "the Cove Valley service plaza would be closed on the original section and replaced with the Sideling Hill service plaza, which would be the only service plaza on the mainline turnpike that would serve both directions." I'm not sure the subjunctive is merited in this context, and "serve both directions" needs expanding. Something like "the Cove Valley service plaza on the original section was closed and replaced with the Sideling Hill service plaza, which became the only service plaza on the mainline turnpike that served drivers travelling in both directions" would be good.
  • "with Burger King to replace them at several locations" Suggest "with Burger King replacing them ..." or somesuch.
  • "to reconstruct the service plazas along the turnpike.[82] The reconstruction of the service plazas, ..." Repetition of "service plazas" here and below. Suggest "The reconstruction, ..." and maybe "those at Sideling Hill and North Somerset were rebuilt." etc. It needs a bit of variety to aid the flow, and maybe some conjunctions, to join short sentences together.
  • Cut down on use of service plaza and reconstruction/rebuilt
  • "the Hempfield service plaza closed due to reconstruction along the roadway." Can it be made clearer? I'm not sure what is being described.
Radio broadcasts
  • "The broadcasts are available on AM 1640 and can be heard ..." Should that be "received"?
Speed limits
  • "the speed limit would return to 70 mph" Subjunctive again. Try "was returned".
  • "but was returned to 70 mph (110 km/h) as it did not reduce accidents" Repetition of "reduce accidents". Suggest "... as it did not have the desired effect" or somesuch.
  • "The speed limit was once again raised to 65 mph (105 km/h) in 1995 outside of urban areas with 50,000 people more," Doesn't quite make sense. Suggest rewording.

History

edit
Planning
  • "The proposed road was to use for former path and tunnels of the aborted South Pennsylvania Railroad project" Should "for" be "the", and suggest "abortive" for "aborted".
  • "Lecoq introduced their turnpike idea to state legislator Cliff Patterson. Patterson proposed ..." Repetition. Suggest "Patterson, who proposed ..."
  • "approved for the WPA to award a $24 million grant" doesn't read well. Suggest "approved the award of a grant for $24 million by the WPA" or somesuch.
Changed. Dough4872 16:59, 14 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • "the construction of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. The state was also to put up $29 million for construction of the turnpike" Repetition. Suggest "Turnpike, and the state also put up $29 million towards the project", or somesuch.
  • "the smaller planned bound issue" Is that "bond issue"?
Construction of first section
  • "workers cleared rockslides and vegetation from the tunnel portals before the workers could evaluate the condition ..." Suggest "... before they could ..."
  • "Temporary railroad tracks have been used to transport construction equipment into the tunnels." Suggest "were" instead of "have been".
  • "Other bridges carrying the turnpike were built such as through plate girder bridge, such as the bridge over Dunnings Creek in the Bedford Narrows, along with smaller concrete T-beam bridges" doesn't quite make sense. Try rewording.
  • "Several interchanges were to also be built along the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Most of the ones built were trumpet interchanges" Suggest "Several interchanges were built along the Pennsylvania Turnpike, most of which were trumpet interchanges" to avoid repetition.
  • "with the completion date pushed back to June 29, 1940 by October 1939" Should this be "from October 1939"?
  • It is still not quite right, as we now have "with the completion date pushed back to from May&nbsp1 to June 29, 1940 by October 1939." To make it easier to understand, can I suggest "and by October 1939 the completion data had been pushed back ..." and the nbsp needs fixing.
Opening of first section
  • First paragraph has too many very short sentences. Suggest some conjuctions, and slight reworking.
  • "The Pennsylvania Turnpike was called a "yardstick" in which construction of limited-access highways would be measured against." Suggest "by which" and removal of "against".
  • "As a result, a project began in 1954 to repave the turnpike between Irwin and Carlisle. The project was completed in 1962" Suggest "... Carlisle, which was completed" to aid flow.
Extensions built
  • "The extension was proposed to cost" Suggest "expected" or "projected" instead of proposed.
  • "but would use air-entrained concrete" Suggest wikilinking Air entrainment.
  • "The transverse joints on the pavement were also spaced closer" Suggest "closer together".
  • "began to look into funding for the western extension" Suggest "for this", as the western extension was introduced in the previous sentence. It is repeated lots of times in the rest of the paragraph. Try replacing some with just "extension" or "it" as appropriate.
  • "consisted of steel girder bridges and the through plate girder bridge" Suggest both should be singular or plural.
  • "The concrete arch bridge was not used for overpasses, however it was ..." However used as a conjuction follows a semicolon. Either change the comma or use "although".
  • "the turnpike commission announced $65 million in bonds would be issued to build the Delaware River extension" Suggest "would be issued to fund the project" to avoid so much repetition of Delaware River extension.
  • "Valley Forge mainline toll plaza was located farther east to the junction" Is that "at the junction" or "near the junction"?
  • "The bridge over the Delaware River was to be funded jointly by the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission and the New Jersey Turnpike Authority.[198] The Delaware River Bridge, which was built as a steel arch bridge, opened to traffic on May 23, 1956" Suggest "The steel arch bridge, which opened to traffic on May 23, 1956, was funded jointly ... to avoid so much repetion of Delaware River bridge, which is introduced in the previous sentence.
  • "The bridge was originally six lanes and wide" Is that "six lanes wide"?
  • "with the Pennsylvania Turnpike ... to become I-80S" Suggest "becoming".
  • "The state later changed their mind" The state acts as a singular, so "changed its mind", unless you designate which state body it was.
Tunnel modernization and realignment
  • "The bypass would feature a wide median and truck climbing lanes. The Laurel Hill Tunnel bypass opened to traffic on October 30, 1964 at a cost of $7.5 million" Suggest "... climbing lanes, and opened ..." as Laurel Hill Tunnel has already been introduced.
  • "On March 15, 1965, the new tube at the Allegheny Mountain Tunnel opened to traffic" Suggest "the new tube opened to traffic", to avoid so much repetition of Allegheny Mountain Tunnel.
  • "The new and remodeled tunnels would have ... a width of 13 ft (4.0 m)" I don't have access to Dakelman to check, but 13 ft sounds very narrow for a tunnel. Is this the lane width?
  • "would become known as the Abandoned Pennsylvania Turnpike" This whole paragraph uses the subjunctive again. I think it should be past tense, since we presumably know that the pavement actually started to crumble and trees actually grew in the median.
  • "along with testing pavement marking equipment." Suggest "and used it for testing ..."
Late 20th century
  • "In 1960, 100 miles (160 km) of median barrier was planned to be installed along the turnpike" Needs active voice. So "In 1960, they began a project to install 100 miles (160 km) of median barrier along the turnpike" or somesuch.
  • "Cars and trucks would be carried on separate roadways under their plan" Suggest "this plan".
  • "By the 1970s, the Pennsylvania Turnpike started to see a decline in traffic as I-80 was built as a shorter route across the northern part of the state" doesn't read well. Suggest "... as the opening of I-80 provided a shorter route ..." or somesuch.
  • "became a congested commuter road by the 1980s". Suggest "had become ... by the 1980s" or "became ... in the 1980s".
  • "along with differences between the commissioners" Suggest "along" becomes "as well as".
  • "The Pennsylvania Legislature approved the project in 1985, in which the road would be widened". "in which" sounds wrong. Try rewording.
  • "The interchange between I-476 and the mainline of the Pennsylvania Turnpike was completed in November 1992" Suggest "were completed", since there are two objects in the sentence.
  • Sorry, I mis-read that one.
  • "When this interchange was built, the lights were a nuisance to nearby residents." Is this car lights or fixed lighting on the interchange? And was the junction moved because of the nuisance? Needs some clarification.
  • "celebrated its 50th anniversary in 1990, costing $300,000 to promote the turnpike" Should this be "spending $300,000"?
  • "was a 5 miles (8.0 km) stretch" should be "was a 5-mile (8 km) stretch". Add |adj=on |0 switches to the convert template.
  • "Completion of reconstructing the entire length of the Pennsylvania Turnpike between Irwin and Carlisle is expected for 2014" doesn't read well. Suggest "Completion of the entire length between Irwin and Carlisle is expected to be completed in 2014" or somesuch.
21st century
  • "with the Gateway toll plaza becoming a flat-rate toll plaza [and?] all the exit toll plazas west of Warrendale closing." Word missing.
  • "construction began on a westbound E-ZPass only slip ramp at Virginia Drive in Fort Washington.[42] On December 2, 2000, the Virginia Drive slip ramp opened at a cost of $5.1 million." Suggest "... Virginia Drive in Fort Washington,[42] which opened on December 2, 2000, having cost $5.1 million." to aid flow.
  • "at PA 132 in Bensalem Township.[259] On November 22, 2010 the slip ramp at PA 132 opened." Suggest "Bensalem Township,[259] which opened on November 22, 2010." to avoid repetition of slip ramp at PA 132.
  • "In October 2004, work began on widening this stretch of road.[282] The expansion to six lanes between Valley Forge and Norristown was completed in November 2008 at a cost of $330 million." Suggest "this stretch of road,[282] which was completed in November ..." to avoid repetition of "to six lanes between Valley Forge and Norristown".
  • "A total of 34 companies submitted 14 proposals to leasing the turnpike in October 2007." Should be "14 proposals for leasing" or "14 proposals to lease".
  • "In 2007, the widening project was scaled back from the proposed PA 29 slip ramp to Valley Forge" doesn't quite make sense. "scaled back from"?
Interchange with Interstate 95 project
  • "The planned interchange gained opposition from area residents" Suggest "faced opposition", but this may be cultural. Maybe "The planned interchange was opposed by area residents" would solve it.

Lead

edit

The lead is perhaps a little short for an article of this length, but does a good job of introducing the subject and summarising the contents, so we will leave it as is. However, like other parts of the article, it suffers a little from repetition. I would suggest replacing the second and third "The Pennsylvania Turnpike"s in the first paragraph with "It".

  • "The road would utilize seven tunnels that were to be used for the aborted South Pennsylvania Railroad in the 1880s." Suggest "seven tunnels that were [or had been] built for the abortive SPR ..." The subjunctive (would utilize) is ok here, as it is used in the context of a proposal, and historically had not yet been built.
edit
  • The urls for Refs 55 and 15 have changed. It is probably worth updating them before they change again and readers cannot find the pages at all.
  • The external link to PRR Chronology is dead.

The formal bit

edit
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
    See comments above
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    I have checked some of the refs, and those I have checked have all been used appropriately. All appear to be reliable sources.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Content review completed. On to the other bits next. Bob1960evens (talk) 15:41, 14 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for reviewing the article, I have replied to the above comments. Dough4872 18:02, 13 October 2012 (UTC)Reply
Replied. Dough4872 16:59, 14 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

Well done on an informative article. The above looked like a lot of things to do, but all were fairly minor, and I am impressed by the speed with which you have addressed them. All issues are now fixed, and I am passing the article as a Good Article. Thanks for your cooperation. Bob1960evens (talk) 22:03, 14 October 2012 (UTC)Reply

Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Pennsylvania_Turnpike/GA1&oldid=1136243886"