Talk:Performance Review/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 04:24, 11 September 2012 (UTC)

I'll take this one. Ruby 2010/2013 04:24, 11 September 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• "...about their romantic relationship from the previous episode." - I prefer the link be used with " previous episode", not just "episode"
• onset -> on-set
• "Dwight's fitness orb" - is orb the right word? I thought it was a fitness ball? Or is that what Dwight calls it?

  Yeah, It's called that by Dwight.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:17, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

• "...much to Michael's chagrin" - is chagrin the right word here? Anger? Displeasure?
• Perhaps you want to note that Wilmore guest starred in a previous episode?
• "...one of the very first season two episodes aired." -> one of the very first episodes of the second season.
• "When the episode was being formulated..." - the episode - Performance Review (reminds people what ep you're talking about)
• rehearsed "about ten time" - ten times?
• initial lines give to Steve Carell and Melora Hardin -> given
• I noted in the production section that you use the crew names inconsistently (Krasinksi but then Rainn Wilson, etc.). I think it would look better if you use their surnames (unless they aren't mentioned previously, like Angela Kinsey)
• Hardin recalled that is was extremely difficult -> it was?
• Link for The Office Cast (2007). The Office Convention 2007 Cast Q&A. (Interview). The Office: Overtime: NBC.?

  I'm not sure what you mean here. Its a DVD extra on the Office: Overtime DVD, but I can't seem to find a link to the Overtime DVD on Wikipedia.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:17, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

• Sorry, I didn't realize! Ruby 2010/2013 15:05, 13 September 2012 (UTC)

• Link Oscar
• When was the Seitz review published? I'm curious because it mentions the best episodes of the series

  I'm not sure, as it doesn't readily have its date, but it looks like it goes all the way to "Niagara".--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:17, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

• "In fact, Wilson later claimed that Dwight's line about laser tag caused "quite a buzz" online" - not a fan of the "in fact" part
• see 4 September 4, 2012 and 4 September 2012 (use consistent formatting)

Mostly minor issues, so nice work. I got some of them, but for others I didn't want to change anything without hearing a possible response back first. I'll place it on hold for seven days. Ruby 2010/2013 03:53, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

I believe I've gotten everything and responded to specific ones above. Thank you for the review!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 19:17, 12 September 2012 (UTC)

Looks good. Passing this one for GA. Nice work! Ruby 2010/2013 15:05, 13 September 2012 (UTC)