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Puffery?
editHi Hullaballoo Wolfowitz, I am concerned that your solution to issues that you see in this article is to remove them, rather than fix them. That appears to be the case from your other contributions, as well. Editors like me, who have contributed to those pages that you visit, would appreciate your leaving a note of concern on the article's talk page, thereby avoiding a "hit-and-run" engagement. I ask you to at least discuss your concerns here, starting with the lead paragraph, per MOS:BLPLEAD.
I originally wrote "[Goldmark] is an environmentalist whose career has included leadership in major governmental, philanthropic, newsmedia and environmental organizations" because at any given point in his career, those other things would have been what he was best known for. Leaving "environmentalist" only would have to be justified by determining which of his career hats held most weight. The most accurate statement would be that Goldmark "is a retired person whose career has included leadership in major environmental, governmental, philanthropic, newsmedia and environmental organizations", but he is not primarily known for being retired. "Major" is justified because the State of New York, the Rockefeller Foundation, and the International Herald Tribune are clearly major. If you see a way to rebalance the emphasis, I am open to it. One suggestion would be:
- "[Goldmark] is a retired publisher and journalist who highlighted environmental and social issues."
As to Wikipedia:Wikipuffery, it "is the puffing of a subject or the addition of praise-filled adjectives and claims. They may be there to exaggerate the notability of the article subject to avoid deletion of the article. Examples include use of adjectives as "famous", "notable", "award-winning", "acclaimed", or "influential", detailed listings of minor biographical details (including complete lists of anything related to the person or topic), and lead paragraphs that proclaim the superiority of the subject." My introductory words, "Goldmark's career has spanned several tracks, including government, management, finance, philanthropy, journalism and environmentalism", were purely factual and contained no puffery that I can discern. I can offer:
- "Goldmark's career started with state government in Massachusetts and New York, progressed to leadership in multiple philanthropic organizations as president of the Rockefeller Foundation, continued to journalism and publishing with Newsday and the International Herald Tribune and included a leadership role in the Environmental Defense Fund."
I look forward to your constructive engagement. Sincerely, User:HopsonRoad 13:34, 15 July 2017 (UTC)
- I am a wanna Wikipedia contributor. Not holding my breath 🙄
- I lived in Stamford CT from 1967 to 1971.
- Peter C Goldmark and family were close neighbors.
- Mr. Goldmark's daughter, Susan (not mentioned in this article), was my best friend for three years.
- Susan was a bit agoraphobic so we played at her house every day after school and on the weekends.
- I was close with the family (please put Susan in the article. I don't remember her exact date of birth but I am confident it was around 1963. Same as me).
- Mr. Goldmark was a bit of a celebrity in our town of Stamford. My father, also an engineer, was in awe of him.
- They were quite the interesting bunch.
- Thanks for reading and your time if you made it this far.
- Regards,
- Laura Whipple DaisyMae19 (talk) 12:27, 19 October 2023 (UTC)