Talk:Phil Dwyer/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: EchetusXe (talk · contribs) 16:52, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Lead

• The infobox stats need a totals row. - Added
• "He left the club in 1984" - 1985? - Fixed
• His debut and retirement could use the months as well as the year.

  I've added the debut month but he the retirement simply came at the end of the season, so I couldn't put an exact date on it.

• International career could be expanded beyond one short sentence. - Expanded slightly
• The style of play needs to be briefly summarised here too. His playing position isn't even mentioned currently.
• Specify the spell at Rochdale was on loan. - Added
• His position in the infobox could also include midfielder and forward as he spent some games in those positions.

  The infobox position field is generally to list the player's most prominent position, which is definitely a defender in this case. Kosack (talk) 12:15, 16 June 2020 (UTC)

• Promotion in 1982–83 is missed out. - Added

Early life

• Links needed for: Second World War, coal mining, Cardiff Docks, central heating, aluminium, cricket, rugby, baseball, nightclub.  Done
• "His mother, also took up work". Comma doesn't belong there.  Done
• "Leeda United side featuring Billy Bremner" should be 'Leeds United that featured', definitely not Leeda lol. Also needs to be reworded so it doesn't read as though George Best played for Leeds.  Done
• Cardiff City F.C. doesn't need the F.C. Should say 'Dwyer grew up supporting Cardiff City'.  Done

Club career

• Links needed for: carpentry, 1972–73 season up to 1984–85 season, Georgia, First Division, Swansea City, List of Cardiff City F.C. records and statistics.  Done

Should I link it to say, 1972–73 Cardiff City F.C. season or 1972–73 in English football? REDMAN 2019 (talk) 12:05, 21 June 2020 (UTC)

I'd say Cardiff season.--EchetusXe 14:07, 22 June 2020 (UTC)

• "Cardiff's results gradually stabilised under O'Farrell with Dwyer scoring". Comma between Farrell and with.  Done
• "under O'Farrell's assistant Jimmy Andrews" 'under Jimmy Andrews, who had previously been O'Farrell's assistant'.  Done
• "In only his second season as a senior professional, Dwyer was ever present in the league for Cardiff, playing in all 42 matches during the campaign, and missed one first team match, the first leg of the Welsh Cup final against Stourbridge, playing 52 times" Sentence has too many commas and needs breaking into two.  Done
• "grabbed the fan in a headlock until he was apprehended by police" Just make it clear it was the fan who was apprehended.  Done
• "being a positive influence on his game remarking" Comma between game and remarking.  Done
• "and against Walsall and Colchester in February 1976" He scored braces against them or just single goals?  Done
• "conceding a single goal" 'just a single goal'.  Done
• "The start of the 1980–81 season coincided with Dwyer's tenth year with Cardiff" He started at the club in 1969 not 1979?  Done fixed
• "falining" typo.  Done
• "8 matches in cup competition" competitions.  Done

International career

• "callup" should be call-up.  Done
• "England under-21s along with his former Cardiff teammate Leighton Phillips." comma between 21s and along.  Done

Career statistics

• Should link to 1972–73 Cardiff City F.C. season etc.

Only problem is most of the Cardiff City season are already linked. REDMAN 2019 (talk) 16:02, 22 June 2020 (UTC)

• Needs reference for Rochdale stats.

Having a bit of trouble finding them. Any ideas? REDMAN 2019 (talk) 16:02, 22 June 2020 (UTC)

Honours

• Should link to 1976–77 Welsh Cup etc.  Done
• Promotion in 1982–83 is missed out.  Done

• Needs adding to Category:Wales youth international footballers, Category:Welsh police officers, Category:People from Grangetown, Cardiff, Category:Association football midfielders, Category:Association football forwards  Done

I think after that we can move this to GA status. Cheers.--EchetusXe 16:52, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for the review EchetusXE. Unfortunately, I'm struggling to find the time for Wiki at the moment. It may be best to withdraw this nom for now until I'm able to find some more time. Thanks. Kosack (talk) 10:48, 20 June 2020 (UTC)

I'll ask on the football project page if anyone wants to complete the improvements. So we can leave it a few days to see if anyone is interested before closing it. Thanks.--EchetusXe 12:36, 20 June 2020 (UTC)

I'd be willing to help although I don't want to hog all the credit. REDMAN 2019 (talk) 12:56, 20 June 2020 (UTC)

Okay excellent. As long as the changes are made then it passes to GA and credit will go to Kosack and anyone else who worked on the article.--EchetusXe 15:55, 20 June 2020 (UTC)

@EchetusXe: I have addressed all issues except the two that I have left replies for. REDMAN 2019 (talk) 16:14, 22 June 2020 (UTC)

Okay great work. I actually have a source for the Rochdale stats and we can leave the English football links. I will pass this to GA.--EchetusXe 16:43, 22 June 2020 (UTC)