Talk:Philip III of France/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kansas Bear in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 20:25, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- "File:Miniature Philippe III Courronement.jpg" needs a US PD tag.
- "File:Livre des faiz monseigneur saint Loys - BNF Fr2829 f82r (procession funèbre de Louis IX).jpg", likewise.
- "File:MariaofBrabantMarriage.jpg" and again.--I have no idea what US PD tag is. I have never worked with pictures, images, etc.
- The main body of the article should give his birth date.--Done.
- "on 25 August the king died" Upper case K.--Done.
- "they decided on Mos Teutonicus." Could you provide an in line translation please.--Done.
- "the caliph of Tunis". Upper case C.--Done.
- "and made foremost tribute to the deceased" I think you mean 'paid', not "made"; and what is foremost tribute?--Removed foremost. Changed "made" to "paid".
- "In fact, he would follow in his father's footsteps" No need to say "in fact"; this is an encyclopedia, everything is cited, everything is a fact.--Done.
- "re-inact" → 'reenact'.--Done.
- "References": page ranges should be seperated by en dashes, not hyphens.--Done.
- "References": references to more than one page should be rendered 'pp.', not "p.".--Done.
- "but the terms were rejected by Roger-Bernard." What terms were these? Ones proposed by James?--Removed. Source gave no further information.
- Link County of Foix at first mention.--Done.
- Remove all of the duplinks.--Done.
- "Philip then proceeded on a campaign to deliberately devastate and depopulate the County of Foix." What does "deliberately" add? I assume their is no suggestion that he may have devastated and depopulated the county accidentally?--Done.
- "Henry's widow Blanche was also receiving marriage proposals for Joan from England and Aragon as well." You don't need "also" and "as well". Delete one.--Done.
- "between Philip III and Blanche of Artois, arranged the marriage between a son of Philip III". There is no need for the regnal numbers.--Done.
- "a reference to king Philip IV of France." Upper case K.--Done
- "The success of the rebellion and invasion led to ..." What invasion? It hasn't previously been mentioned.--Fixed.
- "county of Alençon" 1. Upper case C in both lead and main body 2. Wikilink in both lead and main body.--Done.
- "Philip III of France in 1284 responded". 1. Responded to what? 2. "Philip III of France" → 'Philip'.--Done.
- {{sfn|Cárdenas|2014|p=?}}: Can you provide the page number?--Replaced source.
- It is normal in the biographies on monarchs to provide a summary of historians' views of the monarch and their reign.--That may take some time.
- It shouldn't. The information needed will be in the sources you have already used. Looking at articles I have recently reviewed, see the last paragraph of Abd al-Malik I (Samanid emir) for a minimal effort. Or the Legacy section of Yusuf I of Granada, although that is an FA, you don't need that much here.
That's it for a quick first read through. Let me know what you think about my comments and I'll have another run through. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:44, 2 November 2020 (UTC)
- Did a few things. Replaced Cardenas, sorry about that. I do not have any experience in terms of pictures, images, etc. So I do not know what a "US PD tag" is. Thanks. --Kansas Bear (talk) 08:08, 4 November 2020 (UTC)
- Click on the image. then click on "More details", then "Edit" the Commons page. It will have a {{PD-Art-100}} tag. Replace this with {{PD-Art|PD-old-100-1923}} and check that what this give you is accurate.--Done.
- Looking good. Just this and a sentence or two on legacy to do. Gog the Mild (talk) 15:18, 5 November 2020 (UTC)
- Was there anything else needing done? Have I missed anything? --Kansas Bear (talk) 03:55, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
Apologies Kansas Bear, I thought that we were still waiting for a Legacy section. Rereading:
- "From that moment on, Pierre de La Brosse". 1. Briefly introduce Brosse, 2. link him. 3. lower case l.--Done.
- Link archbishop of Rouen.--Done.
- "Sultan of Tunis"; "Caliph of Tunis." Was he both?--Done.
- "Jewish strepiti (chanting too loud)". I am not sure abut this, but should that be 'chanting too loudly'?--Done.
- Link Marie of Brabant, Queen of France.--Done.
- Remove duplicate links - there are at least half a dozen.--I hope I found them all. Does the infobox count?.
- I removed the last two for you.
- No. The lead, the infobox, the image captions and the main body of the article each count as seperate for this purpose.
- Why does "mos Teutonicus" have an upper case M?--Done.
- "he is seen as a negative personality". 1. I am not sure what this means. 2. Negative personally or negative in his overall reign over France?--Removed.
That's it I think. Could you check my copy editing? Gog the Mild (talk) 12:06, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
- No apology needed. It was clear that you were very busy. --Kansas Bear (talk) 18:23, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
Kansas Bear, nice work. A good little article. Promoting. However, note that Philip's second wife is referred to as Mary in "Aragonese Crusade and death" and Marie in "Marriage and children". Gog the Mild (talk) 18:56, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
- Got it. I would bet anything Fawtier calls her Mary, which is probably why I wrote it "Mary". Thank you sir! --Kansas Bear (talk) 19:01, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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