Wikipedia

Talk:Pic-Nic/GA1

< Talk:Pic-Nic
Latest comment: 3 years ago by GhostRiver in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 3 years ago5 comments2 people in discussion
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)Reply


I think this article has been waiting at GAN for long enough! — GhostRiver 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Infobox and lede

edit
  • "Contrary to popular belief, keyboardist Jordi Sabatés does not appear in any of the group's releases, as he joined the band after their only published recordings sessions had taken place." → "Although keyboardist Jordi Sabatés is often mentioned as a member of the band, he does not appear on any of the group's releases, having joined after their only published recording sessions had taken place."
Done
  • "Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"
Done
  • "Jeanette—an English girl that had" → "Jeanette, an English girl who had"
Done
  • "EP" → "extended play"
Done
  • ""Cállate niña,"" → ""Cállate niña"," per MOS:LQ
Done

History

edit

Origins at Brenner's Folk

edit
  • "Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"
Done
  • End first sentence after "Barangé", then say "Soler and Barangé had previously been part of Els Xerracs," and continue the sentence there
Done
  • "spent her childhood in Los Angeles, until her parents divorced in 1962 and she moved" → "spent her childhood in Los Angeles until her parents' 1962 divorce, at which point she moved"
Done
  • "featured a cover art"
Done
Done
  • "what the genre consisted of" → "more about the genre" (don't end sentences in prepositions)
Done

Breakthrough with "Callate nina"

edit
  • "Vytas and Haakon's family" → "the Brenner family"
Done
  • "Brenner's Folk's new formation" → "This new iteration of Brenner's Folk"
Done
  • ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975."" → ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975"." per MOS:LQ
Done
  • ""[resulted] from sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy."" → "resulted from "sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy"." per MOS:LQ
Done
  • "too much of a foreign name" → "too foreign of a name"
Done
  • "and Vytas and Haakon were no longer" → "and the eponymous Brenners were no longer"
Done
  • Italicize Tele Ritmo as the name of a television program
Done
  • ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds."" → ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds"." per MOS:LQ
Done
  • Commas rather than em dashes around "starring Pili and Mili"
Done
  • Cut "Despite popular belief"
Done
Done

Break-up and aftermath

edit
Done
  • "missing a lot of class" → "frequently missing class"
Done
  • "fulfill her band obligations"
Done
  • ""go to school..."" → ""go to school ...."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS
Done
  • "Despite the repercussion" → "Despite the success"
Done
  • "briefly tried to continue playing without her but were unsuccessful." → "briefly and unsuccessfully attempted to continue playing without her."
Done
  • "where they got married" → "where they wed"
Done

Musical style

edit
  • "transformed their folk ballads into something unique" → "transformed their original folk ballads into something more unique."
Done
  • No colon after "Pepe García Lloret described Pic-Nic's music as"
Done
  • "on the contrary" → "as a corollary"
Done
  • "Most of them" → "Most of these songs"
Done
  • Commas rather than em dashes around "a Jeanette composition based on the traditional lullaby "Hush, Little Baby""
Done

Legacy

edit
  • considered a mythical band both vague and POV; considered by whom?
See corrections
  • Considered uprecedented and ahead of its time by whom?
See corrections
  • ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain."" → ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain"." per MOS:LQ
Done
  • "various indie pop artists"
Done
  • Efe Eme should be italicized as the name of a publication
Done
Done
Done
  • Commas rather than em dashes around "a reissue subsidiary of Spanish label Munster Records"
Done
Done
  • Commas rather than em dashes around "who has cited Jeannette as one of her biggest influences"
Done

Discography

edit
  • Good

References

edit
  • Good

General comments

edit
  • Images are fair use or CC and are relevant
  • Music samples are under 30 seconds and relevant
  • No stability concerns in the revision history
  • Copyvio score looks good, the only thing higher than 5.7% is from attributed direct quotes

Generally looks good – outside of some basic prose and MOS fixes, my biggest concern is in the Legacy section, where WP:WEASEL may apply, as claims are made generally about the band's status. Putting on hold now to allow nominator to address comments; feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 18:11, 1 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

GhostRiver thank you so much for taking a look at the article! Regarding the main issues in the "Legacy" section, please let me know if I've fixed them correctly. --🩸 𝗕𝗹𝗲𝗳𝗳 🩸 (talk) 19:01, 1 November 2021 (UTC)Reply
So much better, thank you! Very happy to pass! — GhostRiver 19:24, 1 November 2021 (UTC)Reply
Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Pic-Nic/GA1&oldid=1053077235"