Talk:Plas Mawr/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Moswento in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Moswento (talk · contribs) 13:28, 23 September 2013 (UTC)Reply

Overalls
  • Just finished looking at this one, and I must say it was a pleasure to read and a delight to review. It's comprehensive, interesting, well-written and well-illustrated. Just a few minor queries on the text, and then this one will be ready for the happy Green Symbol we all know and love. Seriously great work, Moswento talky 10:19, 27 September 2013 (UTC)Reply
Lead
  • Direct quotations still need to be referenced in the lead - this applies to the Rick Turner and Peter Smith quotes.
History
  • "known in the 16th century for its gentile society." - do you mean "genteel society"?
  • "steep price of £40" - I wonder if this phrasing would be accessible to most readers? Would "high price" work as well?
  • "Both the first two phases of work" - "both of"?
  • "the antiquarian John Wynn," - was he a close relation? If so, might be worth mentioning
  • "before his death in 1598" - His death year is repeated in the next sentence. I would remove this appearance of it, because we would assume that he had the children before his death.
  • "Mostyn's principal residence" - should this be "Mostyns'"?
  • "Mostyn Hall" - you could mention the location of Mostyn Hall here, though not essential
  • "offered the house up for sale " - you don't need the "up" here
  • In the caption, is there any advantage to abbreviating "left" to "l"? "Left" would be unambiguously clear to readers, and would not take up any more line space.
Layout
  • "Plas Mawr's gatehouse was only the third such entrance building to be built in North Wales, despite being an important part of English Elizabethan architecture, where the gatehouse was designed to show off the house and provide a suitably dignified entry for visitors." - This sentence is a bit awkward, as on first reading the "despite being" would naturally refer to Plas Mawr's gatehouse. Perhaps: "Plas Mawr's gatehouse was only the third such entrance building to be built in North Wales, despite gatehouses being an important part of English Elizabethan architecture, designed to show off the house and provide a suitably dignified entry for visitors."
  • "a batterie de cuisine, combination of original and replica equipment." - there seems to be something missing here..."with a combination of...?"
  • "Conway valley" - typo?
Done. Hchc2009 (talk) 10:42, 29 September 2013 (UTC)Reply