Talk:PlayStation 4/GA1

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:40, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

I'll take this JAGUAR  19:40, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

Initial comments

• "as an eighth generation of video game consoles" - as part of the eighth generation of video game consoles
• I think the lead should be reorganised into four paragraphs, per WP:LEADLENGTH. The sentence "During the 2014 fiscal year, PS4 topped video game global console sales" should definitely be merged
• "In early 2013, Sony announced that an event known as PlayStation Meeting 2013 would be held in New York City, U.S.," - no need for 'US' here
• "Chief executive, Kazuo Hirai, said in May" - Chief executive of what?
• "An official price cut in Europe followed in late Oct 2015" - October
• "released in Japan at 39,980 Yen" - why is the Yen symbol not shown here?
• "On 9 September 2015, the ps4 official came out of the PS4 in North America was announced" - I see that a dmy date is used here. The article uses mdy dates throughout, so which one should be used?
• "The technology in the PlayStation 4 is similar to the hardware found in personal computers" - a bit vague. I'm sure all PCs are different!
• "This familiarity should make it easier and less expensive for game studios to develop games for the PS4" - this is also vague and unclear, and sounds like a bit of risky original research
• "with similar price drops in other SE Asian markets" - south-east shouldn't be abbreviated
• "Its read-only optical drive is capable of reading Blu-ray Discs at speeds of up to three times that of the PS3's" - might sound better as of its predecessor
• "It includes a non-removable, rechargeable battery" - no need for the comma here
• "Sony also took steps to make it easier for indie game developers to publish titles for the PS4" - I don't think this is descriptive enough

References

• Ref 29 is dead

On hold

I'll leave this on hold for the standard seven days. I'll be happy to leave it on hold for longer if needed. Once all of the above are out of the way, I'll take another look at the article. Overall though, it appears very solid and GA-worthy. JAGUAR  19:58, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

@Gamingforfun365: I think the final two points could be addressed by simply removing them if they can't be elaborated. To me they sound like original research and something an IP wrote a long time ago. JAGUAR  11:05, 21 November 2015 (UTC)

The sentences were changed. One of them says "...modern personal computers.", and the other says "The familiarity is designed to...". Is that okay, or must they be removed altogether? Gamingforfun³⁶⁵ (talk) 17:20, 21 November 2015 (UTC)

That should be OK. I've checked over the article once more and I can determine that this meets the GA criteria now. Well done! JAGUAR  18:20, 21 November 2015 (UTC)