Talk:Political history of the Philippines/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by GhostRiver in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 21:16, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
I can take a look at this! Please be somewhat patient with me, as it is a long article, but I promise I'll be as thorough and quick as I can! — GhostRiver 21:16, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Lede
edit- Hinduism and Islam are linked here but not in the body; per MOS:OVERLINK, "major examples of religions" generally should not be linked
Pre-Spanish era
editsmall entities while being part of region-wide trade networks.
feels like something is missing after the word "entities"- "had three classes," → "had three classes:"
- No comma after "Sultanate of Maguindanao"
- "over some Muslims areas" → "over some Muslim areas"
Spanish era
editColonization and governance
edit- Lowercase "church" refers to a building, capital "Church" refers to the body of the Catholic Church
Direct Spanish rule remained did not extend far from Manila.
confusing syntax- "lead to greater" → "led to greater"
National awakening and revolution
edit- "western educational background" → "Western educational background", as we're referring to the Western world
- Ilustrados is inconsistently capitalized through this section
- "including
withequality" - No comma after "Much of the campaigning took place in Madrid"
American era
editConquest and consolidation
edit- "in a skirmish in Manila" → "with a skirmish in Manila"
- "military and civil governments in Manila" → "military and civil governments there"
- ilustrados is italicized in the third sentence but not really anywhere else
- "Moros
wereremained concerned"
Development of political institutions
edit- "with 2 from each" → "with two from each" per MOS:NUM
- "Most were elected, however" → "Most were elected; however,"
Commonwealth era
edit- "and was adopted on February 1" → "and was adopted the next day"
- Comma after "and vice president"
All the existing parties to merge into the KALIBAPI, created by Proclamation No. 109 on December 8, 1942, with other parties being banned.
Confusing syntax- KALIBAPI is double-linked in the penultimate paragraph
Independent era
editTwo-party system
edit- No comma after "and civil unrest"
Marcos dictatorship
edit- "who were not Marcos allies" → "not allied with Marcos"
- "However this was seen as largely toothless," → "This was, however, seen as largely toothless,"
- Should link the first mention of "Benigno's widow Corazon" to Corazon Aquino
Post-People Power era
edit- Sentence should either end here, or there should be a colon rather than a comma:
Political reform movements that had grown under Marcos and played a significant role in the revolution lost their strength over the next few years,
- "did not with to run for election again" → "did not wish to run for re-election"
- "Ramos had to face an ongoing energy crisis that had started during the Aquino administration which was resolved when Ramos issued contracts favorable to power producers." → "Ramos, facing an ongoing energy crisis from the Aquino administration, resolved the issue by issuring contracts favorable to power producers."
- "following Estrada being officially charged with "plundering", Estrada's supporters" → "after Estrada was officially charged with "plundering", his supporters"
However, former president Aquino died, and her son, Benigno Aquino III, overtook Villar in the polls.
This sentence comes out of nowhere a little, as the influence of Aquino's death is not immediately clear in the context of Teodoro vs. Villar
References
edit- There are two: places where headlines should be changed to title case per MOS:ALLCAPS – I'm looking at [19] (A SINGULAR AND A PLURAL FOLK) and 37 (GENERAL AMNESTY FOR THE FILIPINOS)
- This might be a pain in the ass, but establishing a consistent date formatting style would be nice; some are YYYY-MM-DD, some are MDY, and some are DMY
General comments
edit- No stability concerns in the revision history
- All images are properly licensed and relevant
- Earwig score looks good at just over 12%
Putting on hold for now; please ping me if you have any questions. — GhostRiver 18:02, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
- All suggested changes made. Thanks for the suggestions. CMD (talk) 14:32, 14 October 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you for making those edits, particularly the one about Aquino's son! Knowing that he launched his campaign after his mother's death really puts in an additional piece of clarification. Happy to pass! — GhostRiver 15:12, 14 October 2021 (UTC)