Talk:Polytechnic University of the Philippines/GA1

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Reviewer: Ed! (talk · contribs) 11:28, 18 January 2013 (UTC)Reply

The article seems to be off to a good start, but still has quite a ways to go. Some comments:

  • Generally, the lead section should summarize the article (see: WP:LEAD) and any of the information there that is cited should be in the body of the article. The cited information needs to be incorporated into the rest of the text.
  • History section: "PSC's campus lot size is inadequate and therefore school authorities intensified its plans and proposals to acquire a new lot and on July 1947, PSC move to its new campus located at Lepanto Street (now S. H. Loyola Street) in Sampaloc, Manila." -- This changes from past to present tense a few times.
  • Something is wrong with this sentence: "He failed to obtained an outstanding rating as the University President and therefore his term was not renewed."
  • At its current location, the campus map is very disruptive. It needs to be made smaller or moved somewhere else to make the page easier to navigate.
  • The "Philosophy" section isn't necessary.
  • The student life section is insufficient. What kinds of student organizations are there? Surely there is more to the student culture of the university than sports and protesting.
  • You note the athletics mascot of the university, but which sports do they play? How does their team perform? This information is necessary.
  • There are a lot of opinions in the article that would need citing. Examples:
    • "The campus is easy to navigate despite its massive size."
    • "Among the best-known people who have attended the Polytechnic University of the Philippines are ..."
  • References needed:
    • "Improvements for the university continued up to present day with new colleges being added and the construction of several university facilities. When Dr. Samuel M. Salvador became the Officer-in-Charge/Acting President of the university, he spearheaded the rehabilitation of all PUP campuses and constructed the Dr. Nemesio E. Prudente Freedom Park (Freedom Plaza), in honor of Prudente and his accomplishments. Salvador's administration mainly focused on the preparation of the upcoming centenary of the university."
    • "The campus of the Polytechnic University of the Philippines is located at Santa Mesa, Manila and it lies on the banks of Pasig River comprising an area of 48 acres (0.2 km2). The school originally lies at S.H. Loyola Street in Sampaloc, Manila before it transferred to the Santa Mesa campus on 1971."
    • "As the campus of a large university, PUP has many facilities that serve not only the school, but the entire city. Venues inside the campus that the public can use include the university gymnasium, the amphitheater, the Luntiang Pilipinas Forest Park (popularly known as Intramuros Park), the Apolinario Mabini Shrine and Museum, an auditorium, the Hasmin Hotel, and several public parking lots."
    • "The campus also encompasses a number of residential areas and many students claim a sense of solidarity with the residents of these immediate communities. "
    • "The campus is served by a railway station and has its own ferry station."
    • "The university operates on three campuses located throughout Manila: the A. Mabini Campus (Teresa Street), the NDC Compound Campus (Pureza Street) and the M.H. del Pilar Campus (Nagtahan Avenue)."
    • "University Centers headquartered in the campus are: the Charlie del Rosario Development Center, the ICT Center, the Ninoy Aquino Learning Resources Center and the University Center for Culture and the Arts. Sports facilities located inside the campus are: the P.E. Building, an olympic-size swimming pool, the gymnasium, and the outdoor courts of basketball, volleyball and badminton."
    • Landmarks located within the campus are an outdoor amphitheater, The Obelisk, a ecumenical chapel and a ferry station. Parks and plazas found inside the campus are: the Nemesio E. Prudente Freedom Park, the Luntiang Pilipinas Forest Park, the student pavilion and a park facing the ecumenical chapel.
    • The XYZ Building, commonly known as the PUP Main Building (because of the South Wing Building inclusion), is situated at the southeast of the campus facing the Nemesio E. Prudente Freedom Park. It is divided into four buildings: North Wing, South Wing, East Wing, and the West Wing.
    • In terms of infrastructure, the campus has more than 20 buildings and a developed network of roads and quadrangles. The campus is easy to navigate despite its massive size.
    • The table of PUP units by year founded.
    • "The College of Education, established in 1904 as a program in Business Education, is considered the oldest college and is the predecessor of all the university's degree-granting units. In contrast, the recently established colleges are the College of Accountancy and Finance and the College of Arts and Letters, both of which are the products of the reorganization that was enacted on 2012 which also renamed several colleges."
    • Everything in the "Research" section
    • Everything in the "Student life and culture" section
    • "Persons affiliated to the university, either as students, faculty members, or administrators, are known as "PUPians". Individually, students at the university are known as "Iskolar ng Bayan" which translates in English as (the) Nation's Scholar."
    • "Liezel Garcia, Mark Logan, Richard Gomez, Steve Dailisan and Tado Jimenez."
  • There are several dozen duplicate links and external links which would need fixing.
  • Reference #7 is not working.
  • Reference #28: The link is dead.
  • Finally, the article would need a copy-edit for some form of fluent English, as it unfortunately seems to have a number of prose problems.

As I said, the article is off to a good start, but it needs a lot of improvement. The "History" section is good, but the "Campus" and "Notable People" sections need more citations, and the "Student life" section needs a lot more information. As I do not believe these drastic changes can be achieved in a short amount of time, I must say that the article can not easily achieve GA-level of quality. If these improvements are, the article can be renominated. —Ed!(talk) 11:59, 18 January 2013 (UTC)Reply