Talk:Poppin (KSI song)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Poppin (KSI song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 19:50, 10 January 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

After our earlier discussion, I have made the decision to take this article on! --K. Peake 19:50, 10 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Infobox looks good!
• "The song was produced by" → "It was produced by" to avoid starting two consecutive sentences the same way

 Done

• "Go Grizzly, and Mally Mall." → "Go Grizzly and Mally Mall." since the article is in British English

 Done

• "It was released" → "The song was released"

 Done

• "The song is a hyperactive" → "It is a" since the "hyperactive" part is not notable for the lead

 Done

• "The song is all about" → "The song's lyrics are about"

 Done

• Remove wikilink on jewellery

 Done

• "The song's music video was" → "An accompanying music video was"

 Done

• "The video places the three performing artists" → "The video places the three rappers"

 Done

• Shouldn't the song's challenge be mentioned in the lead after the music video?

 Done

Writing and production

• "The song's instrumental was produced by" → "The song was produced by"

 Done

• "Go Grizzly, and Mally Mall." → "Go Grizzly and Mally Mall."

 Done

• Remove introduction and wikilink for Smokepurpp

 Done

• "a chorus and a verse" remove this part, as the source mentions that KSI wrote those parts at the time and not Smokepurpp

• Timwikisidemen I have altered this part to be accurate, as Smokepurpp had wrote and recorded but it is not sourced that it was a chorus and verse. Regarding the other two unresolved points, I used the same type of alteration for them. --K. Peake 10:00, 13 January 2021 (UTC)

• Remove introduction and target for KSI

 Done

• "was played the instrumental with Smokepurpp's chorus and verse during a" → "was played the instrumental during a"
• The source does not mention the session being in Los Angeles, unless it is worded in a way that is unobvious to spot which I missed?

• Timwikisidemen, the above issues are the only ones that have not been fixed and for more context, you need to remove the introductions because they have already been identified as American rappers in the lead, plus the target is redundant for KSI because he is the main artist; I guess you can get away with keeping the wikilinks for the others though since they are featured, while removing the introductions. As for the other points arisen, the info is not sourced hence my suggestions. --K. Peake 21:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)

• "KSI wrote and recorded a pre-chorus" → "KSI wrote and recorded both a chorus" with the target

 Done

• Remove target on feature

 Done

• Remove introduction and wikilink for Lil Pump

 Done

• "therefore, "it made" → "therefore "it made"

 Done

Music and lyrics

• "track with elements of" → "track, with elements of"

 Done

• The verse-chorus form and the song's length are both unsourced
• You should mention the bass production of the song per 24
• Remove target on soundtrack

 Done

• Remove wikilink on lyrics

 Done

• "are all about flexing," → "centre around flexing,"

 Done

• Remove wikilink on jewellery

 Done

Release and promotion

• "On the same day, he posted" → "Simultaneously, he posted"

 Done

• Remove wikilink on cover art

 Done

• "and it features Lil Pump and" → "and features Lil Pump and"

 Done

• Remove wikilink on cartoon

 Done

• "from KSI's upcoming debut studio album," → "from KSI's debut studio album"

 Done

• Remove target on Dissimulation

 Done

• "to write and record their own verse" → "to record their own verse"

 Done

• Remove wikilink on remix

 Done

• Target deluxe edition to Special edition

 Done

• "of KSI's upcoming debut studio album." → "of the album." since his debut is the most recent album mentioned

 Done

• [17][7] should be put in numerical order

 Done

• "on 4 April and 9 April," → "on 4 April and 9 April 2020,"

 Done

• "for the public poll which" → "for the public poll, which"

 Done

Critical reception

• Retitle to Reception and merge with commercial performance, placing the latter as the bottom para here since both sections are too short at one para each

 Done

• "received positive reviews" → "was met with positive reviews"

 Done

• Target music critics to Music journalism

 Done

• "In his review of "Poppin" for" → "In his review for"

 Done

• "someone (KSI) who" → "someone [KSI] who"

 Done

Music video

• "The music video was released to" → "The video was released to"

 Done

• "one week later on 10 April." → "one week later."

 Done

• The director sentence belongs in the first para instead

 Done

• [26][23] put in numerical order, but none of the sentence about the opening scenes is backed up these refs

 Done

• "among a crowd of people dancing" part of the sentence is unsourced

 Done

• Only Bailey Sok is backed up as being in the crowd; the others are all unsourced

Commercial performance

• The movement I suggested earlier will have this and the critical reception before the music video in the merged section

 Done

• "the top 40 of the chart." → "the top 40." to avoid overstating "the chart"

 Done

• Number of weeks on the UK R&B Chart is not sourced and there is no history where this is mentioned, so only keep the debut position

 Done

• "on the UK Hip Hop and R&B Singles Chart," → "on the UK R&B Chart,"

 Done

• "is the 23rd-best-selling song" → "was the 23rd best-selling song"

 Done

• Mention the Scottish Singles Chart position inbetween UK and Ireland

 Done

Credits and personnel

• Good

Charts

• Good

Release history

• Good

References

• Copyvio score looks really good at 28.1%!
• Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool

 Done

• Cite Genius as publisher instead for ref 1 and fix MOS:QWQ issues

 Done

• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 2, 4, 11, 12, 22 26

 Done

• Remove or replace ref 6 per WP:RSP
• Target Insider to Insider (website) on ref 7 per MOS:LINK2SECT

 Done

• Cite GRM Daily as publisher instead for ref 15

 Done

• Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 18

 Done

• Grungcake → Grungecake on ref 23

 Done

• Cite GRM Daily as publisher instead for ref 24 and fix MOS:QWQ issues

 Done

• Cite Official Charts Company as publisher instead for ref 33

 Done

• Cite Tidal as publisher instead for ref 35

 Done

External links

• Good

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until the issues are all fixed; I did notice that you have made improvements as an editor since my last review for you but the main problem with this article is the amount of original research. --K. Peake 09:53, 11 January 2021 (UTC)

• Timwikisidemen I may have done some copyediting, but that was only brief. ✓ Pass now, congrats on yet another GA that is well-deserved! --K. Peake 10:00, 13 January 2021 (UTC)