Talk:Problematic social media use/GA2
GA Review
edit| GA toolbox |
|---|
| Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 18:59, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
I'll have a look at this. Give me a few days. Normally I would, obviously, assess this against the GA criteria; if you are wanting to take it on to FA, I could assess to that level to give you a flying start, as it were. Your choice. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:59, 13 November 2019 (UTC)
- There seems to be a bit of overlap between non-quotation prose in the article and the Vitality Unleashed web site - see here. Any thoughts?
- A little low on images. Perhaps copy in one (or two) from one of your other articles?
- Apologies E.3. Things have become a bit busy recently. I am aware of this and will get back to it soon. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:51, 15 November 2019 (UTC)
- "in various life domains" Does that mean in plural life domains? Or in one or more?
- "it appears to affect individuals based on the social media platform used" I know what you mean, but possibly "based" → 'depending'?
- "daily responsibilities" What is a daily responsibility?
- "a manifestation of underlying psychiatric disorders" Just checking that "disorders" if definitely plural?
- "Researchers have approached the question from a variety of viewpoints, with no universally standardized or agreed definitions." I suspect that in this sentence you are mixing the approaches to "whether the disorder is a separate clinical entity" and the definition of "problematic social media use". If so, I suggest splitting the sentence; if not, I suggest clarifying.
- Generally I would expect the main article to open with a definition; you do this with the lead. Possibly a new, opening, section: "Definition[s]?
- "in children and young people" Only in children and young people?
- "effect size" What is this?
- "Signs and symptoms" The 2nd and 4th sentences of this are spookily similar. The fact that they are in reverse chronological order is confusing. What if anything is the connection between them. Are they two meta-studies a year apart studying the same thing and getting the same result.
- "was shown in a cohort study in 15- and 16-year-olds" Suggest second "in" → 'of'.
- "to have a modest association with self-reported symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder followed up over two years" I honestly don't know what this means. Do you mean '... when questioned on the latter two years later?
- "A 2016 technical report" We are going back in time again. Is there a reason for the order of presentation of these three syudies?
- "adolescent mental health" Just checking whether that should be 'adolescents' '?
- "It showed that the amount of time spent on social media is not the key factor, but rather how time is spent." Suggest 'It showed that the key factor was not the amount of time spent on social media, but rather how this time is spent.'
- It may be that I am being slow, but I am struggling to understand the distinction between "passively consumed" and "more actively engaged"> Perhaps an example or two of each would help?
@E.3: I have only done the lead and the first section, and apart from the usual bits and pieces am hitting a lot places where things are not very accessible. Could I suggest that you work through the areas I have commented on above, then go through the rest trying to improve the flow and remove or explain any jargon or technical terms? Ping me when you are happy for me to continue the assessment. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:14, 16 November 2019 (UTC)
- Hi Almaty. It's been seven weeks. If I don't see any action over the next couple of days, I'll close this as unresponsive. Gog the Mild (talk) 04:05, 7 January 2020 (UTC)
Failing for lack of response. Which is a pity, as it is an important topic and the article is in good shape. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:17, 10 January 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
