Talk:R-15 (concert)

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:R-15 (concert)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Pseud 14 (talk · contribs) 20:28, 23 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: PSA (talk · contribs) 01:38, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

It's been a while! I will be taking this for review. I have a pending GAN of my own in case you want to take a look. ‍  PSA 🏕️  (talk) 01:38, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

I'll do my best to take a look at your GAN within the week. Pseud 14 (talk) 03:03, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See #Prose comments.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	No issues.
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	No issues.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	The Philippine publications are RS. Billboard and CNN are good. The concert airing is used as WP:PRIMARY for the synopsis, which is an acceptable use.
	2c. it contains no original research.	See #Spotchecks. Just a few very minor issues.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	See #Spotchecks. None were found.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	Are there RS about the boxscore or the critical reception section?
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	Good.
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	Good
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	Last edit since this GAN review began was waaay back in February.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	Given.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Given
	7. Overall assessment.	Comments should be easy enough to address.

Spotchecks

Refer to this version for the ref numbers.

• 1 - no issues
• 4 - the fact is correct, but the source says it was recorded in '87. Can we get a better source?

Added another source to support that

• 6 - no issues found
• 8 - no issues found
• 9 - The source says "EE Concert Productions" and not "EE Concerts Production". Other than that, no issues.

Thanks for catching that. Revised

• 10 - Quotation supported.
• 11 - no issues found.

No copyright violations. Just two very minor hiccups with two sources I checked.

Prose comments

Most suggestions will revolve around concision.

• Change Velasquez's descriptor in the lead to simply "musician" or "singer"; no need to say the same thing with more words.

Done

• "an appearance in the variety show" -> "appearing in the variety show"

Done

• "was described" passive voice. Just say who described the concert as such

I dropped described altogether since it is still attributed to another Phil Daily Inquirer article. And I had already mentioned the newspaper in the preceding sentence.

• "with Freddie Santos tapped" probably a nitpick but is there a more encyclopedic word for "tapped" we can use?

Changed

• "who served as the music director" -> "the show's music director"

Done

• "performance of her first single" already mentioned this was her debut single, so no need to specify it again

Removed

• Ditto with Regine

Removed

• From here on out, it will help to specify the albums on which the forthcoming songs appear

I've tried to add the albums associated with the songs where possible (although didn't repeat it for the succeeding songs)

• The "with" in "Dance with Me" should be in lowercase; same with "the" in "Follow the Sun"

Done

• "went down to the audience section and interacted with the crowd" -> "approached and mingled with the audience"

Done

• "and then performed" remove "then"

Removed

• "which was entitled" remove the "which was"

Removed

• Remove "At this point"

Removed

• "before closing the show" -> dangling modifier; change to "before Velasquez closed"

Removed

• "After the song ended" remove "ended"

Removed

• "for a performance of" remove "a performance of"

Removed

• Is there any critical commentary about this concert? Or sources about the boxscore?

I've tried looking for reviews through Google Books, but unfortunately, there isn't one available. Tried other online sources too and it seems to be scarce during this period/year. As for boxscore, we generally do not have that as far as Filipino events as concerned (at least to my knowledge), especially not during this time period. Pseud 14 (talk) 02:55, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

That will be all, @Pseud 14. Great work on this article. ‍  PSA 🏕️  (talk) 01:38, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for taking on this review PSA. Your comments have been very helpful. (It's been a while and I didn't realize you switched names again!). Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Hope all is well with you. Pseud 14 (talk) 02:55, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

No problem @Pseud 14, and I am glad for your quick replies. That there aren't any RS for the reception/sales is fine; as long as the article discusses everything all RS say, it satisfies the criterion for broadness. Anyways, final comments re. concision and clarity: "featured songs taken from Velasquez's discography, which incorporated tracks she released from her cover albums" can be simplified to "featured songs from Velasquez's discography, including tracks from her cover albums" and "in some Asian territories" to simply "in Asia". Change "Nineteen 90's 'Narito Ako'" to "'Narito Ako' from Nineteen 90's" so that readers using screen readers won't assume Nineteen 90's refers to a music act. After this, I will be confident enough to pass. ‍  PSA 🏕️  (talk) 03:56, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for the additional comments PSA. I’ve incorporated all suggestions into the article. Appreciate your review to help polish it. Pseud 14 (talk) 04:07, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Will be passing now ‍  PSA 🏕️  (talk) 04:13, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.