Talk:Ray Lindwall with the Australian cricket team in England in 1948/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by YellowMonkey in topic GA Review
GA Review
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I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:21, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- a couple of small rough spots where it's unclear what's being talked about.
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Specific comments
- Early tour section, first paragraph, fifth sentence. "Lindwall was carrying an injured leg tendon ..." "was carrying" sounds odd. Perhaps "Lindwall had a injured leg tendon... "
- He was injured but continuing to play. Used your suggestion but slightly reworded. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- Same section and paragraph, the ninth sentence "Bradman advised Lindwall to keep his dragging rear right foot even further than usual..." I think something is missing here. I don't get what Bradman was advising him to do... as the "even further" implies something like "back" or "forward" but it's missing context to make out what is being said.
- Reworded, hopefully clear now. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- Try to vary your paragraph starts a bit more. There are a lot of paragraphs that start "Lindwall..." which is slightly repetitous.
- Second test section, first sentence ..."Lindwall was subjected to a thorough fitness test on the morning of the Second Test at Lord's two weeks later, the home of cricket." I'm not sure what imporatnce the "home of cricket" bit has, sounds peacocky to me. Suggest "Two weeks later, Lindwall was subjected to a thorough fitness exam on the morning of the Second Test at Lord's."
- From Lord's cricket ground "Lord's is often referred to as 'The Home of Cricket'." The history and prestige of the ground was one of the reasons that Lindwall was so keen to play in the match. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- Fourth test section, second paragraph "During the innings, Lindwall appealed for lbw four times while wicket-keeper..." what the heck is lbw?
- Leg before wicket, a type of dismissal. It was linked earlier in the article, I have linked it again, remove if you feel it unnecessary. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- Closing matches ... "He returned against the South of England, scoring an unbeaten..." South of England is a club?
- A representative team consisting of players from the southern first-class counties. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- Same section ... "During the last tour in 1938, this team was effectively a full-strength England outfit, but this time Bradman insisted that only six Test players be allowed to play. Bradman then fielded a full-strength team." how'd he manage to pull that one over? It should probably be explained.
- you'll need a source for the pic at FAC, just a word of warning.
- As usual, it's jargon heavy. You know the drill... FAC, yada, yada...
- I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:44, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
- I have made some changes but will leave the least few to YM. If he is unhappy with any of the changes, feel free to revert. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- I've doen the small tweaks. YellowMonkey (click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 00:56, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
- No nota at all, I need all the help I can get. YellowMonkey (click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 00:57, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
- I've doen the small tweaks. YellowMonkey (click here to vote for world cycling's #1 model!) 00:56, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
- I have made some changes but will leave the least few to YM. If he is unhappy with any of the changes, feel free to revert. -- Mattinbgn\talk 04:24, 8 February 2009 (UTC)