Talk:Raymond Pace Alexander/GA2

Latest comment: 6 years ago by MX in topic GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.

GA Review

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Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 23:13, 13 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Review

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Will review this article. It looks ripe for promotion already, but I'll try to be as thorough as possible. Stay tuned. MX () 23:14, 13 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Overall, this article is excellently written. I enjoyed it a lot. Below are a few issues / suggestions before passing this nomination. Thank you! MX () 03:05, 14 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Early life and education

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  • Later, looking back on his time at the Met – Is the "Met" an official acronym of the Metropolitan Opera House? If not, I would suggest adding a ( ) after Metropolitan Opera House and using the shorter version later.
  • Alexander attended the University of Pennsylvania on a merit scholarship and became the first black graduate of the Wharton School of Business in 1920. – Link both schools
  • (As he was not yet barred, Alexander hired an attorney to represent him.) – I think this would work without parenthesis.
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  • a white Republican former Congressman with a small office in the city – I would link Republican for those non-American readers unfamiliar with the word.
  • After she was convicted and sentenced to death – Just a suggestion, but how do you feel about linking sentenced to death with "Capital punishment in Pennsylvania"?
  • joined the National Bar Association, an association ... – Add (NBA) after National Bar Association since it is used later.
  • Though the NBA, Alexander began – Misspelled; should be "Through".

Berwyn desegregation case

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Schnader, now running for governor, now promised to find a solution – using "now" twice sounds a bit awkward. Consider rephrasing.

Growing prestige

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  • the country at National Bar Association events – I would stick with the acronym NBA, per above.
  • would not receive a fair trial in the South – link fair trial

Trenton Six

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  • Trenton police induced confessions from five of the six – link Trenton police
  • the legal arm of the communist party – Which community party? Can we link it too?
  • prohibited the CRC from representing – Add (CRC) after the Civil Rights Congress mention in the previous sentences
  • himself from the CLC and other communist groups – Not sure what CLC is since this acronym was not mentioned earlier.

Seeking judicial nomination

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  • At that time, Republicans dominated Philadelphia's political scene – Unlink Republican here since you will be linking it above, per WP:OVERLINK
  • Sadie Alexander had followed her husband's political shift – Shouldn't it be "Mossell", as used in earlier paragraphs?
  • the school would eventually desegregate – tidy it up to "the school eventually desegregated"

City Council

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  • He won reelection in 1955 with an – I think the right way to say it is "He won the reelection ..."
  • While there, Alexander continued – While where? It's a bit unclear.
  • found the required two-thirds vote in Council to make it on to the ballot for popular approval – Feel free to put 23 if you'd like

Judge

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  • demanded that a grand jury be convened to investigate Democratic corruption in City Hall – What is "City Hall"? Is that another way of saying local / city government?
  • Meanwhile, he spoke out against black separatism, calling it "reverse racism." – link black separatism; could be an interesting read

Sources

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  • All checks out. Sources are reliable, formatted properly, etc. I have a question, however. Why is Source #21 not formatted the same way at the bottom like the others?

Infobox

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  • Have you considered adding one? I think it would be a value-added for our readers.
    • @MX: Thank you for the thorough review. My changes are here, and should address your concerns. The only one I left out, I think, was referring to Sadie Alexander as "Mossell" after her marriage. I think that since she changed her name, we should reintroduce her that way. Everything else, I think, is as you've suggested. --Coemgenus (talk) 21:22, 14 October 2018 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.