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The lead looks good as far as summarizing the main points in the article.
The image in the infobox - which one is Dutton? It looks like the guy in the suit is doing the presenting, but that seems at odds with the caption. Possibly (front right) or (front left) could be used to clear up the IDs.
The column referencing his brothers, I don't see that info in there anywhere - I see mention of his sons being killed in WW2, but nothing about brothers. My monitor size isn't ideal for scrolling, so I admit I could have missed it.
Unfortunately, Google didn't put a link point on Coleman's article, but it is to the right of the Blue Jays one that is linked in reference 4. Resolute03:43, 15 January 2011 (UTC)Reply
Left school in 1915, "fought in the war for over four years" - with an armistice signed in 1918, this seems off. Also, the previously mentioned column says he was seriously injured in 1917. Possibly "served in the army for over four years" is a better representation?
"Dutton found himself penniless with only his pride preventing him from asking his father for help when he was met by the owner of a hockey team in Calgary who had sought him out. Dutton was offered $2,500 to play in the Alberta city." Not the most encyclopedic phrasing possible, something like "Dutton was destitute when the owner of a Calgary hockey team offered him $2,500 to play for his club" gets the point across just as well.
I think the poit about Dutton refusing to go to his family for assistance helps define his character. I've reworded the passage, so hopefully it is better.
I tracked the previous mention of his contracting business failing in the 20s, but perhaps a brief reminder, "like his attempt shortly after WW1"... might make things more clear.
Latest comment: 12 years ago5 comments2 people in discussion
I've seen several reports of his death and they state that he was 89 at time of death. Which would mean a birth date in 1897. ʘ alaney2k ʘ (talk) 00:34, 4 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
The obit at time of death stated a birth date of January 3, 1898, which would fit. "CALGARY - Mervyn "Red" Dutton, a former president of the NHL, and a member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, died here Sunday following a lengthy illness.
He was 89.
Born Jan. 3, 1898 in Russell, Man., Dutton first moved to Calgary in 1922 and played for four years with the Calgary Tigers of the old professional Western Canada Hockey League. " ʘ alaney2k ʘ (talk) 00:36, 4 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
Yeah, we see that with some of the 19th century born players. Good catch on finding the proper birthdate. That said, three references for something that simple is excessive, so I'm going to dump the find a grave cite and leave the other two. Cheers, Resolute00:09, 5 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
It was needed for the cemetary ref too. I see a bot restored it elsewhere. Very handy. There are more and more bots every day. ʘ alaney2k ʘ (talk) 19:11, 6 July 2012 (UTC)Reply
Yeah, that one's been around for a bit. I didn't even check to see if the ref was used elsewhere, mostly because I carry a great disdain for find-a-grave. Resolute17:26, 7 July 2012 (UTC)Reply