Talk:Reunion (30 Rock)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: BelovedFreak 22:19, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Gave it a slight copyedit, just a couple of queries for clarity. A couple of tweaks in references.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   No problems

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

   Broad in coverage and focused.

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   Neutral

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

   No problems

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   No problems

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

• No dead links or links to disambiguation pages.

Plot

• Could there be a bit of an explanation as to why Geiss was in a coma, or how long? (Just in this section, the lead's fine)
  • I think I got it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 14:25, 20 May 2010 (UTC)
• It's not immediately clear why Jack is distraught that Geiss is remaining CEO; could you make it clearer that he was supposed to get the job (or whatever it is that's happening there!)
  • Added.
• "For upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna start doing his page duties..." - this sentence is not quite right grammatically because it suggests that T & J did the upstaging. It needs something extra at the beginning, like To pay him back for upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna... or As revenge for upstaging them, Tracy and Jenna...
  • Done.

Cultural references

• I didn't get the Obama reference, until I read her biog and saw that she went to Princeton. Could you clarify that? (remember your non-US audiences!)
  • Of course.
• "often making out" - this sounds a bit too informal, but I don't have an immediate suggestion as you've just said "kissing". Unless, you just have something like Liz's former classmates play Seven minutes in heaven, a game in which two people are selected to go into a closet or other dark enclosed space and do whatever they like for seven minutes, often kissing.
  • Done.
• "Later, Liz's classmates plan to Carrie her on stage..." - this is also informal, and a little obscure to the uninitiated, perhaps could be solved simply by quotation marks, like Later, Liz's classmates plan to "Carrie" her on stage
  • Done.
• "The bucket of blood is dumped, but misses her entirely." - again, I feel that "dumped" is a bit informal, but feel free to disagree. Also, I think it's clearer if that sentence comes after the explanatory one (that begins "This is a reference to...")
  • I just removed it. The way I see it, it's better not to have it like that. IMO. IDK. What do you think?
    • Yeah, that's fine. I agree.--BelovedFreak 14:42, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

References

• Could you link the first instance of IMDb & spell it out, and delink the second & third instances of Entertainment Weekly?
  • Done.
• Not required now, but for further development, recommend adding publishers to all refs where possible.

Another good job, putting on hold.--BelovedFreak 22:19, 19 May 2010 (UTC)

Ok, good job - passed! --BelovedFreak 14:42, 20 May 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the review, it is most appreciated. :) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 14:46, 20 May 2010 (UTC)