Talk:Rhodes piano/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Seabuckthorn (talk · contribs) 03:26, 24 February 2014 (UTC)
Nominator: Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)
Hi! My review for this article will be here shortly. --Seabuckthorn ♥ 03:26, 24 February 2014 (UTC)
1: Well-written
- a. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
- b. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Check for WP:LEAD:
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Done
Check for WP:LAYOUT: Done
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Done
Check for WP:WTW: Done
Check for WP:MOSFICT: Done
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Done
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2: Verifiable with no original research
- a. Has an appropriate reference section: Yes
- b. Citation to reliable sources where necessary: excellent (Thorough check on Google.)
Done
Check for WP:RS: Done
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Done
Check for inline citations WP:MINREF: Done
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- c. No original research: Done
Done
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3: Broad in its coverage
a. Major aspects:
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Done
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b. Focused:
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Done
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4: Neutral
Done
4. Fair representation without bias: Done
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5: Stable: No edit wars, etc: Yes
6: Images Done (Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license) (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license) (PD)
Images:
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Done
6: Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: Done
6: Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: Done
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I'm glad to see your work here. As per the above checklist, I do have some insights that I think will be useful in improving the article:
"This feature is mistakenly called "vibrato" (which is a variation in pitch) on some models to be consistent with the labelling on Fender's amplifiers." ("Fender's amplifiers" or "Fender amplifiers"? Can "Fender's amplifiers" be linked to "Fender Amplifiers"?)
- Done. (Didn't know there was an article on the amps, though I should have checked!) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
"Although the Rhodes has the same musical functionality of an acoustic piano, its sound is very different." ("same" appears redundant to me?)
- Changed to "same mechanical operation", which is more accurate. You hit a key, it moves a hammer that strikes something solid, but there the similarities end. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
"The Rhodes has a better sustain, while the Wurlitzer produces significant enharmonic overtones when the keys are played hard, giving it a "bite" that the Rhodes does not have." (Can you explain "enharmonic overtones" a bit? For example: "… produces significant enharmonic overtones, such as in explosions and door slams, …")
- The specific phrase in the source is "In contrast, the Wurlitzer tended to have more bite and, when played hard, the enharmonic partials and increasing distortion 'barked' at the listener." Let's go with "harmonics" Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
"Rhodes had begun to teach piano at the age of 19." (or simply "Rhodes began teaching piano at the age of 19."?)
- Or, even more simply, "Rhodes started teaching piano when he was 19" which is one word less :-) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks --Seabuckthorn ♥ 22:52, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
- Or, even more simply, "Rhodes started teaching piano when he was 19" which is one word less :-) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
"He dropped out of studying at the University of Southern California in 1929 to support his family through the great depression by full-time teaching, and designed a method that combined classical and jazz music." (I think the part ", and designed a method that combined classical and jazz music" can be moved to a new sentence for clarity? Or perhaps this part is more consistent with the next sentence. )
- Done (though I've trimmed the sentence down a bit too) Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
"By connecting the output of a network of student models, the teacher could listen to each one in isolation on the instructor model, and send backing tracks back in response." (Is it correct?)
- I've copyedited this, and wikilinked backing track. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 17:26, 25 February 2014 (UTC)
Besides that, I think the article looks excellent. Ritchie333, please feel free to strike out any recommendation you think will not help in improving the article. All the best, --Seabuckthorn ♥ 22:40, 24 February 2014 (UTC)
Thanks, Ritchie333, very much for your diligence, care and precision in writing such great articles. Promoting the article to GA status. --Seabuckthorn ♥ 22:52, 25 February 2014 (UTC)