Talk:Rio (Duran Duran album)/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Ippantekina in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Ippantekina (talk · contribs) 11:42, 23 September 2022 (UTC)
Review to come soon- Ippantekina (talk) 11:42, 23 September 2022 (UTC)
Lead
edit- "pursuing a crush" I am unsure if "crush" is encyclopedic tone
- love interest?
- "The iconic cover artwork" a little puffery
- Adjusted
- "Initially unsuccessful in the United States, Capitol Records commissioned a remix to better match American radio at the time, which went on to spend" grammar
- Spent?
Background and development
edit- "demos of several songs at the basement studio of EMI's Manchester Square building that would appear on their next album" grammar
- Fixed
- What do we mean by "sessions proper"?
- Official. Changed to that.
- I am pretty sure it's "cherished" instead of "charished"
- Fixed
- "the sequenced-based tracks" I don't get what this means
- Built using sequences via synthesizers
- I'd link synthesiser
- Done
Recording
edit- Done
- "Hamilton had previously contributed to the "night version" of "Planet Earth" " Is "Planet Earth" a song by the band?
- Yessir. Clarified
Promotion
edit- "With "Planet Earth" director Russell Mulcahy, the band produced videos" I'd write "Russel Mulcahy, who had directed "Planet Earth", worked with the band on..."
- Fixed
- "All the videos were storyboarded and art directed by former film student Marcello Anciano" I'd switch to the active voice
- Done
- De-italicize Associated Press
- Done
- "Entering the UK Singles Chart at number 35, Duran Duran mimed to the song" grammar
- Fixed
Critical reception
edit- I don't see how the quotebox is helpful; usage of quotebox is discouraged per WP:LONGQUOTE. I'd also revise the quoteboxes in the prior sections.
American remix
edit- "issued Rio through its Harvest subsidiary, which debuted at number 164 on Billboard's Top LPs & Tape" grammar
- Done
Overall
edit- Too many quoteboxes! See WP:LONGQUOTE (which I raised above) and revise them.
- How's that look?
- Except for the issues I raised above, the article is overall well-written. Putting this On hold. Ippantekina (talk) 04:23, 26 September 2022 (UTC)
- Ippantekina Replies above. Thanks for reviewing! – zmbro (talk) (cont) 00:04, 29 September 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing my comments. I went on to rewrite a sentence in the lead. The article looks fine now, great job! Ippantekina (talk) 02:26, 29 September 2022 (UTC)
- Ippantekina Replies above. Thanks for reviewing! – zmbro (talk) (cont) 00:04, 29 September 2022 (UTC)