Talk:Robert Grace (manufacturer)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 19:42, 10 March 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• " iron items like " -> " iron items including"

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Benjamin Franklin" link.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Benjamin Franklin. He once loaned Franklin some money"... "Benjamin Franklin to whom he once made a monetary loan."

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:41, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Franklin repaid him with the design of the Franklin" -> "The debt was repaid by Franklin with the design of his eponymous stove"... just trying to avoid Franklin so many times in one sentence.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:41, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• " One thing led to another" not encyclopedic in tone at all.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:41, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Where is DoB referenced.

•  Done - At the bottom of page 376 of James (1874) reference. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:02, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "descendant of the seventeenth-century" well given he was born in the early 18th century, is it possible to say how "descended"? Richard Grace died only 18 years before Robert Grace was born...

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:02, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Baron of Courtstown" what/where is this?

•  Done - At the top of page 376 of James (1874) reference.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:02, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Might be worth linking "invasion of Ireland".

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:02, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "repaid in more ways than one" not encyclopedic in tone.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:02, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Junto Club" is this notable?

•  Done Linked to our article. It is the base reason for the existence of the Philadelphia Public Library.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:10, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "It was proposed" by whom?

•  Done - By members of the Junto Club --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:20, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "by Benjamin Franklin for" no need for first name.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:22, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "married Mrs. Rebecca Nutt" where I'm from, we don't put a period at the end of Mrs

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:24, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "and Franklin. Franklin invented" repetitive.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Link "casting" appropriately.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "revolutionary" in what sense?!

•  Done -wl American Revolutionary War --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Grace was selling.." Grace sold...

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "Franklin was advertising... " Franklin advertised...

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "sold thru merchants" through.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:42, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• Is there a "manufacturer" category appropriate here?

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:55, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

That's it, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 19:46, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

•  Working Thanks for review. I'll start working on the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:28, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
• @The Rambling Man: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 22:55, 11 March 2021 (UTC)

• "when he was a teenager " who, Franklin or Grace?

•  Done - when Grace was a teenager --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:34, 12 March 2021 (UTC)

• "iron bells were also made at this forge factory. An iron bell" bit clunky repetitive, can we rephrase to smooth it out with the repeat?

The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 08:28, 12 March 2021 (UTC)

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:42, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
• @The Rambling Man: Additional issues addressed. Can you tke another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:42, 12 March 2021 (UTC)

Ok cool, seems fine to me, so promoting. Good work. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 13:05, 12 March 2021 (UTC)