Talk:Rock 'n' Roll Circus/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: StoryKai (talk · contribs) 21:59, 8 April 2016 (UTC)

Review wrap-up

• @StoryKai: I didn't know where to write, as the information you had given me isn't present whilst editing this page. Aside from that, I have finished all your comments above. If any issues, please let me know; Cheers, CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 00:08, 17 April 2016 (UTC)

@CaliforniaDreamsFan:--"Hamasaki's first third-album set alongside"=Isn't this Hamasaki's third two-album set?

--"for both music video"=Pluralize "video".

--"for both music video"=Pluralize "video".

--"artist to accomplished"=Delete "to".

--"was more "restrainted" than her previous music..."=Maybe you should say, "showed more "restraint" than her previous music...""

StoryKai (talk) 14:20, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

@StoryKai: Sorry for the late reply, did not get a ping or notification; finished what you have stated above. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 03:16, 5 May 2016 (UTC)

Hi, this is my first good article review. I will look at the article and help you improve it.StoryKai (talk) 21:59, 8 April 2016 (UTC)

1. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

References to sources:

Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

1. Is it broad in its coverage?

Major aspects:

1. Is it neutral?

Fair representation without bias:

1. Is it reasonably well written?

MoS compliance:

Prose quality:

--"promote the album; a standalone"=This semicolon should be a colon.

--"influenced interludes;"=This semicolon should be a colon.

--"album; "Microphone" and"=This semicolon should be a comma.

--"albums second and final a-side single", "the albums rock influences, positive towards the albums", "albums lead a-side single", "the albums second and final a-side"=All of these parts are missing apostrophes.

--"He commented "This was", "He stated "Rock 'n Roll Circus", "He later commented "I think this", "he concluded "This is"=You need to put commas before the quotation marks.

--"moved to London, United Kingdom to record"=Put a comma after "United Kingdom".

--"he said of the album's music;"=Delete all of this part of the sentence.

--"was more "restraint" than her"=Replace restraint with restrained.

--"it remain's Hamasaki's"=Delete the apostrophe.

--"the best album's of 2010"=Delete the apostrophe.

--"furthered state"=This should be "stated".

--"Circus was more consistent"=Use "were".

--"videos for both singles was shot"=Use "were".

--"two album sets to do this was A Song"=Use "were".

--"Circus were written by Hamasaki"=Use "was".

--"sales mark were printed"=Use "was".

--"features the hand-written lyrics"=Use "feature".

--"in compared to Next Level"=This should be "comparison".

--"an estimate 205,000 sold units"=This should be "estimated".

--"ten studio album"=This should be "tenth".

--"one album topped the charts"=This should be "at the top of".

--"not to received a double platinum"=This should be "to receive".

--"over he lover"=This should be "her".

--"dancing with Englishman"=This should be "Englishmen".

--"primary topic to"=Instead of "topic to", say "reason for".

--"artist to accomplish this"=This should be "accomplished".

--"Style declared Hamasaki"=This should be "to declare".

--"a scorned portrait"=What does "scorned" mean?

--"both which intercepts each other"=This also makes no sense.

--"ol' Robot face"=Who is "ol' Robot face"? This requires some explanation.

--"are the only tracks with any English language"=Why is this in italics?

--"first two-album set alongside Love Songs"=This should be "third", right?

--"Asian Junkie"=There is no reason for this to be linked in the middle of the article.

--"[Rock 'n' Roll Circus]... basically has a feeling of "back-to-basics." A feeling of Ayumi Hamasaki, and less of adventure..."=This quote appears two times in the article right beside each other. You should delete one of the quotes.

--"including SNS[disambiguation needed]"=Fix this tagging.

"[9][10][11][12][13]", "Secret in 2006.[1][19][20][21]", "[1][24][25][26]"=There should not be so many citations at the end of some sentences. It just seems confusing to me. Delete some of the citations or else split the citations up within the sentence so that there are not so many of them right at the end.

• Another option is WP:BUNDLING. Curly Turkey 🍁 ¡gobble! 03:52, 15 April 2016 (UTC)