Talk:Ronald Smelser/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Gog the Mild in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 18:52, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
- It is possible that I have the wrong end of the stick, but the details I can find on Folly's 2010 article in History are slightly different from those you give.
- You're probably right; I'm seeing "volume 95, issue 320" here: [1], so I changed it. --K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- A minor point, "the Reichswehr/Wehrmacht": the MoS suggests avoiding slashes. Would it be possible to reword to avoid this?
- Fixed. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- "contains biographical sketches of the thirty leading members of the SS". Did you mean to include "the", or would the phrase be more accurate without it?
- Fixed. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- "Smelser established the annual Holocaust "Days of Remembrance" programming at the University of Utah". 'Programme'?
- Fixed. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- Optional point. "high school aged children". I consider myself an educated person but I honestly don't know what age range this is. (And I used to work in education.) I realise that Smelser was probably aiming at an American audience, but it may be useful to rephrase, or bracket an explanation, to make the meaning more accessible.
- Changed to "teenagers" for clarity. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- Minor point. "explaining their impact on the popular culture." Is "the" necessary?
- Fixed. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- Minor point. "The Foreign Affairs magazine called the book" Again I don't think that a definite article is necessary.(The one introducing the sentence.)
- Fixed. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
- Minor point. "from the popular history writers and the World War II enthusiasts." Again, IMO, the article would be the better for losing the two definite articles.
- Fixed. K.e.coffman (talk) 01:02, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
A fine article. Really good work. Nice to see these sort of "back room workers" getting the credit they deserve. (Especially stalwarts like Smelser; but that's POV.) Gog the Mild (talk) 19:02, 23 July 2018 (UTC)
Thank you for your edits. A fine article there. Good to see. Gog the Mild (talk) 09:11, 26 July 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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