Talk:Rosalie Slaughter Morton/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Sainsf in topic GA Review
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 02:15, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
Hi! Will review. Sainsf <^>Feel at home 02:15, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
- @Sainsf: Great! Let me know if I can do anything. Sam Walton (talk) 18:10, 17 April 2016 (UTC)
@Sam Walton: Sorry for the delay, was busy elsewhere. A very well-written article, only a few comments:
- It would be good to add the years for WW1 in the lead.
- I'm not sure about this. The dates for the war are only a click away, and I think it might confuse the reader since I don't have exact dates for when Rosalie was abroad and don't want to imply she was there for the whole war. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- The lead does not say much on her life, it focuses only on her career. It should cover all aspects of the article.
- I've added a paragraph about her earlier life. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- expecting her to find a husband who could provide for her Needs to be enclosed in endashes.
- Done. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- Winter Park, Florida where she died in 1968 Should be "Florida, where"
- Done. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- Dispensary where she worked "Dispensary, where"
- Done. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- After marrying George Morton Should it not be "Morton Jr."?
- Yep, done. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- they made Morton its first chairperson There may be confusion in this and a few following lines on who you refer to as Morton, the husband or the lady.
- I think there's less confusion now that the previous sentence says Morton Jr.; I'd hope readers could tell that I would refer to George as Morton Jr. That said, I'm not sure how it could be better worded, I was tempted to write chairwoman but I didn't want to make it seem like she was simply the first female chair because she was indeed the first chairperson. In the following sentence I again use 'Morton' and immediately refer to her as 'she', and the PHEC chairperson thing is written in the lead as obviously referring to Rosalie, so I think it's ok. I kind of still agree though, so any suggestions on how that could be reworded would be appreciated! Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- The agencies in the "Books" section should have their names in italics.
- Done. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
These done, I would be happy to promote this article. Cheers! Sainsf <^>Feel at home 05:46, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- @Sainsf: Thanks! I hope I've addressed all your concerns. Sam Walton (talk) 08:05, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
- @Sam Walton: I am happy with your replies and the changes. I will go ahead and promote this. Awesome job! Sainsf <^>Feel at home 08:26, 18 April 2016 (UTC)