Ref 9, author's name isn't known. its not Gatecrasher.
Ref 12, add date and add publisher: New York Media
Ref 13, add publisher and date, consistant with other Rap-Up references
Ref 14, add author
Ref 18, add author
Ref 19 needs to be made consistant with the other MTV source.
Ref 24, add author
Ref 25, "Thursday" isn't the author's name.
I will get to these in a bit. I thought I had already fixed up the refs before I nominated the article, I guess not. I rely too much on Webreflinks, I know. xD Zac22:14, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
Terius "The Dream " → said person is never referred to this in way. Either call him "The-Dream" or "Terius Nash".
the sentences don't read well or flow well. Try
"Written and produced by The-Dream and Tricky Stewart, "Run the World" was one of several songs recorded with The-Dream and Stewart following Lopez's move from Epic Records to Island Records. Originally the track featured vocals from The-Dream and a rap verse from American rapper Rick Ross however the rap verse was removed during mastering process and The-Dream was credited with background vocals instead."
This sentence "Ross' rap was removed at the last minute, with it still being reported in February 2011, three months before the release of Love?, that he was featured on the track." isn't written well. How about In a February 2011 article about the then-upcoming release of Love? by Rap-Up magazine, Lopez called "Run the World" featuring Ross one of her favourite songs on the album. Three months later upon release, it was evidence that Ross' verse was removed during mastering process.?
"Run the World" has been cited as bringing back the old school feel of Lopez's single → been cited by who? in fact the whole sentance is a copy from the source. Needs paraphrasing properly or quoting properly.
The sentence ""Run the World" contains an optimistic message and upbeat melody, in which Lopez sings: "Our love could run the world"." is copy-pasted. Paraphrase or quote properly. → also the upbeat bit clashes with the first bit of the section which says mid-tempo. Upbeat is usually associated with up-tempo.
It is most certainly not copy and pasted. The source states: "With an optimistic message and upbeat melody, the song is a winner." The melody of the song is upbeat, but the song itself is a mid-tempo song. Zac22:20, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
Compared side-by-side its copy pasting and incorrectly quoted. Changing the order of a line from a source and then writing it word for word is still copy-pasting. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1[talk]22:32, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
reference: Lopez sings, “Our love could run the world.” With an optimistic message and upbeat melody, the song is a winner.
your version: "Run the World" contains an optimistic message and upbeat melody, in which Lopez sings: "Our love could run the world"
I have to disagree. "an optimistic message and upbeat melody" is what the reviewer says the song contains, I can't rewrite that and it's not something that would require quotations. Zac22:42, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
You should look up the definition of WP:COPYPASTE. If you did this in an academic peice of writing and it was run through plagarism software it would come up as an infringement. It is something which requires quotations. You could say according to XYZ "'Run the World' contains an optimistic message and upbeat melody", ABC particularly noted the lyric "Our love could run the world" as a good example of the optimism in the song. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1[talk]22:58, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
"who has explored the topic of love since the start of her career" → this quote floats in the middle of nowhere. Did Lopez say it? Did MTV say it? It should be according to XYZ, ...." Also the whole sentence reads wrong, it doesn't really connect to the next part of the text.
It's basically just a known fact that MTV commented on. I think it's important to note, but I agree that it reads weird how it currently is. Do you have a suggestion? Zac22:20, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
you could find a reference for each of her albums (maybe a review) which mentions the word love as a common theme. Fix that first then we can look at how its phrased. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1[talk]
Sorry I misread your comment above, what I meant was you could reorganise so that you mention the songs and then say "according to MTV, the topic of love is something which has always been present in Lopez's music dating back to the start of her career." — Lil_℧niquℇ №1[talk]22:58, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
Following the announcement of Lopez and Anthony's split two months after the release of Love?, it was speculated that the album also contained references to the ending of their marriage. → this is speculation and coming from a tabloid trashy magazine like OK!, it is not acceptable for a good article. If Lopez was having marital problems and mentioned it before the album release that's fine but a trashy magazine making the link for us after the album doesnt stand up to scrutiny.
There is potential but its feels rushed and little care has been taken over copying and paraphrasing. Also try to read the whole article and then you'll get a feel for the prose and whether it needs improvement. On hold, will review upon completion of the above. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1[talk]22:06, 11 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
Replace "recorded with The-Dream and Stewart" with "recorded with the duo". → Tricky & The-Dream mentioned too many times in same paragraph.
rapper Rick Ross however the → rapper Rick Ross however, the
replace: Reason: the suggested replacement text is more encylopedic and better written
According to Lopez, "Run the World" is about a "type of love when you come together you make each other better"[1]. She cited her relationship with then-husband Marc Anthony to be that type of love, stating that she believes that they have made each other better artists and people. with
According to Lopez, "Run the World" is a song about the "type of love when you come together you make each other better;" noting that she shared that love with then-husband Marc Antony. Relating the song to Antony, Lopez said she believes they have made each other better artists and people.[1]
that has been cited as bringing back the old school feel of Lopez's single → which critics compared to previous single "Jenny from the Block."
acclaim → response acclaim generally means positive reception.
add comment about the negative critism, e.g. although some critics criticised the mid-tempo production and reliance on auto-tune.
All done. Zac 22:10, 15 September 2012 (UTC)