Talk:Running Wild with Bear Grylls

Peer Review

You all did a great job with the overviews and detailed chronological outline of the show thus far. I like the whole table thing you got going on. However, when you start to talk about Bear Grylls' personal life: "Bear Grylls grew up on the Isle of Wight and began mountain climbing at a young age with his father. He served in the Special Air Service unit of the British army but broke his back in a parachuting accident over Southern Africa. In 1998, at age 23, Bear became one of the youngest people to climb Mt. Everest.[6]Bear also circumvented the United Kingdom on jetskis, led the first unassisted crossing of the frozen North Atlantic Ocean in an inflatable boat, and hosted a dinner party at a table suspended below a hot air balloon at 24,500 feet.[7] In 2005 he hosted two adventure television shows in the U.K. and in 2006, Man vs. Wild began its run in the U.S" This should be a different section within the Wikipedia article like Bear Grylls Personal Life or something along those lines.

Additionally, you should add hyperlinks for the celebrities, like Zac Efron, Channing Tatum, and the well known geographical areas that are traveled to in the show like Northeast Appalachian and Isle of Skye of Northern Scotland, and anything else (i.e The Today Show) that is relatively well known and would have a Wikipedia page.

Moreover, some of the descriptions of the show are a bit bias. You should stick to the facts and if there were any criticisms or praise for the show/episodes you should cite the source.

Other than that, everything's good!

-Erendira Evazquezp (talk)EvazquezpEvazquezp (talk)

Notes & Feedback from Gabi

Here is some feedback on your article Running Wild with Bear Grylls!

• Great use of templates. When it comes to writing about a show with multiple episodes, the template structure makes your article look organized and professional. You have cited references in an acceptable manner and do not use any original research, all great elements of the article.

Some ways that you can improve your article:

• Sections- you should separate your info into sections (your page is very introduction heavy). Some of that info can be put into sections. For example- look at the other Bear Grylls pages Get Out Alive with Bear Grylls, Man vs. Wild, or The Island with Bear Grylls. They have sections such as Background, Locations, Reception, Development and Productions, etc. Some of your info such as your paragraph about Bear Grylls' background shouldn't be in the intro, but perhaps in a background page.
• Neutrality- this is a big one: in your descriptions of the episodes there are some instances in which your POV isn't as neutral as it can be. For example, in the description of Zac Efron's episode, you end the description with "marked the end of a breathtaking adventure," which you can delete in order to make the sentence less subjective and more objective. In general, the rule is to use as few descriptive adjectives as possible.
• Images- look in the Wikimedia Commons to find pictures such as a picture of Bear Grylls, a picture of Zac Efron, or, better yet, a picture of the show itself.
• Hyperlinks- use hyperlinks to people and locations in your paragraphs in each section for the first reference of that item. You reference Zac Efron and Ben Stiller in the intro, but you should probably reference them / hyperlink them once more when you get to the descriptions of their episodes, or the places they are travelling (Isle of Skye...)

Good luck! Gabiravioli (talk) 21:53, 7 November 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

Overall, I think this is a very strong article. The template you use allows your article to fit in with the pages for other television shows. Additionally, it make it very easy to find information. You present the television show in a very logical manner starting from inception and moving towards actual episode. My one main suggestion would be to split the first section into multiple sections rather than having a multi paragraph "introduction to the show". Maybe have an "overview" or "history/conception" section to break it up a bit. I like how you linked to a lot of other pages, such as Bear Grylls himself and his many guests. I know that many shows have separate pages for each season of the show. Even though this show currently just has one season, one idea might be to make a new page linked to this one that has all of the episode breakdowns that you include on this main page. Additionally, you talk about how the show received generally positive reviews and have linked to different articles about the show in your sources section. Maybe include some quotes from these reviews to give readers a better idea of what the show is. You provided a lot of useful information that will be very helpful for people if they are looking to learn more about the show. Overall, I think you definitely improved upon this stub article have provided a lot of easy to read and understand information and resources to learn more (the website, IMDB page, etc)! E.manning23 (talk) 01:16, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

Additional feedback

Nice additions Rose0244, but you need to be conscious of tense when you're writing. When you're writing about the episode, bear in mind that these things happened in the past, so you shouldn't be writing about it in the present tense. Also think about tone - you're writing an encyclopaedia article, so focus more on facts and on simpler construction - what does "explore his limits" really mean? Does Bear really "display expertise"? Is that a statement of fact, or is that an opinion? (In other words, is there some level of skill that any reasonable observer would call "expert"? If not, it's an opinion.) Also think about using a less blow-by-blow structure. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:53, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

Merger proposal

Please note, there are 2 articles for this television series. A second page, Running Wild With Bear Grylls (note capitalization of "With"), was created after this one, and needs to be merged into this page, and then changed to a redirect. This article is the proper destination as it follows capitalization as per the official website. --Logical Fuzz (talk) 23:09, 15 November 2014 (UTC)