Talk:Russell family (Passions)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:23, 2 June 2016 (UTC)

• Thank you for picking this up for review. As you can probably tell, I have been working a lot on trying to update the pages related to this fictional family. I look forward to your comments! Aoba47 (talk) 04:47, 2 June 2016 (UTC)

• @Carbrera: Just a friendly reminder. :-) Aoba47 (talk) 00:35, 15 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• All good

Lead

Paragraph 1

• Insert a comma after "the married couple Eve Russell and T. C. Russell, and their children"
• "As the series progressed, four more characters were added to the family: Eve's vengeful, adoptive sister Liz Sanbourne, Eve's child with Julian Crane, Vincent Clarkson, Whitney's husband and Liz's son, Chad Harris-Crane, and Eve's aunt Irma Johnson." --> "As the series progressed, four more characters were added to the family: Eve's vengeful, adoptive sister Liz Sanbourne; Eve's child with Julian Crane, Vincent Clarkson; Whitney's husband and Liz's son, Chad Harris-Crane; and Eve's aunt Irma Johnson."

Paragraph 2

• "African American" --> "African-American"
• "Despite the criticism, the cast was frequently nominated for NAACP Image Awards. The cast was prominently featured in a series of public service announcement for Black History Month in 2003." --> "Despite the criticism, the cast was frequently nominated for NAACP Image Awards and prominently featured in a series of public service announcement for Black History Month in 2003."

Creation and development

Paragraph 1

• "soap opera since its start" --> "soap opera since its premiere"
• Link "NBC" in its first mention in this section (minus the lead)

Paragraph 2

• Rest is great work! :)

Core family members

• I know you currently have the family members listed alphabetically, but you should probably list them in order of importance; for example, I would list them as the following:

• Eve Russell
• T. C. Russell
• Simone Russell
• Whitney Russell
• Vincent Clarkson

• What do you think of that example?

• I agree with this idea. I also applied this to the "Extended family" section and placed Liz (who was a regular for around five years as opposed to Irma who was only on for a couple months). Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

Eve Russell

• Add "actresses" before "Amanda Maiden and Kimberly Kevon Williams played Eve in flashbacks.[12]" please
• Link "the Odd Couple" to the article for the original television series please, not the current 2015 series

• The phrasing is referring to how the pairing of Julian and Eve was shocking and odd since they appeared to have absolutely nothing in common. I am pretty sure it is not a reference to a show. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• Oh whooops. Lol. My bad! Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

Simone Russell

• I don't think you have to include the exact dates for the different actresses, but if you find no problem with it you can keep it as well

• I removed the dates from this section and the other section as well. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

T. C. Russell

• Italicize The Young and the Restless please

Vincent Clarkson

• In the caption, please change "sexuality and gender identity and his incestuous and criminal storylines." --> "sexuality and gender identity with his incestuous and criminal storylines."

Whitney Russell

• Nothing :)

Extended family

Chad Harris-Crane

• What about instead of "unnamed Harris-Crane", "an additional child"?

• I agree. I only used "unnamed Harris-Crane" as it was something all of the other Passions pages used (I thought it was pretty odd myself).

• Thanks. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• Again, I don't think you have to include the exact dates for the different actors, but if you find no problem with it you can keep it

Irma Johnson

• Add "actress" before "Marla Gibbs" please

Liz Sanbourne

• Add "actress" before "Amelia Marshall" please

• I moved this section before Irma. I hope this is okay. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• No it is, thanks! Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

Reception

Paragraph 1

• Who initially gave the show "negative reviews for its lack of development and focus on the Russells in comparison to the other families"?

• I included this as a topic sentence so that I could have some sort of organization to the section. I can remove this if you think it is unnecessary or inappropriate. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• It looks good there. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• Link Entertainment Weekly here please

Paragraph 4

• Unlink Entertainment Weekly here please

References

• Reference #65 - Italicize "Entertainment Weekly" and link it please
• Reference #72 - Unlink "Entertainment Weekly" please

End of GA Review:

Sorry for the delay in review, but this is a very good article that doesn't need a lot of help. ON HOLD for seven days to allow for changes. @PING me here with any questions, comments, or concerns. Thank you, Carbrera (talk) 20:58, 17 June 2016 (UTC).

• @Carbrera: Thank you for your review! Don't worry about the delay as I am just glad you grabbed this for a review in the first place. I have put a lot of work into this article so I appreciate your comments. I have addressed all of your comments. Let me know if there is anything else I can do. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)

• Will be passing now. Thank you! Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC).

• Thank you! :-) Aoba47 (talk) 02:20, 18 June 2016 (UTC)