Talk:Russian cruiser Bayan (1907)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Starstriker7 (talk · contribs) 07:46, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

I will also do this review. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 07:46, 1 December 2011 (UTC)

Criterion 1

Lead

• The other Russian warship articles I've seen have the name of the ship in Russian Cyrillic. If possible, add these.
  • Based on the name in the postcard, I've attached a soft sign to the name. I think that that should make it correct. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 03:18, 3 December 2011 (UTC)
• "During World War I she was modified to lay mines shortly after the war began and laid mines herself and provided cover for other ships laying minefields." - Break up the sentence using commas.
  • Broken into two sentences.
• "during the German invasion of the Estonian islands in late 1917 and was badly damaged." - Change to "in late 1917, where she was badly damaged"?
  • Done.

Design and description

• "In addition four more six-inch guns were added, two on each broadside." - Comma after "in addition".
  • Good catch.

Battle of Moon Sound

• "Bayan and the predreadnought Grazhdanin engaged the German minesweepers clearing the minefields guarding the entrance while the predreadnought Slava duelled with the dreadnoughts König and Kronprinz." - This sentence is kind of blocky. Can this be rephrased?
  • How does it read now?
    • I still find it a little blocky, but it is better. I added a few commas too. 00Starstriker7^(Talk) 03:18, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

Criterion 2

No issues here, as far as I can see.

Criterion 3

In my experience with these reviews, the article is both sufficiently broad and well-focused.

Criterion 4

No undue weight is given to any one side. The article is written in a neutral tone.

Criterion 5

Edit history is quiet.

Criterion 6

The picture's copyright status is tagged and checks out. No caption is needed here, and the image is relevant.

Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:24, 2 December 2011 (UTC)

You are welcome. I am passing it now. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 03:18, 3 December 2011 (UTC)

Overall comments

Once again, nice work. As with the Pallada, there are just a few grammar/diction nitpicks. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 07:41, 2 December 2011 (UTC)