Talk:Samoëla

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Samoëla/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Shaidar cuebiyar (talk · contribs) 23:45, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

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Starting the review

I will be going through each of the criteria below, in order. I reserve the right to return to earlier comments or sections and revise or add to them until the review is finished. Unless otherwise indicated, maintain existing wikilinks and formatting. The review process should take about a week. I will allow an additional week for any requested changes to be made before making my decision.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:45, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Check the toolbox at right: there are some problems. Fix them all.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:52, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

These problems still remain.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:57, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Criterion 1

It is reasonably well written.

a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

Infobox

• Use birth date and age template: {{birth date and age|1976|4|2|df=yes}}
• guitar implies electric guitar, doesn't he generally use acoustic guitar? If so replace.
• At occupation= provide other notable roles described in Other activities.
• At label = provide known entries in chronological order.

Lead

• Only three sentences. They are long-winded and contain unlinked jargon terms.
• Samoëla Rasolofoniaina, better known as Samoëla, > Samoëla Rasolofoniaina (born 2 April 1976, [[Madagascar]]), who performs as Samoëla,
• Divide the rest of the first sentence into two parts.
• He typically sings and plays acoustic guitar, > Typically, he plays acoustic guitar and sings, while
• End sentence at ensemble. Make a new sentence thereafter.
• He is distinguished by his use of smacks of puffery. Try He uses
• Rest of the last sentence needs to be further simplified and term(s) wikilinked if retaining jargon.
• The Lead should summarise the rest of the article. Some people reading this article don't read any more.
• What do you want to tell the general reader about the artist? What are his major musical achievements/awards/milestones? Give examples of his most recognisable works.
• Anything else notable about him? Is his political activity important?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:30, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Early life

• Trim and particularly the traditional Malagasy poetry form called hainteny, > including traditional Malagasy form, hainteny,
• Delete At the same time, Start that sentence with He studied
• Reduce puffery and trim rest of sentence on Christiane Ramanantsoa. (This article is about Samoëla not his teacher).
• Spell out ISCAM e.g Institut Supérieur de la Communication, des Affaires et du Management Madagascar (ISCAM)
• Trim sentence fragment which starts "with the intent to"
• Trim In 1995, a 19-year-old Samoëla attended a Vahombey concert at the Cercle Germano-Malgache that inspired him to become more directly involved in songwriting. > In 1995 Samoëla attended a concert by Vahombey in [[Antananarivo]]; he was inspired to become a songwriter. Add in some explanation of who/what Vahombey is.
• The concert impressed upon him the opportunity to > He wanted to
• Delete In particular,
• How is the last sentence of 2nd¶ substantially different from second sentence of 1st¶? The repetition is unnecessary but save the ref for use elsewhere as applicable.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:21, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Musical career

• De-link Antananarivo, which should have been wikilinked in the previous section.
• followed by concerts at numerous other cultural centers across the island. > followed by concerts at other cultural centers.
• Name the French music magazine publisher.
• Clarify "who invited him to contribute to an upcoming compilation album and participate in its promotional tour in France" Does this mean that Samoëla did contribute and tour? Or that he was invited but he did not do so?
• Delete During this same period,
• Name the journalist.
• Name the producer.
• Reduce puffery Madagascar's most venerable recording studio,
• Delete to the single
• Reword two female vocalists, Vero and Poune, to sing e.g. two vocalists, Vero and Poune, to sing lead or two vocalists, Vero and Poune, to sing harmony whichever is applicable.
• Clarify His first concert was in November 1997. Earlier we had gave his first performance in 1996.
• Clarify setting a record that remains unsurpassed in 2013 Also note that the ref is dated to September 2012, so the claim is not substantiated. Update, if possible, to October 2015. Be sure to use a reliable source for record sales. If this fact is nailed, it should also be in the Lead.
• Who or what named him as Artist of the Year in 1997?
• Wikilink countries in list from [[Réunion]] to [[Namibia]]
• Wikilink last three French cities after Paris.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:31, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
• Reword After several years of successful touring, > After the French tour,
• the artist > Samoëla
• How many charges did he face? Specify when and for how long he was imprisoned.
• "human" or "humane"?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 12:24, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
• "briefly tarnished" How briefly?
• Trim overseas performances in Paris, Marseille and Toulouse > performances in France
• End next sentence with France. The list of cities provides nothing new.
• Delete entitled
• Clarify A sixth album, 'Ty (2007), and subsequent album numerations. What is Teny an-tsehatra 2006, if its not an album?
• Specify enjoyed high sales I'm assuming it was less than 35,000? Make sure the reference is reliable for album sales.
• In last sentence of this ¶, delete second appearance of Malagasy: its redundant.
• "continues to regularly" The reference is dated at 2011, as far as I can see there's no information updated to October 2015, so this needs to be given a time frame.
• De-link Antananarivo.
• How long has he used "longtime band members"?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 19:49, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Style and image

• Name NewsMada journalist. Also if NewsMada is a journal/newspaper it should be rendered as NewsMada.
• Clarify As examples he cited Specify whether he's talking about his own work or examples from others.
• Trim declares himself > is
• Delete remarked that
• Reduce use of phrase "traditional Malagasy"
• Delete himself
• Wikilink [[djembe]]
• Use endashes or emdashes not hyphens for parenthetical dashes. (see MoS#Dashes)
• Who at Alliance Française wrote the description?
• Name who reported the study.
• Italicise Indian Ocean Daily News: it sounds like a newspaper.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:55, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Other activities

• Any music-related activities should be subsumed into the Musical career section.
• Delete entitled (unnecessary), celebrated (puffery)
• Trim In the play he performed alongside > The play included
• Exemplify "wide acclaim" or delete as puffery.
• hainteny as per previous usage.
• "sound engineer, producer and tour manager" are all part of his Musical career: should be mentioned above. Also "his eponymous group": should be mentioned above, not here.
• Be Mozik! should be mentioned earlier, too, especially as he is the owner-operator of that music-related business.
• "It is one of the few studios" and "the only one to exclusively" broad claims. Are both of these world-wide or locally restricted clams? In either case I hope the source is reliable.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:51, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Discography

• Where? Table should be displayed here not there.
• While fixing the table, use standard Column headers, e.g. Title, Album details, Peak chart positions, Certifications (sales thresholds)
• Specify: are all of these albums, are any live vs studio? e.g. Is Teny an-tsehatra 2006 a live album?
• ... Ao anatiny is not mentioned in the main text.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:57, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Categories

• Add more of these.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:59, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Criterion 2

It is factually accurate and verifiable.

a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

References

I will be checking all the references and each comment below is under their number as they existed at this time. The order may change from this numbering as refs get moved, added or deleted. Newspapers, journals and other works are generally italicised but publishers are not. Use dmy dates for date, archive date and retrieved date. Every effort should be made to identify author(s). My understanding of French is virtually zero, I rely on translation apps to help: consequently I may get content wrong, I apologise in advance.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:16, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Move Anderson ref and Didier and Raholiarisoa ref to top of section. Subdivide from rest of refs, e.g.: (copy from the wikicode, between the nowikis, for formatting)

{{refbegin}} ;General * {{cite book | last = Anderson | first = Ian | title = The Rough Guide to World Music, Vol. 1: Africa, Europe and the Middle East | publisher = [[Rough Guides]] | year = 2000 | chapter =Ocean Music from Southeast Africa | pages =523–532 | url = http://books.google.com/books?id=gyiTOcnb2yYC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false |location = London | isbn = 9781843535515}} * {{cite book | last1 = Didier | first1 = Mauro | last2 = Raholiarisoa | first2 = Emeline | title = Madagascar: L'île essentielle | publisher = Anako éditions | year = 2000 | isbn = |language = French |location = Paris}} ;Specific {{refend}} {{reflist}}

1. I get what looks like his Official website, if so, then the ref tab should include this unambiguously: readers should know that this is self-sourced (i.e. not independent). The news section contains an obscure Latin quote, which has nothing to do with the artist. This does not support any content. An independent, reliable source is needed at c, d, e, f, g. Also if it is his Official website it should be in the infobox and in External links
2. I get "404 Not Found". Content not verified. This is not looking good. Find a reliable alternative.
3. I get a timed out error. Content not verified. Find a reliable alternative. Italicise journal/magazine name.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:16, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
4. Subscription required. This should be noted in the reference. I can't check this source, either! L'Express de Madagascar seems to be a news site?
5. The general ref's chapter is on Madagascan music, p 529 has a single sentence on the artist. It verifies that he uses "racier lyrics" but not quite the content in his wp: article.
6. wL publisher. How is Radio France Internationale a reliable source for album sales? The specific ref does not say sold "more than" 35,000 copies. Information is only current to September 2012, so claim in this article is not verified. An update to October 2015 is required.
7. Madagascar Tribune sounds like a newspaper. For use at a: Source does not mention imprisonment, my translation says he "had problems with bounced check stories or other account to settle with third parties." For use at b: "situation that the artist transposed in a clip," satisfies music video claim. Need a better ref for imprisonment or delete that claim as contrary to policy at Wikipedia:Biographies of living persons.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:40, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
8. Again subscription required. Again, content not checkable. Source seems to be same publisher as ref [4].
9. Goes to same article as previous, has same url but different ref description! Fix this up to the correct url. If its a subscription required site, this should be noted. Again, content can't be checked.
10. Unable to access message. Unable to check content.
11. Unable to access. Unable to check.
12. Takes me to News Mada website, general content: not the article specified. Unable to access specific site, unable to check.
13. Samoëla is not mentioned in google books search of the work. Can't check content.
14. Unable to access message. Unable to check content.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:19, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

All up, this article is poorly supported by independent reliable sources. Fix the dead links, inaccessible sites or supply better sources. Contentious claims that are unsupported must be removed.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:19, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Criterion 3

It is broad in its coverage.

a (major aspects): b (focused):

• Update to 2015 is vitally needed.
• An album was released in that year but it is not even mentioned in the main text.
• Independent critical reviews of albums required.
• Critical reviews of performances required.
• Has his work been used in other media (film, TV, ads)?
• Has his material been covered by other artists?
• Should Poezia Project be in the discography table?
• His ownership of Be Mozik! should be expanded. Any notable fellow artists?
• The Lead should be expanded with description of his most important works, his label ownership, his work as producer-engineer.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 08:24, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Criterion 4

It follows the neutral point of view policy.

Fair representation without bias:

• Some issues of tone, especially puffery, have been aired above under Criterion 1.
• Imprisonment claim needs independent, reliable source for verification or immediate deletion.
• If these are adequately addressed this criterion should be met.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 08:24, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Criterion 5

It is stable.

No edit wars, etc.:

• Acceptable at this criterion.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 08:24, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Criterion 6

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

• No images have been used. I've made a quick look at free use sites but couldn't find a suitable file for uploading. A good, suitable image would help but it is not compulsory. Hence, this criterion has been met.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:44, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Overall

Overall:

Pass/Fail:

@Lemurbaby: You have seven days to address the issues raised in this review.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:44, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

@Lemurbaby: No new edits by nominator since 22 August. No new edits by any editor in article since 6 October. Article fails this GAN (see individual criteria above).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:57, 30 October 2015 (UTC)