Talk:Samragyee RL Shah/Archive 1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by CAPTAIN MEDUSA in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:Samragyee RL Shah/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 10:48, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • In the lead, I would address her pre-eminent roles before talking about her awards and pay.
  Done
  • " a huge success" not particularly neutral tone.
  Done
  • "numerous" is repeated twice in quick succession in the lead.
  Done
  • "in Birgunj, Nepal to" comma after Nepal.
  Done
  • "Shah is related to " you need to be specific which Shah as you've just mentioned two others...
  Done
  • "in Birgunj, Nepal from" comma after Nepal again.
  Done
  • "Shah was included in the list of "Top 10 ..." is there a context for this? Is it a Nepali-only award? What's the scope?
  Done
  • " in which she revealed " I guess you mean she was also interviewed inside the magazine because you've only mentioned her being on the cover.
  Done
  • "a huge box office" no need for "huge", just remove it.
  Done
  • "debut movie Dreams." Dreams needs to be in italics.
  Done
  • " day.[28]On 30 March 2018," space after ref.
  Done
  • "the film.[32]The film " repetitive and, once again, space after ref.
  Done
  • "On June 2019," date missing.
  Done
  • "Khadkha.[35]The film " space missing again.
  Done
  • Avoid SHOUTING in the reference titles.
  Done

That's all for the first pass, so the nomination is on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:26, 22 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

@The Rambling Man: Thank you so much for the GAN review. I've fixed the issues raised above. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:54, 22 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
@The Rambling Man: I've made some minor changes to the article.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:37, 25 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
I know, I'm on holiday and seem limited in what I can achieve on-wiki right now. Please be patient and I'll get to your review as soon as I can. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 17:15, 25 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
The Rambling Man, Thanks for letting me know. Also, enjoy your holiday. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:04, 27 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
@The Rambling Man:, if you have further questions about the article let me know.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 10:18, 30 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
Indeed. I am currently travelling back home, ETA another six hours if I'm lucky. As I noted, I'll get to this when I have a prolonged period of concentration. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 10:22, 30 August 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • " by weekly publication Kantipur Saptahik sister publication of Kantipur" Shouldn't "Kantipur Saptahik" be in italics (it's a work) and I don't understand how it can be a "sister publication" of "Kantipur" which appears to be a publisher. And don't repeat "publication".
  Done :Kantipur is now linked to Kantipur (daily)
  • " Shah was featured on the cover, and was also interviewed inside the magazine of the M&S VMAG magazine" -> " Shah was featured on the cover of the M&S VMAG magazine and was also interviewed."
  Done
  • "film's producer Bhuwan K.C. stated" you've already linked him.
  Done
  • "who falls in love as an adult after being sought out by the holder of a childhood crush." I'm not sure I understand the latter half of this. Do you mean she falls in love with someone who had a crush on her when she was younger?
  Done
  • "The second half of the movie, however, involves a significant twist to the plot." I'm not sure what relevance this has.
  Done I don't know why that was there.
  • " psychiatrist.[19]In Shishir Rana's" space after ref.
  Done
  • "who unknowingly falls for Intu" are we supposed to know who Intu is?
  Done
  • " The film is set to release on 30 August 2019.[37]" it's September now, needs update.
  Done

The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:24, 2 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

@The Rambling Man:, I have fixed the article. Further comments are welcome ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:37, 2 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
@The Rambling Man: how is the article now. have you got chance to see it.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 12:13, 5 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Ok, I've made a few tweaks and think it's just about good enough for GA. I would heartily recommend that you get these peer reviewed in future before nomination, there were some basic issues there which I would expect to not be present in a GA nomination. But we're there now, good work. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:40, 5 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

The Rambling Man, thank you so much for the review. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 12:58, 5 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.