Talk:San Marino in the Eurovision Song Contest 2018/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 22:00, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
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I will start this review tomorrow, hopefully your GT comes soon enough! --K. Peake 22:00, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
edit- Shouldn't you use a semi-colon to separate the dates for the shows because otherwise it reads like they ran from 9 to 16 February?
- Introduce 1in360 as being a London-based company
- "to stage an internet search" → "to stage an online show" since elsewise, it sounds like they relied on trends from the internet
- Why is only the 11 participant final mentioned when the show had that many too and came directly before the final?
- "feat. Jenifer Brening" → "featuring Jenifer Brening", as releases should not be stylised like this in prose
- "ten week anti-bullying" → "10 week anti-bullying" per MOS:NUM
Done Grk1011 (talk) 00:12, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Background
edit- "The nation's next three entries" → "The nation's next three entries,"
- "SMRTV confirmed" → "Radiotelevisione della Repubblica di San Marino (SMRTV) confirmed" with the pipe
Done Grk1011 (talk) 00:12, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Before Eurovision
edit1in360
edit- "On 17 October 2017 in" → "On 17 October 2017, in"
- "San Marino RTV director general" → "SMRTV director general"
- Remove London-based introduction to 1in360, as that can solely be in the lead like you've done for the broadcaster
- "or musical genre." → "or musical genres."
- "9 and 16 February 2018 and" → "the respective dates of 9 and 16 February"
- 1in360 should not be in italics for the YouTube channel, as that is the company's not the competition's
- Imgs lack relevance due to them not being sourced as jury members in prose
- The music professionals are sourced as deciding results for the final, not the first two shows
- The 10 part for points is not sourced, unless I missed something
Done Grk1011 (talk) 14:03, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Competing entries
edit- "with candidates from" → "with candidates submitting from"
- "as selected by fan clubs" → "as selected by Eurovision fan clubs" per the source
- "attended attended a song writing camp" → "attended a songwriting camp"
- "to determine their entries." → "to develop their entries." per the source
- "was responsible for the" → "was added to the"
- Remove pipe on acoustic
- "and as digital downloads on" → "and for digital download on"
Done Grk1011 (talk) 00:12, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Wildcard selection
editFirst wildcard
edit- "the World and" → "the rest of the World and"
- The table sentence can be at the end of the first para, as it is only one and they cover the same subject
- Table looks good!
Done Grk1011 (talk) 00:12, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Second wildcard
edit- Is the 1in360 website the one of the company and not that of the competition? If so, then it shouldn't be italicised.
- "website. All of" → "website; all of" to avoid sentences that are too short
- Mention that they voted until 8 December 2017
- "on the sites" → "on the website's"
- "The process for selection of" → "The selection process for" to be less wordy
- "amassing thousands of votes" → "amassing 10s of thousands of votes" per the source
- "and that some of the" → "and some of the" but the fee charged is unsourced, unless I missed something or the translator is faulty?
- "that the year's entry is to be what they described" → "the 2018 entry as set out to be what they described"
- The table sentence can be at the end of the second para, per my earlier comment
- Table looks good!
Done Grk1011 (talk) 15:59, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Third wildcard
edit- "Anita Simoncini, Fabrizio Valentini," → "Simoncini, Fabrizio Valentini,"
- The source says Monetta was a three time representative and remove comma after San Marino before her name
- "for the Eurovision Song Contest 2016 and was a past participant" → "of the Eurovision Song Contest 2016 and was a past winner"
Done Grk1011 (talk) 00:12, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Shows
edit- "took place on" → "took place on the respective dates of"
- Remove pipe on acoustic
- "of Straub, Sammarinese Head of Delegation Alessandro Capicchioni," → "of Straub, Capicchioni,"
- Artist → Artist(s) on the tables, per features being listed in the col
Done Grk1011 (talk) 00:12, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Final
edit- "the jury and online vote" → "the jury and online votes"
- "received 12 points, and if" → "received 12 points and if" but this sentence does not appear to be sourced fully unless I missed something in the wording?
- "and by SMRTV's frequent Eurovision commentator" → "and SMRTV's frequent Eurovision commentator"
- "due to poor travel conditions" → "due to bad weather" per the source
- Remove pipe on € in the second para
- "As number of PayPal votes" → "As the number of PayPal votes"
- The voting numbers sentence reads like a run-on currently; split at the 100,000 to 200,000 sentence to start a new sentence where the range starts at sextuple maybe?
- "her debut album in" → "her debut studio album Recovery in"
- Artist → Artist(s)
Done Grk1011 (talk) 15:59, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
Promotion
edit- Img looks good, but are you sure Madrid shouldn't be wikilinked on it?
- "They attended and performed at a" → "They performed for a"
- "A week later, they" → "A week later, the two"
- "in Lisbon – MoMe Nightclub on 9 May." → "in Lisbon – MoMe Nightclub on 9 May 2018."
- "also staged a ten week" → "also staged a 10 week" per MOS:NUM
- The source(s) do not mention them performing the song, unless I missed something?
Done Grk1011 (talk) 15:59, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
At Eurovision
edit- Remove wikilink on Lisbon
- Even though the five countries are sourced by [53], them being identified as the "Big Five" is not
- "in San Marino on San Marino RTV" → "in San Marino on both SMRTV"
- "by Lia Fiorio and Gigi Restivo." → "by Lia Fiorio and Gigi Restivo, respectively."
Done. I didn't add the "respectively" part as both commentators are together and the audio from the video and radio is the same. Grk1011 (talk) 14:27, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
Semi-final
edit- Img looks good!
- "on 1 and 4 May." → "for the first semi-final on 1 and 4 May 2018."
- "the competing entries took place" → "the competing entries, took place"
- The background dancers do not appear to be sourced
- Remove pipe on rap
- "for the grand final and was not announced" → "for the grand final, not being announced"
Done. Background dancers are in the Television Malta ref. Grk1011 (talk) 14:27, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
Voting
edit- "This jury judged" → "The jury judged"
- "and awarded by San Marino" → "and awarded by the nation"
- Tables look good!
Done Grk1011 (talk) 14:27, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
References
edit- Copyvio score looks very good at 23.7%!
- Nice job with the archiving once again!
- Refs 17 and 41 are missing the Eurovoix publisher
- Ref 27 is missing the ESCToday publisher
- Ref 28 is missing the Eurofestival News publisher
- Ref 29 is a duplicate of the one above
- WP:OVERLINK of Bratislava on refs 37 and 44
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 43
- Remove or replace ref 61 per WP:RSP
Done Grk1011 (talk) 14:27, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Grk1011 Nice to see a good number of review sections being marked off; when will everything be wrapped up most likely though? --K. Peake 20:38, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
Final comments and verdict
edit- On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice to see an article this long from you! --K. Peake 12:51, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: This was almost too long for me! What made it difficult was that they changed the rules several times, so early sources did not properly backup things that happened later in the process and I kept having to locate precise sources vs summary sources... Anyway, I think I've addressed all of your issues. Please let me know if that is not the case! Grk1011 (talk) 15:59, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Grk1011: Nice to receive a ping after the issues have been fully resolved, something which is not of your tendency to do! ✓ Pass now, it is understandable to get confused when the rules had been changing, especially for an article this large. --K. Peake 16:32, 21 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: This was almost too long for me! What made it difficult was that they changed the rules several times, so early sources did not properly backup things that happened later in the process and I kept having to locate precise sources vs summary sources... Anyway, I think I've addressed all of your issues. Please let me know if that is not the case! Grk1011 (talk) 15:59, 21 March 2021 (UTC)