Talk:Sebastian Grabowiecki

Verse example

I recommend adding a citation and translation to the existing verse example. My first attempt is below. Notes:

1. The translation is based on Google translate, which was not quite up to the task (I don't know Polish, so I have no idea how terrible this draft might be!) so it clearly must be fixed before being added to the article.
2. It currently functions as passable iambic pentameter (assuming ?? is replaced with an iambic word). If this can be maintained, we'll preserve a reasonable formal, as well as verbal, equivalence.
3. I've altered "dochodziem" and the 1st-line semicolon, based on my cited source.

Z twej śmierci, Jezu, dochodziem żywota; Śmierć podejmując dla nas, władzą śmierci Bierzesz, a z twej k nam miłości tej śmierci Moc dawasz, co nas wpuszcza do żywota.

With thy death, Jesus, is accomplished life; Death undergoing for us, the power of death You take, and from thy hand we love this death Power bestow, which brings us unto life.

References

Cheers. Phil wink (talk) 23:28, 20 July 2016 (UTC)

I've now updated the translation, slightly, based on input from Anagram16. (I've used "bestow" as a slightly old-fashioned equivalent to "dawasz" which is likewise old-fashioned.) However, even if the words are now right, the grammar of lines 3 & 4 must be wrong ... or is at least very unclear as it stands. Is this actually talking about Jesus' "loving hand"? Should it maybe read: "...and by thy loving hand from (or by?) death / Power bestow..."? Phil wink (talk) 01:10, 21 July 2016 (UTC)

Moved to Talk:Polish alexandrine § English formal equivalent

 – where it was evidently intended. Phil wink (talk) 14:50, 21 July 2016 (UTC)

 Done, although improvements are still welcome. Phil wink (talk) 19:00, 21 July 2016 (UTC)