Talk:Separate Vocations/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by SuperFlash101 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Hello, sweeping through to review a couple of articles to handle the GAN backlog. See Talk:I Married Marge/GA1 for how I perform the review. Let's get started. The Flash {talk} 22:31, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
Lead
edit- "[...]the school makes the students[...]" -> What school?
- Done
- Might want the movie Bart's policemen results to the second sentence where you mention his grades improving, as there's the sentence is more focused on Lisa.
- Done
- "It acquired a Nielsen Rating of 14.8, and was[...]" -> "Rating of 14.8 and was"
- Done
Plot
edit- "Lisa is therefore forced to spend the day[...]" -> does she force herself or is it required by the test?
- She is required by the test. Do you want me to change the text?
- Yes, please.
- Done
- Yes, please.
- She is required by the test. Do you want me to change the text?
Production
edit- "[...]when they went to school. Reiss, for example,[...]" -> "went to school; Reis, for"
- Done
- Not sure if this falls under the present-tense policy you addressed my last review, but should it not be "In one sequence where Bart imagines himself testifying in court, his voice had been censored and electronically altered to sound like American actor and television personalty Steve Allen" ? Since the producers did that during production of it, which is over?
- This is a "plot thingy" and should be in present tense (the same reason the cultural references are in present tense).
- "[...]personality Steve Allen. The producers were able to get Allen to appear in the episode for that part." -> this comes off as they made his voice sound like it, then had Allen come in and revoice over it. As this is likely not the cast joined the sentences and make it appear less ambiguous.
- Done
Cultural references
edit- The Streets of San Francisco thing should be back to back, not interrupted by a different sentence.
- Why? The Alf Clausen sentence needs to be where it is now, otherwise it won't make sense.
- I meant starting the other reference section with "Another similar reference to the film" and move it to behind the whole first San Francisco part, which includes the Clausen part.
- Why? The Alf Clausen sentence needs to be where it is now, otherwise it won't make sense.
- "[...]a blue dot. This is a[...]" -> "dot; this is"
- Done
Analysis
edit- "The authors of Popular Culture and Critical Pedagogy writes[...]" -> "they write that it is[...]"
- Done
Reception
edit- Any clue who wrote the source of the ratings?
- Done (Associated Press)
Images
edit- File:Jayne Meadows Steve Allen.jpg checks out - but wouldn't it be best just to crop that and simply show Allen?
- File:Nancy Cartwright.jpg works with the OTRS
- Done
- Thanks for the review! I think I got everything, but please check the article again. Theleftorium 16:24, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
Final say
editGreat work! Not much to attend to, I think....
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
The thing I noted about the San Francisco references in the "Cultural references" section need to be fixed as I further explained what I actually meant.- Still don't understand. Can you fix it yourself?
- Done.
- Still don't understand. Can you fix it yourself?
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Can you check on the author for the ref 11 like you did for ref 9?No author information available for this one.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
Wee things left, then it's a-okay! I'll be moving onto the "Radio Bart" after this, so look out! :PThe Flash {talk} 23:40, 12 August 2009 (UTC)- Thanks again for reviewing. I appreciate it. Theleftorium 14:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
- I've passed it - nice job! The Flash {talk} 17:14, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks again for reviewing. I appreciate it. Theleftorium 14:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail: